Keith told the Bay of Plenty Times an unattended cremation – one without a ceremony – was the cheapest option at about $5000. <\/p>\n
A cremation with a service costs $12,000 to $14,000.<\/p>\n
The \u201ctop end\u201d for a funeral service was \u201cunlimited\u201d with casket choice, venue, catering, flowers, a video package, and number of attendees influencing the cost, he said.<\/p>\n
Council costs were passed on to families, Keith said.<\/p>\n
He said some New Zealanders had a \u201cshe\u2019ll be right\u201d attitude and thought \u201cwe don\u2019t want to make a fuss\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhile we know that unattended cremations and do-it-yourself funerals can work for some people \u2026 we know that they can leave families without a sense of closure or community support.\u201d<\/p>\n
He said a funeral was not just about saying goodbye but acknowledging the reality of death.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen someone sits with the body of a loved one, you can see the mind starting to catch up with the heart. That\u2019s what it means to acknowledge the reality of the death.\u201d <\/p>\n
Other rituals, such as placing flowers, singing a hymn, reciting a poem and carrying the casket, were physical acts of mourning that helped families process the loss. <\/p>\n
Keith said trying to avoid the pain of loss could prolong suffering.<\/p>\n
Legacy Funerals at Pyes Pa in Tauranga. Photo \/ Alex Cairns<\/p>\n
\u201cFunerals give people a space to mourn, to cry, to speak, to hold each other. That\u2019s what helps us move forward.\u201d<\/p>\n
Keith said pre-planning and pre-paying a funeral could spare family stress. Some families may also qualify for a Work and Income funeral grant. The maximum grant amount is just over $2600.<\/p>\n
His advice to families was: \u201cPlan ahead, don\u2019t rush, and don\u2019t skip the goodbye\u201d.<\/p>\n
Hope Family Funerals funeral director Eva Wolf said the Te Puna business had also seen an increase in those asking for a simple, \u201cno service\u201d cremation – but also an increase in people pre-arranging their funerals.<\/p>\n
Eva Wolf is a funeral director at Hope Family Funerals near Tauranga.<\/p>\n
While happy to help keep costs down, their team had noticed grieving families with no opportunity for a goodbye could be left with \u201cunresolved emotions\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cA farewell does not need to be big or costly for it to give families the opportunity to pause, gather and honour the person who has died,\u201d Wolf said.<\/p>\n
She said it was positive to see more people pre-arranging their funeral, which ensured their wishes would be respected, eased the decision-making burden on loved ones and helped with financial preparedness.<\/p>\n
\u201cBelieve it or not, most people actually find it quite enjoyable to think about what kind of funeral they want and, for example, what music they want played or who they would like to do their eulogy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Skipping funerals can lead to \u2018disenfranchised grief\u2019 <\/p>\n
Grief Support Tauranga clinical team lead Ruth Barber said she was hearing \u201cmore and more\u201d about funerals going ahead without a service or ceremony, which she attributed to the cost-of-living crisis.<\/p>\n
\u201cFunerals are not cheap.\u201d<\/p>\n
Barber said not having a funeral could lead to \u201cdisenfranchised grief, that sense of nowhere to put your grief\u201d.<\/p>\n
This was highlighted during Covid times when people could not have funerals and tangi, she said.<\/p>\n
A funeral could be \u201cquite a reality check\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a lot of disbelief when somebody dies, and so that collective everybody getting together to acknowledge it can sometimes help to make it feel more real.\u201d<\/p>\n
It also helped with the \u201cisolating\u201d feeling of grief.<\/p>\n
Private funeral trend grows<\/p>\n
A 2023 industry trends report by the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand found that nationally one in five funerals was unattended.<\/p>\n
The association\u2019s new (and youngest ever) president Bradley Shaw, of Whakat\u0101ne\u2019s Gateway Funeral Services, said it was about to survey members for a new trend report coming next year. <\/p>\n
He expected this would show a reduction in unattended funerals.<\/p>\n
Shaw said, anecdotally, it appeared these were increasingly being replaced by more intimate and tailored invitation-only services.<\/p>\n
Bradley Shaw is the president of the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe believe more people are realising [not having a service] is not a positive start to their grief journey.\u201d<\/p>\n
Grief research late last year showed nearly 80% of people agreed a funeral supported a positive grief journey.<\/p>\n
Shaw said a simple, private service for just close family and friends was one way to farewell someone who wanted \u201cno fuss\u201d.<\/p>\n
This could cost anywhere from about $5000 to $10,000 and ranged from a basic casket, cremation and small gathering, to a service with 50 invited guests and \u201ccups of tea\u201d afterwards.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo fuss doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t want anything.\u201d<\/p>\n