\u201cSubstance abuse was affecting my ability to manage socially and psychologically,\u201d Harawira said in a deeply personal interview.<\/p>\n
Riqi Harawira has opened up on the battles he faced that had him lose his spot in the Dead Flowers, and how he is now helping others. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was dangerous … poly substance use. I was using a lot of different types of drugs. I had a desire; I needed a lot of stimulation.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was the mid-1990s and the Dead Flowers were a big name in the New Zealand music industry.<\/p>\n
As well as their albums and singles, they earlier supported Guns N\u2019 Roses in front of an estimated 50,000 people<\/a> at Mt Smart Stadium in 1993.<\/p>\n The band \u2013 who had then had a string of charting singles including Lisa, Be Someone, Plastic, Watch Her Play and Home \u2013 were also one of the Kiwi acts selected to play at the first New Zealand leg of the Big Day Out tour<\/a> in 1994, attended by 14,000 people.<\/p>\n A year later they supported Pearl Jam \u2013 whose hits at the time included Better Man \u2013 at the Mt Smart Supertop, a gig that attracted more than 12,000 fans.<\/p>\n But as the band\u2019s profile grew, so, too, did the size of Harawira\u2019s drug abuse; something he believes \u201cunresolved childhood wounds\u201d had contributed to the \u201crisk-seeking behaviour\u201d.<\/p>\n That included abusing heroin, amphetamines, meth, speed and ecstasy.<\/p>\n \u201cUnpredictable\u201d behaviour followed and that led to Harawira leaving the band.<\/p>\n \u201cI was given to outbursts and … I guess embarrassing behaviour,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cI probably burnt a lot of bridges which may not have done the band any favours.\u201d<\/p>\n The drug use \u2013 and ultimate exit from the Dead Flowers \u2013 also came at a time when he was considering going solo, singing his own songs in his own way.<\/p>\n The Dead Flowers had earlier given him \u201ca purpose\u201d after being left rejected by the break-up of other rising bands he was part of.<\/p>\n Those splits had come after being left with feelings of rejection as a child \u2013 including while in state care as a teen.<\/p>\n Harawira\u2019s journey into the Dead Flowers<\/a> came after previous stints with Whiskey and Lace and My World Crazy bands \u2013 tipped for a bright future, but who broke up.<\/p>\n As a teen he was involved in a band that later evolved into Push Push.<\/p>\n Widely respected as one of the country\u2019s leading guitarists, he was approached by fellow Dead Flowers founding members Bell and David James to join them.<\/p>\n His initial response was lukewarm, telling them he was having a \u201chiatus\u201d after the disappointment of his previous bands folding.<\/p>\n But he fronted up for a band practice and quickly realised the band could be something special.<\/p>\n \u201cThe first practice was electric. I said, \u2018Look, let\u2019s just write a song right now. Let\u2019s just do it. Let\u2019s just go\u2019. And from that minute onwards, we just started punching above our weight.\u201d<\/p>\n From being \u201cheartbroken\u201d and disillusioned after the splits of both Whiskey and Lace and My World Crazy, Harawira said: \u201cBrian and Dave sort of saved me. They gave me purpose again, I felt important again\u201d.<\/p>\n \u2018I broke my heart again\u2019<\/p>\n Standing on stage at Te Teko in his first gig in a three-piece covers band, Harawira asked himself: \u201cWhat am I? What\u2019s happening?\u201d<\/p>\n He had set up his big \u201cMarshall stack\u201d of amplifiers and was playing his precious Les Paul guitar \u2013 reminders of his former rock \u2019n\u2019 roll status.<\/p>\n The crowd was sparse.<\/p>\n \u201cI broke my heart again. [I was] heartbroken again,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cBut [the cause] was my own behaviour; a huge sense of entitlement and denial to keep me going.\u201d<\/p>\n Fulltime work for a stage after his Dead Flowers exit was a job as a labourer \u2013 a role that included him moving public address systems at Auckland\u2019s Aotea Centre.<\/p>\n Dead Flowers guitarist and former bandmate Damon Newton worked at the venue as head of sound and vision.<\/p>\n As much as he liked Newton, the thought of running into him while on the job was something he dreaded.<\/p>\n \u201cI felt so whakama [ashamed], so crestfallen,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cI was just like, \u2018Oh my god, this is terrible. You know, [from where I was] I\u2019m actually pushing speakers in and out of venues now\u2019. And I dreaded seeing Damon. I didn\u2019t want him to see me because I didn\u2019t want to be embarrassed.\u201d<\/p>\n They were rock-bottom moments that led to Harawira thinking: \u201cI\u2019ve got to change. I have got to find a way to change.\u201d<\/p>\n Healing Strings: How Harawira saved himself and is now helping others<\/p>\n Harawira did change and not only himself, helping countless others since the early 2000s both as an addiction clinician and now as a family harm practitioner based on the Hibiscus Coast.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a story that Harawira is happy to tell with the aim that it might help others battling their own demons.<\/p>\n \u201cI work with men with complex issues,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cSo, if people can see that\u2019s what I\u2019ve done and where I am now, then it\u2019s quite a good healing story.