{"id":277145,"date":"2026-02-10T16:16:29","date_gmt":"2026-02-10T16:16:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/277145\/"},"modified":"2026-02-10T16:16:29","modified_gmt":"2026-02-10T16:16:29","slug":"missed-bills-odd-investments-when-its-time-to-talk-money-with-aging-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/277145\/","title":{"rendered":"Missed bills, odd investments \u2014 when it\u2019s time to talk money with aging parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

A new Bankrate survey<\/a> finds that money is the topic we’re most uncomfortable talking about with family and friends \u2014 after religion (18%), salary (45%), politics (24%) and relationships (51%). And when it comes to discussing finances with aging parents, those stakes feel even higher.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn general, people often shy away from having hard, but important conversations about their finances in fear of feeling uncomfortable or overstepping boundaries,\u201d says Heather Courtney Quinn, wealth management advisor at Fortuna Wealth Management.<\/p>\n

But the good news? Having that talk doesn\u2019t have to feel like an ambush. With the right approach, you can turn it into a productive conversation that brings you closer together. Here\u2019s how to talk to your parents about their finances.<\/p>\n

The real reason to have the “money talk”<\/p>\n

Many families don\u2019t talk about finances until there\u2019s a crisis. But by then, it\u2019s often too late to make informed decisions.<\/p>\n

“The biggest mistake people make is assuming everything is fine,” says Patrick Simasko, elder law attorney and financial advisor at Michigan-based Simasko Law. “They often don\u2019t actually have a clue what their parents have in their bank or how much income they have each month.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wondering when to talk about money with aging or elderly parents? Here are red flags that suggest it\u2019s time for the conversation:<\/p>\n

Unusual behavior, like unopened mail and late payments. \u201cThe signs can be subtle or obvious,\u201d says Pam Krueger, founder and CEO of Wealthramp. \u201cYou may notice a stack of unopened mail with missed bills, or realize their credit card, mortgage or utility bills are overdue or late fees have accumulated.\u201d<\/p>\n

Missing money or confusion about expenses. They may struggle to track spending \u2014 or, worse, fall victim to identity theft<\/a>, fraud or financial abuse.<\/p>\n

Memory lapses or difficulty keeping up with financial tasks. Forgetfulness can signal a deeper issue that requires intervention.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re noticing these signs, starting the conversation sooner rather than later can help prevent serious financial problems.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: 8 common money mindsets holding you back \u2014 and how to break through the barriers<\/a><\/p>\n

2 things to sort out before you talk<\/p>\n

A productive conversation starts long before you sit down with your parents. Taking these steps ahead of time can set you up for success.<\/p>\n

1. Set clear goals<\/p>\n

Before the discussion, ask yourself:<\/p>\n

What do I want to accomplish? Is it making sure bills are paid? Discussing long-term care<\/a>? Checking if they have an estate plan?<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the top priority? You don\u2019t need to cover everything in one sitting. Remember that this isn\u2019t a one-time talk \u2014 it’s an ongoing conversation.<\/p>\n

How much do I know about their key financial situation? Do they have a will and durable power of attorney? How about life insurance? Where are their important documents and account numbers stored?<\/p>\n

2. Decide who should be involved<\/p>\n

If you have siblings or other close family, decide whether they should be part of the conversation.<\/p>\n

But be mindful of family dynamics: If tensions run high between siblings or adult children, consider appointing a neutral third party \u2014 like a financial advisor or elder law attorney<\/a> \u2014 to help facilitate the conversation.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: 5 red flags to watch out for before choosing a financial advisor<\/a><\/p>\n

3 tips for starting the conversation right<\/p>\n

Discussing finances can make parents feel vulnerable. The way you frame the conversation can make all the difference. Here\u2019s how to talk to aging parents about their future.<\/p>\n

Pick the right time and place<\/p>\n

A relaxed family visit is better than a high-pressure or emotionally charged situation.<\/p>\n

“These conversations need to come from a place of love and respect,” says Cameron Huddleston, author of Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk. “If you let your parents know that you want to talk to them because you\u2019re looking out for their best interests, they likely won\u2019t get upset with you.”<\/p>\n

