Anyway, after being sexually rejected in Fiji by husband Danny, Bec is excited to mingle with the others and get her mind off her bedroom woes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re bonking!\u201d screams Alissa about her own marriage to David.<\/p>\n
Alissa, please don\u2019t rub Bec\u2019s face in your sex.<\/p>\n
After all the other wives gush about how perfect their marriages are, they turn to Bec, who\u2019s suspiciously quiet. She has no other choice but to lie.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll I wanted was someone tall and handsome so \u2026 it\u2019s been great! \u2026 So \u2026 yeah?\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Just like Allison Langdon on A Current Affair, Alissa asks the hard question: \u201cHAVE YOU BONKED?!\u201d<\/p>\n
Bec chooses her words carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe \u2026 had sex on the honeymoon,\u201d she nods. \u201cSince then, we haven\u2019t slept together \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
As the other wives share side glances, she races to reframe the situation, telling the ladies that she has decided with Danny to INTENTIONALLY not have sex \u2013 because THAT\u2019S how much they like each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had a conversation and decided we\u2019re really attracted to each other, but maybe we should wait to get to know each other more,\u201d she says, with all the confidence of Mel Robbins about whatever wack job new theory she has invented.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s around now that a producer pulls Danny away and asks him to rate his sexual attraction to Bec on a scale of one to 10.<\/p>\n
Danny grimaces: \u201cUm \u2026 three?\u201d<\/p>\n
Hmm. Interesting. And on a scale of one to 10, how do you rate your sexual attraction to the sexy imaginary pedestrian who haunted your Fijian honeymoon?<\/p>\n
Hot tip: You actually don\u2019t have to answer every question you\u2019re asked by a MAFS producer.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Mel is still pretending her sweet husband Luke doesn\u2019t exist. She has spent the past week ignoring all his attempts to get closer, leaving him with no other choice but to crowbar in random remarks in a desperate attempt to forge a connection.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour teeth are really straight,\u201d he observes in the back of the sponsorship Audi.<\/p>\n
No response.<\/p>\n
\u201c \u2026 Is your full name Melissa?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n
Yes, the questions suck. But what else can he do? Mel browbeats him and rolls her eyes and huffs and disparages him. He wants to spend time with her, but she treats him like a dog.<\/p>\n
We all know MAFS has a man problem \u2013 many toxic, chauvinistic gaslighters have lumbered down the dank halls of Trash Tower over the past 12 years. But it also has a woman problem: gals who have been raised to think that they themselves are the only person who matters in a relationship.<\/p>\n
When we first met Mel last week, she was screaming about wanting her life to be a Meg Ryan rom-com.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019M THE MAIN CHARACTER!\u2019 she wailed.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a monologue she whips out again tonight when she arrives at the cocktail party \u2013 crapping away to all the other wives with wide, teary eyes like she\u2019s a victim.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really wanted to live a life like a rom-com movie,\u201d she sighs. \u201cLike, I watched The Notebook before I went on this show. I was thinking I\u2019m going to be walking into my very own rom-com movie and I\u2019m going to be the main character. I wanna be a princess!\u201d<\/p>\n
Babe, in the cast credits of this horror film you\u2019re listed as \u201cPoorly Behaved Hysterical Woman No 3\u201d.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the door to the warehouse swings open. Gia and Scott burst in.<\/p>\n
Mel stars as \u201cPoorly Behaved Hysterical Woman No 3\u201d.<\/p>\n
Bec scrunches her face in disgust.<\/p>\n
\u201cGia and Scott definitely had that wannabe Barbie and Ken vibe,\u201d she groans.<\/p>\n
But of course, this trash talk only occurs behind Gia\u2019s back. In the room, Bec tells her arch nemesis that she looks like Shakira.<\/p>\n
Her hips don\u2019t lie \u2013 but Bec sure does.<\/p>\n
Gia rolls her eyes and gives us her assessment. \u201cIt was so fake.\u201d<\/p>\n
But she knows how to play the game. She returns serve and hits Bec with her own fake compliment: \u201cI like you in green!\u201d<\/p>\n
But the truth?<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think she looked good in green. A bit Grinchy for me,\u201d she quietly remarks.<\/p>\n
Inside the warehouse, there are no sexy imaginary pedestrians. So Danny\u2019s eyes have to stare at something \u2013 or someone \u2013 else.<\/p>\n
\u201cBec\u2019s man was definitely looking at me,\u201d Gia informs us.<\/p>\n
The freaks are ushered to the dining room for their daily feed and the experts try gaslighting us about how wholesome this experience is.<\/p>\n