\u201d<\/p>\n Harawira believes the \u201ctrauma\u201d of parts of his childhood and adolescence was the catalyst for issues led to him falling into drug abuse in later life.<\/p>\n For a time he was a ward of the state. In his mid-teens he had \u201cvery low self-esteem\u201d and too many weekends involved \u201cdrinking, fighting\u201d.<\/p>\n When asked what had helped him turn his life around, Harawira said: \u201cSelf-awareness. It\u2019s an awareness to accept the pain and the rejection, to forgive, to find gratitude.<\/p>\n \u201cTough times and strong emotions are like clouds, they don\u2019t last forever. You build resilience and then [you can] start unravelling the maladaptive behaviours, which I\u2019ve been doing.\u201d<\/p>\n The talented guitarist and songwriter also gained strength by embracing his M\u0101ori roots \u2013 that included changing his name from Riqi Hadfield (as he was known during his Dead Flowers days) to his ancestor\u2019s surname of Harawira.<\/p>\n Drug free, in the early 2000s he did a year\u2019s study at Te Taketake in addictions counselling.<\/p>\n Once qualified, his counselling work took him into Waikeria Prison where he worked as part of its drug treatment programme.<\/p>\n His role included teaching waiata and mau r\u0101kau \u2013 a traditional M\u0101ori martial art \u2013 to male inmates and helping as a peer support worker.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was a very important part of my journey, the first step into wellbeing,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n Occasionally, an inmate would recognise him from his time in the Dead Flowers \u2013 as some do now in his present role \u2013 but he would \u201calways play it down because I\u2019m not there for that. I\u2019d really like to be known for the change agent that I am now.\u201d<\/p>\n Nowadays he works as a family harm practitioner at Man Alive in Henderson, working with men and families affected by family violence.<\/p>\n His role \u2013 which has him working with the Ministry of Justice, Oranga Tamariki, Hestia and Women\u2019s Refuge \u2013 includes carrying out comprehensive assessments to triage men in personal counselling or in a men\u2019s group that he co-facilitates.<\/p>\n \u201cMy experience with the dysfunction helps me understand other people\u2019s dysfunction,\u201d Harawira said.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess music\u2019s always been a bit of a Peter Pan fantasy. I guess unconsciously, I always thought of it as something that wouldn\u2019t last. I always feared not being able to find my purpose beyond music.<\/p>\n \u201cI really wanted to have a job that was a meaningful job that helped people. And I discovered that my own pain was the doorway.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought music was my only voice. But it turns out that working with the community is another pathway.\u201d<\/p>\n Harawira called Hawke\u2019s Bay home for several years until mid-2025.<\/p>\n He has since moved to the Hibiscus Coast.<\/p>\n Unexpected late-night reunion rekindles hit songwriting duo<\/p>\n In early July, 250-odd punters packed Napier\u2019s Kiwi-famous gig venue The Cabana to watch the Jordan Luck Band perform.<\/p>\n The headline band featured Bell on guitar and backing vocals.<\/p>\n While the set list consists of mainly cover versions of Luck\u2019s legendary former band, The Exponents,<\/a> Bell got the dancefloor pumping by leading a version of the Dead Flowers\u2019 1998 hit, I Wanna Know.<\/p>\n Among the crowd was Harawira.<\/p>\n Later he met with Bell backstage; one of the first times in about 15 years that they had spent time together. <\/p>\n The Herald was there as the duo caught up on lost time.<\/p>\n \u201cSeeing Brian reminded me of how close we were and how much we bonded through music in our early 20s,\u201d Harawira said. \u201cIt was a very special time.<\/p>\n \u201cBrian and I had developed a co-writing partnership. We used to joke we were like [John] Lennon and [Paul] McCartney. You needed that sort of sense of cockiness to believe in what you were doing.\u201d<\/p>\n And that night at The Cabana has had the duo unite musically again more than 30 years after they first wrote hits for the Dead Flowers; with Bell collaborating on Harawira\u2019s new single Patua te Taniwha (Smash the Taniwha), set to be released in late January.<\/p>\n Harawira sent Bell an audio clip of the song, but added he wasn\u2019t happy with some of the verse structures.<\/p>\n The pair have since worked on the song, with Harawira saying what Bell had offered was \u201cbrilliant\u201d.<\/p>\n The musical reunion had proved to be \u201ccathartic\u201d for Harawira.<\/p>\n \u201cBryan Bell collaborated with me just as we once did back with Dead Flowers, before my substance use and behaviour took me out of the game,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cIt shows that life still holds surprises. It\u2019s been 31 years since we wrote together and it reminds me that if you kia mau (hold on), redemption is always possible.<\/p>\n \u201cThe way this came together with Bryan was natural. I feel truly blessed to be working alongside him again.\u201d<\/p>\n Not only was it a blast to work with his old bandmate again, the meaning of Patua te Taniwha \u2013 which will feature on an album called Te Karanga (the calling) \u2013 was hugely special.<\/p>\n \u201cIt means smash the demons of shame, which is about my healing journey and others\u2019 healing journeys; feel the fear and do it anyway, don\u2019t let the whakama of shame hold you back,\u201d Harawira said.