Start with empathy, not control<\/p>\n

A common mistake is coming in too aggressively, which can make parents shut down. Huddleston suggests saying something like:<\/p>\n

Mom and Dad, you took good care of me while I was growing up. I want to be able to do the same if you ever need help from me. Yes, I understand that your finances might not be any of my business right now. But if something were to happen to you, it might become my business. That\u2019s why I\u2019d like to get some information from you.<\/p>\n

Ask open-ended questions<\/p>\n

The best way to keep the conversation going is to ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. \u201cLet them know you\u2019re there to help and that understanding what they want to happen in the event they cannot speak for themselves is your objective,\u201d says Krueger.<\/p>\n

Some great questions to start with:<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you were in the hospital, how would I make sure your bills got paid?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a plan for long-term care if you ever need it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you feel comfortable sharing where important documents are stored in case I ever needed to access them?\u201d<\/p>\n

If they\u2019re hesitant, don\u2019t push. The goal is to build trust, not force them into a conversation they\u2019re not ready for. \u201cHow and when to bring up this conversation and asking the right questions is the only way to get the right answers,\u201d says Krueger.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: Medical debt, forgotten 401(k)s, no care plan: What to fix before retirement hits<\/a><\/p>\n

The 4 money topics you need to cover<\/p>\n

Once the conversation is rolling, focus on the most important financial matters as your parents age.<\/p>\n

1. Daily money management<\/p>\n

How do they pay bills? Are they taking any debts into retirement<\/a>? Do they receive scam calls, texts or emails<\/a>?<\/p>\n

“I regularly talk with my mother about scams I’ve heard of and listen when she talks about spam texts or emails,” says Brian Seelinger, an attorney at Knox, McLaughlin, Gornall & Sennett, P.C. “This communication helps remind her to ask me if she’s not positive about some type of mail, email or text.”<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: 5 practical ways to keep your financial information and identity safe online<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Healthcare costs and insurance<\/p>\n

Medical expenses and other care costs can quickly drain savings in retirement, so ask your parents about their health insurance, including Medicare or Medicaid, supplemental insurance policies and long-term care insurance. If they don\u2019t have a plan for covering unexpected medical expenses, now is the time to discuss options.<\/p>\n

Many aging parents assume they won\u2019t need long-term care, but 70% of people over 65 eventually do<\/a>. Planning ahead of time can make care more affordable and less stressful.<\/p>\n

“I just had a 73-year-old woman with muscular dystrophy come in and tell me she cannot afford $60 a week for physical therapy,” says Simasko, elder law attorney and financial advisor. “If her family had gotten involved sooner, she may not have had any issues covering her copay costs.”<\/p>\n

3. Estate planning and wills<\/p>\n

Make sure your parents have:<\/p>\n

An up-to-date will \u2014 legal document stating you want property and other assets distributed after your death<\/p>\n

A power of attorney \u2014 legal document authorizing a person to make financial and medical decisions on your behalf<\/p>\n

A living will or advance healthcare directive \u2014 legal document outlining your medical preferences and appointing another person to make care decisions on your behalf, especially for end-of-life care<\/p>\n

\u201cThe two most important documents families should have in place before an emergency arises are medical power of attorney and financial power of attorney,\u201d says Patrick Simasko, elder law attorney and financial advisor.<\/p>\n

If your parents don\u2019t have these documents yet, encourage them to meet with an estate planning attorney. It\u2019s far easier to get things in order while they\u2019re healthy than to deal with legal red tape during a crisis.<\/p>\n

4. Future housing plans<\/p>\n

Many parents assume they\u2019ll stay in their homes forever, but aging can bring mobility challenges or health issues that make independent living difficult, affecting their well-being.<\/p>\n

Ask such questions as:<\/p>\n

Do you have a plan if you need home care or assisted living?<\/p>\n

Are you open to help from a caregiver, such as a support worker?<\/p>\n

How do you feel about downsizing or moving to a senior community?<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: How healthy are your finances, really? 4 money questions to ask yourself<\/a><\/p>\n