We have no idea what Danny may or may not have been staring at \u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a great vibe! They\u2019re all getting along so well!\u201d John Aiken lies.<\/p>\n
Oh John. Nice try. Things are about to turn putrid in five, four, three, two \u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s kick s*** off!\u201d Gia declares.<\/p>\n
She turns to the dorky couple, Steve and Rachel, and asks one question: \u201cHave you had sex yet?\u201d<\/p>\n
We hear Steve gulp like a nervous cartoon character.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Nah. Ah \u2026 we had some hiccups on the honeymoon \u2026\u201d he stammers.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat hiccups?\u201d Gia interrogates.<\/p>\n
HE HAD DIARRHOEA, GIA. Diarrhoea on their honeymoon inside a tiny open-plan cabin where the only thing separating the toilet from the bed was a threadbare curtain. That\u2019s right \u2013 NO DOOR. So, Gia, that\u2019s why they haven\u2019t had sex.<\/p>\n
Gia brags about how her sex life with Scott is red hot.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had such a good honeymoon! It was perfect!\u201d she beams.<\/p>\n
Looks like Steve is feeling another bout of gastro coming on \u2026<\/p>\n
Bec glares across the table, getting Grinchier.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, we went to Fiji for a week \u2013 it was SO GOOD. Where did you guys go?\u201d she prods her enemy, knowing full well what the underwhelming answer is.<\/p>\n
\u201c \u2026 Townsville,\u201d Gia mutters.<\/p>\n
Bec and Danny erupt in laughter at the mention of the north Queensland city.<\/p>\n
Gia furrows her brow.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy is that funny? What\u2019s your f*****\u2019 problem?\u201d she snarls over the cackles.<\/p>\n
Oh, Gia, relax. We\u2019re sure the Mercure Townsville was a luxurious experience.<\/p>\n
\u201cBec is \u2026 yuck,\u201d Gia fumes to us. \u201cLike, it was just rude. She\u2019s rude. Like, Townsville was lovely! And it seems like we got on better than your man \u2013 who\u2019s looking me up and down, so chill.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hey! It\u2019s not that funny! Townsville is almost the Whitsundays! ALMOST \u2026 <\/p>\n
The residents will throw a parade down at The Strand for Gia next time she returns.<\/p>\n
She then shoots a question at Bec that she knows will cut deep: \u201cHave you guys had sex?\u201d<\/p>\n
After trying to avoid an answer, Bec finally reveals that they have indeed had sex but that they\u2019re now abstaining because that\u2019s how much they want their marriage to work.<\/p>\n
Mel interrupts with a question we\u2019ve all been grappling with.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait, is chicken \u2026 a meat?\u201d she scrunches her face, while nudging a congealed chunk of flesh around her plate with a fork.<\/p>\n
Everyone ignores Mel, returning their focus to the sex war.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ve done it, like, 12 times,\u201d Gia bellows.<\/p>\n
Gia: Honorary Townsville VIP.<\/p>\n
It torments Bec.<\/p>\n
\u201cOKAY, GOOD ON YOU!\u201d she mockingly applauds before running off to vent to us. \u201cI can\u2019t stand Gia. Fake tits and her fake ass and her fake face.\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh doll. In the MAFS universe, that\u2019s considered a compliment.<\/p>\n
As Gia cools off in her own corner of the warehouse, she doubles down on the claims that Bec\u2019s husband Danny is perving on her.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was looking me up and down a few times,\u201d she smirks. \u201cMaybe he\u2019s not happy with Mrs Grinchy.\u201d<\/p>\n
All this drama could spiral into its own spin-off titled How The Grinch Stole X-mafs.<\/p>\n
Married At First Sight Australia screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Anyway, after being sexually rejected in Fiji by husband Danny, Bec is excited to mingle with the others…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":287753,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[2246,2325,28430,1975,85,36339,156,21039,15124,1888,6276,14054,66303,19652,9610,111,139,69,8138,1679,38606,9424,7680,15386,1305,18916,160056,1361,32951,73886,112306,160055],"class_list":{"0":"post-287752","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-2246","9":"tag-2325","10":"tag-admission","11":"tag-at","12":"tag-australia","13":"tag-bride","14":"tag-entertainment","15":"tag-episode","16":"tag-fight","17":"tag-first","18":"tag-gets","19":"tag-james","20":"tag-jealous","21":"tag-mafs","22":"tag-married","23":"tag-new-zealand","24":"tag-newzealand","25":"tag-nz","26":"tag-recap","27":"tag-recaps","28":"tag-rejected","29":"tag-rivals","30":"tag-sex","31":"tag-sexually","32":"tag-show","33":"tag-sight","34":"tag-stoops","35":"tag-that","36":"tag-turns","37":"tag-ugly","38":"tag-weir","39":"tag-wives"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=287752"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/287752\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/287753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=287752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=287752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=287752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}