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you\u2019re new to speaking te reo, speak it. Make mistakes. Who cares? The ones who might take the risks are the ones that acquire the language.<\/p>\n \u201cThe kids out there that feel misunderstood or rejected, smash the demon of shame and put yourself out there.<\/p>\n \u201cMy hope is that this waiata resonates with all those who feel the noose of shame around their necks, encouraging them to have the courage to rise above fear and anxiety and smash the taniwha of shame.\u201d<\/p>\n Neil Reid<\/a> is a Napier-based senior reporter who covers general news, features and sport. He joined the Herald in 2014 and has 33 years of newsroom experience.<\/p>\n FAMILY VIOLENCE \u2013 DO YOU NEED HELP?<\/p>\n If you are being abused, remember it\u2019s not your fault \u2013 violence is never okay.<\/p>\n Where to go for help or more information:<\/p>\n Women\u2019s Refuge<\/a>: Crisis line \u2013 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24\/7).Shine<\/a>: Helpline \u2013 0508 744 633 (available 24\/7).It\u2019s Not Ok<\/a>: Family violence information line \u2013 0800 456 450.Shakti<\/a>: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. Crisis line \u2013 0800 742 584 (available 24\/7).Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga<\/a>: National Network of Family Violence ServicesWhite Ribbon<\/a>: Aiming to eliminate men\u2019s violence towards women.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cSubstance abuse was affecting my ability to manage socially and psychologically,\u201d Harawira said in a deeply personal interview.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":215255,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[1903,579,95,1863,23930,682,690,3401,2837,156,49122,679,71,130124,130123,72919,30538,15674,2203,194,32897,130126,11788,111,139,69,90,2682,52591,11789,130125,130122,1629,83113,36097,180,43395,1962,5433,427,3502,130121,1361,223,107,2044,61,24358,1316,102],"class_list":["post-215254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-abuse","tag-addiction","tag-and","tag-back","tag-band","tag-being","tag-dead","tag-drug","tag-during","tag-entertainment","tag-flowers","tag-forced","tag-from","tag-harawira","tag-harawiras","tag-heartbreak","tag-helping","tag-inspiring","tag-journey","tag-kiwi","tag-mate","tag-musically","tag-neil","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-on","tag-others","tag-redemption","tag-reid","tag-reuniting","tag-riqi","tag-rock","tag-rode","tag-roll","tag-shares","tag-smash","tag-special","tag-stage","tag-story","tag-success","tag-taniwha","tag-that","tag-the","tag-then","tag-time","tag-to","tag-wave","tag-when","tag-with"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=215254"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215254\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/215255"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=215254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=215254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=215254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}An early 1990s promotional photo of the Dead Flowers with Bryan Bell (second from right) and Riqi Harawira (right). Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
Kiwi rock band the Dead Flowers released three albums in the 1990s: Skin of a Stone, Sweetfish and the 1998 self-titled Dead Flowers. Riqi Harawira co-wrote and played on the first two. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n
Dead Flowers’ biggest gig had them support global chart-toppers Guns N’ Roses in front of 50,000 fans at Mt Smart Stadium in 1993. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
Riqi Harawira went from supporting Guns N’ Roses and Pearl Jam, to playing in front of a handful people of people in Te Teko. Photo \/ NZME<\/p>\n
Riqi Harawira (second from right) says he always feared running into ex-bandmate Damon Newton (left) when he was moving music gear around Aotea Centre. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
Riqi Harawira took control of his life by confronting the demons that had made things spiral out of control. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n
Being honest in confronting the demons of the past played a huge part in his turnaround, Riqi Harawira says. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n
Waikeria Prison was Riqi Harawira’s workplace for a time. Photo \/ NZME<\/p>\n
Riqi Harawira says helping make a difference in other people’s lives has been a source of pride. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n
For a time, Riqi Harawira thought music was his voice \u2013 now he has found a purpose in working in the community. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n
Napier’s legendary live music venue The Cabana \u2013 the longest running music-only venue in New Zealand \u2013 was the scene of the start of a special musical reunion between Riqi Harawira and Bryan Bell. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
Former Dead Flowers lead singer Bryan Bell (left) and Jordan Luck (right) on stage with the Jordan Luck Band. Photo \/ NZME<\/p>\n
Bryan Bell (sitting in the middle row) and Riqi Harawira (bottom right) were the main songwriting forces for the Dead Flowers. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
Reuniting with Bryan Bell proved to be cathartic for Riqi Harawira. Photo \/ Neil Reid<\/p>\n