What to do if the conversation becomes difficult<\/p>\n

Talking about money can bring up a lot of emotions \u2014 pride, fear or even embarrassment. If your parents become defensive, try these approaches.<\/p>\n

Acknowledge their concerns<\/p>\n

If they say, “I don\u2019t need help. Everything is fine,” try responding with:<\/p>\n

“I trust that you\u2019ve got things under control, but I just want to make sure I can step in if there\u2019s ever an emergency. This is about making things easier for you \u2014 not taking anything away.”<\/p>\n

Use real-life examples<\/p>\n

If they\u2019re reluctant to talk, sharing a real-world story can help:<\/p>\n

“I know someone whose parents didn\u2019t have a will, and it created a lot of stress for their family. I\u2019d love to make sure we don\u2019t end up in a similar situation.”<\/p>\n

Bring in a trusted third party<\/p>\n

If emotions run high, ask if you can bring in a financial advisor, attorney, certified financial planner or family friend they trust:<\/p>\n

“Would you feel more comfortable talking to a financial advisor together? They can walk us through what\u2019s important without any pressure.”<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: \u2018You call that an emergency fund?\u2019 5 money basics most adults are failing right now<\/a><\/p>\n

How to create a financial care plan together<\/p>\n

Once you’ve started the conversation, create a simple plan to keep up with your aging parents\u2019 finances and financial health.<\/p>\n

Monitor accounts for unusual activity. Many banks and financial advisors allow you to establish a trusted contact person to receive alerts. \u201cThis is someone the parent has named not to access their money, but to be the first person called if there is any reason to believe they\u2019re being scammed,” says Krueger.<\/p>\n

Plan regular check-ins. Even a simple, \u201cAnything on your mind financially?\u201d can be a good way to keep dialogue open.<\/p>\n

\u201cA big mistake when speaking to aging parents is attempting to change a significant portion of their financial lives all at once,\u201d says Peter Hoglund, senior vice president at Wealth Enhancement Group.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost of those financial habits are built over many years and provide comfort in familiarity. Try to identify and suggest changes to only those financial items that are truly harmful, and not simply different or archaic,\u201d says Hoglund.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: 5 practical ways to keep your financial information and identity safe online<\/a><\/p>\n

Resources and financial support for families<\/p>\n

Need extra support? These trusted resources can help you figure out how to talk to aging parents about finances and support you with services:<\/p>\n

2-1-1 hotline. This FCC-supported hotline is your three digits for information and social services that can help with food, finances, transportation and other necessary support through more than 200 local organizations, including United Way, Goodwill and community action partnerships. Simply dial 2-1-1 or search for help by ZIP code<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd0d Read more: Top 15 financial scams targeting older Americans \u2014 and how to avoid them<\/a><\/p>\n

Other stories you might likeAbout the writer<\/p>\n

Cassidy Horton<\/a> is a finance writer who specializes in banking, insurance, lending and paying down debt. Her expertise has been featured in NerdWallet, Forbes, MarketWatch, CNN, USA Today, Money, The Balance and Consumer Affairs, among other top financial publications. Cassidy first became interested in personal finance after paying off $18,000 in debt in 10 months of graduation with an MBA. Today, she’s committed to empowering people to stand up and take charge of their financial futures.<\/p>\n

Article edited by Kelly Suzan Waggoner<\/a><\/p>\n

\ud83d\udce9 Have thoughts or comments about this story \u2014 or ideas on topics you\u2019d like us to cover? Reach out to our team at finance.editors@aol.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A new Bankrate survey finds that money is the topic we’re most uncomfortable talking about with family and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":223851,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[155930,138,21335,155931,155933,246,3356,111,139,69,155932,244,245,36418,1105],"class_list":["post-277145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-personal-finance","tag-aging-parents","tag-business","tag-conversation","tag-elder-law-attorney","tag-elderly-parents","tag-finance","tag-financial-advisor","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-patrick-simasko","tag-personal-finance","tag-personalfinance","tag-power-of-attorney","tag-the-conversation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=277145"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277145\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/223851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=277145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=277145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=277145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}