{"id":200652,"date":"2025-12-25T02:52:13","date_gmt":"2025-12-25T02:52:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/200652\/"},"modified":"2025-12-25T02:52:13","modified_gmt":"2025-12-25T02:52:13","slug":"what-are-men-searching-for-and-running-from-when-they-go-on-a-retreat-lifestyle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/200652\/","title":{"rendered":"What are men searching for (and running from) when they go on a retreat? | Lifestyle"},"content":{"rendered":"

What are men escaping (for a week or, at most, for 10 days) when they go on a retreat in places where no one knows them? Places where no one is aware if they are CEOs, freelancers or rich heirs; if they\u2019re family men, uncompromising bachelors or divorcees, hetero, gay or bisexual? It would appear, according to several folks who are knowledgeable on the subject, that they are running from their environment, from the roles they have been assigned, and from the people who remind them of all of the above. \u201cThey are looking for a safe place where there are no expectations of them, where they don\u2019t have to maintain a predetermined attitude and where they can let their guard down,\u201d says Elisa Errea, founder of The Human Studio and The Wine Studio, who organizes retreats and helps many men to draw their \u201cstress maps<\/a>,\u201d which serve as X-rays of their weaknesses.<\/p>\n

Traditional masculinity as defined by stoicism, solvency, self-confidence and the glorification of always being busy is being realigned under the lens of mental health, empathy and self-care. This kind of messaging can awkwardly co-exist on sites like TikTok with toxic hyper-masculinities embodied by the likes of Andrew Tate and the crypto bros, who dare each other to up their burpees count. In contrast, these friendly networks encourage men to ask for help, to take care of themselves and accept their emotional vulnerability. In cities like London and New York, hipster barbershops have mutated into wellness spaces where, in addition to the usual cosmetic grooming services, personal growth talks are offered and retreats are organized. Figures from the Global Wellness Institute indicate that up to 95% of men have shown some degree of interest in their emotional state during the last year.<\/p>\n

The Financial Times says that wellness is the new status symbol among successful men. Conversations among financial gurus have less to do with Lamborghinis and frequent flier miles and much more with detox retreats, ozone therapy, hyperbaric chambers and genetic testing<\/a>. If before, success was defined by being busy, now it\u2019s about having time to reset at least two times a year.<\/p>\n

\"Evryman\"Evryman Retreat, in the United States, where men can purge their toxic emotions.Evryman<\/p>\n

Evryman, a men\u2019s wellness platform founded in 2016, was among the first to switch up men\u2019s traditional weekend plans, presenting eight-day retreats in Canada\u2019s Glacier National Park, near the U.S. border. The program, directed at people who live an accelerated lifestyle, organizes participants into groups of 15 to 20 men, and includes four hours a day of hiking, two of which take place in absolute silence, plus guided conversations about the past, relationships, work, and personal issues. An entire day is dedicated to trying to understand and control fits of angers, followed by meditation sessions and ice baths for at least three minutes, a kind of therapy<\/a> that is well-known on Instagram and TikTok by the moniker \u201ccold plunge\u201d, and which promises to elevate energy, concentration and one\u2019s sense of self-efficacy.<\/p>\n

The type of man who attends the experiences varies, but nearly all participants are going through a crisis, whether it\u2019s a separation, an ending, the death of a parent or entering a new decade, age-wise. \u201cMany times, they\u2019ve had an anxiety attack that they confused with a stroke, or they think they can\u2019t control their anger or that they\u2019ve ended up all alone<\/a>,\u201d says Errea, adding, \u201cAlthough nothing particular has to happen to you to go on a retreat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Luxury wellness centers have found a thriving customer base among businessmen and CEOs. They label them \u201cleaders\u201d and promise them a reset that will return them to the grind fresh, agile and energetic, with their hormones balanced and if necessary, treatment underway for obesity<\/a> or to stop hair loss (two of men\u2019s great fears, alongside erectile dysfunction). These retreats for \u201ctop-performing businesspeople\u201d are like spiritual MBAs where men can refine their social skills, train their emotional connections and try to knock down barriers that prevent them from showing vulnerability. At the SHA Wellness Clinic in Alicante province, in the Spanish Mediterranean, such men can be seen relaxed, wrapped in white bathrobes, discussing their progress on the cell phone and screen detox program, or feeling challenged by the anti-inflammatory diet that restricts certain stimulants, like alcohol and coffee. They sign up for the Leader\u2019s Performance program \u2014 prices start around $4,000 \u2014 where their sympathetic nervous system activity is regulated, they\u2019re taught to manage stress and to improve the quality of their sleep. It\u2019s one of the programs with the highest rate of returning customers, the clinic reports.<\/p>\n

