It\u2019s finger-lickin\u2019 good.<\/p>\n
Across the hall, the token elderly couple are enjoying an early dinner when Rebecca pulls out the sexy librarian outfit she bought for her Ultimate Fantasy Night. Steve\u2019s veneers snap shut.<\/p>\n
I wear something similar when I eat takeaways at home.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh. Yeah \u2026 it\u2019s \u2026 huh \u2026\u201d he mutters.<\/p>\n
Rebecca flicks her hair and offers a suggestion. \u201cIf you want me to put it on \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve winces.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh \u2026 yeah \u2026 look, I\u2019d rather not. Because it\u2019s not something that I \u2026 it\u2019s just, not for me,\u201d he brushes her off.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not what she wants to hear. She has been trying her hardest to get Steve to show her even a split-second of attraction, but he refuses.<\/p>\n
In anticipation of Sex Week, producers even installed non-slip rubber mats and grab rails in the elderly couple\u2019s Trash Tower suite, to prevent any falls. But for now, they go unused.<\/p>\n
No rails are being grabbed tonight.<\/p>\n
All we can say is tonight\u2019s rejection is probably a silver lining. Sexy lingerie costumes seem fun, but the reality is there\u2019s so many straps and strings and by the time you manage to yank it off your body, it\u2019s all tangled up in a ball like a pair of headphones at the bottom of your handbag.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Julia has taken the challenge of Ultimate Fantasy Night and turned it into a task that suits her personal agenda. It\u2019s important to remember that, before she embarked on a career as a professional Confidence and Charisma Coach, she was working as a journalist. And, with the way she presents herself whenever the camera\u2019s on her, we can\u2019t help but get the feeling she\u2019s using this opportunity as an audition to convince Channel 9 executives to give her a regular spot presenting some kind of wackjob segment on Today Extra.<\/p>\n
If Alissa has \u201cinfomercial voice\u201d, then Julia has \u201cnewsreader voice\u201d.<\/p>\n
Does the sex store let you return G-strings?<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to be authentic. I\u2019m wanting to honour and respect myself. And also lean in. And I want to continue the emotional depth. And expand the organic natural free-flowing energy that I probably need to romantically connect,\u201d she drones on knowingly, recycling buzz words from Instagram spirituality memes.<\/p>\n
She sits her husband Grayson down at a table and proceeds to interview him. She has even made cue cards like she\u2019s a talk-show host.<\/p>\n
Then come the questions \u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cAt school, were you bullied?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the most healing experience you\u2019ve had in friendship?<\/p>\n
\u201cHas a stranger ever changed your life?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s your favourite quality about your ex?\u201d<\/p>\n
We haven\u2019t seen an outfit like this since Dharma & Greg.<\/p>\n
She thinks she\u2019s going to get a standing ovation from the experts for this odd interpretation of Sex Week and intimacy-building. But it\u2019s all very contrived.<\/p>\n
Grayson closes his eyes and dreams of a wife who\u2019ll dress in lingerie and hand-feed him KFC drumsticks.<\/p>\n
Um, Grayson, are you seriously telling us you don\u2019t get turned on while discussing your experiences with teenage bullying?<\/p>\n
Elsewhere in Trash Tower, Rachel has just returned from Officeworks. Hedonistic! It\u2019s hard not to get aroused when you\u2019re surrounded by all those pens.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s armed with an A3 notepad and Textas. The plan is simple: execute a grand gesture that sends a clear message to husband Steve about what he needs to do to make her feel desired.<\/p>\n
For this Sex Week stunt, Rachel has drawn inspiration from that Love Actually scene where some guy ambushes Keira Knightley at her house and silently professes his love for her on a series of giant handwritten cue cards.<\/p>\n
When Steve enters the room, he sees his wife blindfolded, holding really big cue cards.<\/p>\n
He reads aloud the message: \u201cWill you kiss me now? In this moment? The kind of kiss that makes me feel something?\u201d<\/p>\n
Rachel then shuffles the papers around to reveal another cue card. This time, it issues a demand: KISS ME.<\/p>\n
Steve gulps.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can kiss you, Rachel. I can kiss you,\u201d he whispers. \u201c \u2026 But \u2026 I\u2019m not too sure if it\u2019s going to make you feel something.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rachel drops the A3 notepad \u2013 narrowly avoiding a paper cut to the foot \u2013 and rips off her blindfold. Tears are already streaming down her face.<\/p>\n
Steve takes a deep breath and begins to explain. It only makes the situation worse.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe way I stand in this relationship right now, I feel like it\u2019s roommates and I feel like it\u2019s friendly,\u201d he says. \u201cFor me to kiss you and make you feel something, I need to feel that romantic connection and unfortunately I haven\u2019t felt that romantic connection as of yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
And Carrie Bradshaw thought getting dumped on a Post-It was bad. Rule of thumb: stationery ruins relationships.<\/p>\n
Rachel has spent the past four weeks giving Steve nothing but patience and space and acceptance in the hope he\u2019ll eventually want to take things further. Now, she feels like a fool. And this rejection prompts an avalanche of emotion that can\u2019t be summed up on an A3 notepad.<\/p>\n
\u201cI like you Steven. I\u2019m attracted to you. I\u2019m having lucid dreams about you finally kissing me and it makes me excited,\u201d she yells.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd to sit here and say you feel no spark for me \u2013 what a slap in the face. All I wanted was a kiss \u2013 something more than a peck you\u2019d give ya mum. That\u2019s all I wanted. I actually think you don\u2019t want to kiss me at all. And I think you don\u2019t want to tell me directly that you\u2019re not into me and that you\u2019re not physically attracted to me. Direct question: do you have any physical attraction to me at all? Don\u2019t dance around it and give me a politically correct answer. Yes or no: are you physically attracted to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Steven refuses to give an answer.<\/p>\n
Rachel might not be getting the Sex Week she dreamt of. But she gave us a searing monologue that could\u2019ve been ripped from the script of Love Actually.<\/p>\n
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It\u2019s finger-lickin\u2019 good. Across the hall, the token elderly couple are enjoying an early dinner when Rebecca pulls…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":298887,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[9055,2246,308,1975,85,104153,36339,156,21039,1888,157314,16569,14054,2845,2882,19652,9610,111,139,69,8138,1679,164414,1439,7680,18916,164416,164415,52039,686,112306,143302],"class_list":["post-298886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-9055","tag-2246","tag-actually","tag-at","tag-australia","tag-backfires","tag-bride","tag-entertainment","tag-episode","tag-first","tag-humiliated","tag-iconic","tag-james","tag-leaving","tag-love","tag-mafs","tag-married","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-recap","tag-recaps","tag-recreates","tag-scene","tag-sex","tag-sight","tag-sobbing","tag-spectacularly","tag-stunt","tag-week","tag-weir","tag-wifes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=298886"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298886\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/298887"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=298886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=298886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=298886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}