{"id":275031,"date":"2026-02-09T09:16:22","date_gmt":"2026-02-09T09:16:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/275031\/"},"modified":"2026-02-09T09:16:22","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T09:16:22","slug":"am-i-selfish-the-hidden-trade-offs-of-being-all-in-on-building-wealth-money-talks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/275031\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I selfish? The hidden trade-offs of being all in on building wealth: Money Talks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s something else I didn\u2019t know when I started writing about money.<\/p>\n

The journey doesn\u2019t deliver one lesson at a time. They stack. Last week was about readiness. This week is about what sustained focus and discipline begins to do to you.<\/p>\n

My mission to build wealth and help others do the same is turning me inward in ways I did not anticipate. I\u2019m becoming selfish. Or at least I\u2019m behaving in ways that look and feel like selfishness. I\u2019m still deciding what to do with that reality.<\/p>\n

Purpose and discipline have changed me. That part is undeniable. They\u2019ve made me focused, consistent and effective. They\u2019ve also made me more rigid. Shorter. More distant. Less patient. Less emotionally available.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s uncomfortable is not just noticing the change. It\u2019s seeing it reflected back in real time. In conversations that feel strained. In the quiet resentment that creeps in when others don\u2019t move with my same urgency.<\/p>\n

I am building momentum and distance at the same time.<\/p>\n

This is the part of wealth building that rarely gets airtime. We talk about sacrifice in abstract terms. Fewer nights out. More spreadsheets tracking dollars. Longer timelines that stretch far beyond the present.<\/p>\n

We don\u2019t talk as much about how discipline can harden you if you are not paying attention.<\/p>\n

Every serious builder enters a season where life narrows. That season isn\u2019t wrong. But pretending it doesn\u2019t cost anything is.<\/p>\n

What I am grappling with is the identity shift itself.<\/p>\n

Last week\u2019s column was about not being ready. About how knowledge alone cannot move someone forward until their behavior catches up. What I\u2019m describing now feels like the other side of that coin: being so ready, so committed, so all in that the mission can start to consume more than it should.<\/p>\n

Even if this phase is not selfish by definition, I cannot pretend my actions don\u2019t impact the people around me.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the distinction I\u2019m learning to make. There\u2019s a difference between protecting your future and withdrawing from your present.<\/p>\n

I believe some withdrawal is necessary. You cannot build something meaningful without boundaries. You cannot stay endlessly available and expect compounding results. Permission to be misunderstood is part of the price. So is discomfort.<\/p>\n

I am giving myself that permission.<\/p>\n

At the same time, I don\u2019t want discipline to turn me into someone I don\u2019t recognize \u2014 or worse, someone I don\u2019t like. I don\u2019t want efficiency to replace empathy. I don\u2019t want progress to become an excuse.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m experimenting with a centering question: Where do I need to practice intentional generosity so discipline doesn\u2019t harden me?<\/p>\n

Not just generous with money. That part is easy to rationalize and outsource. I mean generosity that costs something. Time. Attention. Presence. Service.<\/p>\n

One simple exercise I am trying is naming a non-negotiable generosity ritual. Something small but deliberate. A standing check-in. Uninterrupted time. Showing up even when it is inconvenient.<\/p>\n

This is my attempt to humanize the mission without abandoning it.<\/p>\n

Because I won\u2019t abandon it. I still believe deeply in building wealth and in helping others do the same \u2014 when they are ready. I still believe discipline is the engine. I just no longer believe discipline alone is enough.<\/p>\n

There is a season for narrowing. There is also a responsibility to notice who gets pushed to the edges while you do it.<\/p>\n

Maybe this phase will still look selfish from the outside. I am making peace with that.<\/p>\n

What I am no longer willing to do is pretend the trade-offs are invisible or harmless.<\/p>\n

Darnell Mayberry is a sports editor based in Chicago and is the author of \u201c100 Things Thunder Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die.\u201d He loves his daughter Parker, money and the Minnesota Vikings. You will find his column, Money Talks, each Saturday on cleveland.com<\/a> and Sundays in The Plain Dealer.<\/p>\n

\"DarnellA new column by Darnell Mayberry brings readers along his journey toward teaching his young daughter, Parker, about financial literacy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s something else I didn\u2019t know when I started writing about money. The journey doesn\u2019t deliver one lesson…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":275032,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[155049,138,1834,246,5095,27892,300,111,139,69,244,245,915,155050,139437,2373],"class_list":{"0":"post-275031","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-allgau","9":"tag-business","10":"tag-euro","11":"tag-finance","12":"tag-finances","13":"tag-household","14":"tag-money","15":"tag-new-zealand","16":"tag-newzealand","17":"tag-nz","18":"tag-personal-finance","19":"tag-personalfinance","20":"tag-saving","21":"tag-symbol-photo","22":"tag-symbolic","23":"tag-taxes"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=275031"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275031\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/275032"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=275031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=275031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=275031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}