\"SantuarioRelaxation area at the Santuario Wellness & Spa Abad\u00eda Retuerta in Valladolid, a complex that offers men’s retreats and programs to alleviate chronic stress.Abad\u00eda Retuerta<\/p>\n

The figure of the solitary leader is one of the subjects approached during these retreats. \u201cYou can have the most toned biceps in the world and the biggest checking account, but if you are emotionally isolated and socially disconnected, you won\u2019t be happy,\u201d a therapist might tell participants. According to the Loneliness Barometer, in Spain 20% of men suffer from \u201cunwanted loneliness\u201d and experts believe that figure could be much higher. And although figures for women are similar, it\u2019s believed that cultural barriers prevent men from asking for help.<\/p>\n

A retreat that takes participants away, physically and socially, from their regular environment, to a \u201csafe space\u201d to be fragile and imperfect in front of equally vulnerable strangers. \u201cRetreats often take place in exuberant natural areas that generate a tribal atmosphere that leads people to connect with their deepest essence and escape the accelerated digital environment that our personal and professional lives tend to take place in today,\u201d says Elisa, who organizes retreats at the Casa de Indianos (Liandres, Cantabria, Spain) and at Abad\u00eda Retuerta (Sadr\u00f3n de Duero, Valladolid, Spain).<\/p>\n

Located in Campwell Woods, a town hidden away in the Wiltshire forest in the United Kingdom, is the Both Sides retreat, which calls itself \u201ca physical, emotional and spiritual journey created for men of all ages and backgrounds\u201d designed so that participants can \u201crediscover and redefine masculinity.\u201d It promises to \u201cfoster community and connection with ourselves and the earth that we walk on.\u201d The retreat was co-founded in 2020 by Anthony Mullally, a retired Irish rugby player who wanted his teammates to stop eating meat<\/a>. Here, retreats last for three nights and seek, according to promotional materials, to break down masculine stereotypes and re-establish men\u2019s integrity through mindfulness exercises.<\/p>\n

Other big fears can lead men to consider a retreat, among them hair loss and declining testosterone levels. In such cases, retreats are led by doctors, who monitor their meals and do at least two assessments meant to help balance hormonal levels. Spoiler: this is not cheap. \u201cThere\u2019s an enormous gap in men\u2019s hormonal health, there\u2019s no awareness about testosterone fluctuations and their impact on sexual desire and aggression. Menopause<\/a> is discussed widely these days, but men are surprised when they see the shifts in their testosterone. They don\u2019t even measure it,\u201d says Errea.<\/p>\n

Insomnia and chronic stress are two common symptoms that Mike Dos Santos has seen in the men who come to the Abad\u00eda Retuerta Wellness Sanctuary. Jos\u00e9 Calder\u00f3n, CEO of Organic & Vegan Signature Spa in downtown Barcelona, thinks that men go to a spa or retreat because of symptoms that worry them, like muscle tension and the consequences of long-term stress, like grinding teeth, chronic muscle contractions and mental fatigue.<\/p>\n

Is an absence of women an essential part of a men\u2019s retreat? It would seem that the feminine presence can stimulate expectations of traditional gender roles and the associated fears that men look to escape. They would stop seeing the retreat as a safe space. Although Errea, who also organizes mixed retreats, thinks that the true success of a retreat lies in trust. \u201cThe most important thing is to create a tribal atmosphere among everyone,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

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