{"id":316347,"date":"2026-03-06T18:01:16","date_gmt":"2026-03-06T18:01:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/316347\/"},"modified":"2026-03-06T18:01:16","modified_gmt":"2026-03-06T18:01:16","slug":"greg-dixons-another-kind-of-politics-parliament-stunned-as-luxon-changes-tune-on-iran-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/316347\/","title":{"rendered":"Greg Dixon\u2019s Another Kind of Politics: Parliament stunned as Luxon changes tune on Iran again"},"content":{"rendered":"

Photo \/ Getty Image. Illustration \/ Greg Dixon<\/p>\n

Greg Dixon\u2019s weekly satirical column Another Kind of Politics runs a sharp eye over local and international politics. <\/p>\n

\n The government\u2019s position on the US-Israel attacks on Iran took a turn for the bizarre yesterday, with Prime Minister Christopher Luxon attempting to sing his way out of saying
\n if he supports the strikes.\n <\/p>\n

Standing during yesterday\u2019s oral question time in Parliament to address days of criticism that his position on the ongoing military attacks is wishy-washy, weak-kneed, flip-floppy, feeble and muddled, Luxon cleared his throat, hummed middle C and then launched into song, singing: <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Iran, I ran so far away,<\/p>\n

I just ran, I ran all night and day,<\/p>\n

And Iran, I ran so far away,<\/p>\n

Iran, I couldn\u2019t get away\u201d<\/p>\n

Luxon then sat down to silence and began fiddling with his phone while Iran burned, Israel and US continued bombing and US President Donald Trump\u2019s regime offered the world another half dozen conflicting explanations for the timing of the attacks.<\/p>\n

Following his peculiar question time serenade, Luxon later appeared to put the song\u2019s lyric into action when he was observed running away, so far away, from reporters seeking clarification on his latest position on the war.<\/p>\n

In the Prime Minister\u2019s absence, Finance Minister Nicola Willis later told waiting media that Luxon\u2019s performance in the House had certainly silenced the government\u2019s critics. \u201cThe Prime Minister has once again shown the strength of his leadership and communication skills with this heartfelt song about Iran. There wasn\u2019t a dry seat in the House.\u201d<\/p>\n

Luxon\u2019s position on the US-Israel attacks on Iran, strikes which have been widely condemned as illegal under international law, has been confounding political observers all week. After first saying his government\u2019s position was to support \u201cany actions\u201d to stop Iran building nuclear weapons, he later walked back this position to only support \u201cactions\u201d to stop Iran going nuclear.<\/p>\n

After yesterday\u2019s operatic performance by Luxon, one commentator said that it now appeared that the Prime Minister\u2019s latest position on holding a position on the Iran attacks was to position himself as far away as possible from having a position.<\/p>\n

\u201cFollowing this performance, you\u2019d have to say Luxon is all over the place,\u201d the commentator said. \u201cHe\u2019s like a flock of seagulls.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"PhotoPhoto \/ Getty Images. Illustration \/ Greg Dixon.<\/p>\n

Trump orders large-scale missile strike on neck rash<\/p>\n

US President Donald Trump has announced Operation Epic Scratching in an attempt to eliminate a rash on his neck that he says has been threatening to go nuclear. <\/p>\n

Ongoing talks with Trump\u2019s angry rash, which is believed to have sponsored proxy rashes in his crotch and on his cankles, had ended with no deal. The rash\u2019s intransigence had left the United States with no option but to use lethal force to eliminate the unsightly skin eruption, the president said.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople are saying, so many people, that the most effective way to deal with a rash is to just leave it alone,\u201d Trump said. \u201cBut this was an itch I had to scratch. We sought repeatedly to make a deal with the rash. We tried. The rash wanted to do it. The rash didn\u2019t want to do it. The rash wanted to do it. The rash didn\u2019t want to do it again.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor these reasons, the United States military is undertaking a massive and ongoing operation to prevent this very wicked, radical rash from threatening America and our core national security interests.\u201d<\/p>\n

A dermatologist said firing missiles at a rash could lead to complications. \u201cIt might kill the rash\u2019s nuclear ambitions, but such a radical treatment comes with side effects, including spreading the rash further and death.\u201d<\/p>\n

A United Nations spokesperson said attacking the rash was an act of war, and without UN support it was illegal under international law.<\/p>\n

The rash has been approached for comment.<\/p>\n

MP Andrew Bayly tells electorate he\u2019s \u201ctaking some wine and f\u2014king off\u201d<\/p>\n

Infamous insult comic and National MP for Port Waikato Andrew Bayly says he will save his electorate from having to vote Act in this year\u2019s election by not standing in the seat again in November.<\/p>\n

However, Bayly said he isn\u2019t retiring from politics, but was \u201cexploring the option of applying to be on the party list\u201d. A National insider said the party was reserving spot number 115 on the list for Bayly, though the party\u2019s list for the 2023 election totalled just 74.<\/p>\n

Bayly\u2019s greatest contribution to the government this term was resigning as a minister early last year after calling a Marlborough vineyard worker a loser and telling him to \u201ctake some wine and f\u2014k off\u201d.<\/p>\n

Bayly said giving up the Port Waikato seat was entirely unrelated to that incident. \u201cIn fact, I want to move to the South Island so I can be closer to that loser from that vineyard.\u201d He said following his decision he was looking forward to taking his own advice. \u201cI shall be taking some wine from Bellamys\u2019 cellar and f\u2014king off as soon as I can.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ockham Award finalist Jacinda Ardern announces new book<\/p>\n

\"PhotoPhoto \/ Getty Images. Illustration \/ Greg Dixon.Save<\/a>Share this article<\/p>\n

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Copy LinkEmailFacebookTwitter\/XLinkedInReddit<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Photo \/ Getty Image. Illustration \/ Greg Dixon Greg Dixon\u2019s weekly satirical column Another Kind of Politics runs…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":316348,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[6030,9526,806,4500,91651,15209,42,16609,16099,16427,43,1118,90,1642,2847,24637,135,20247,40,38,41,39,115918],"class_list":["post-316347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-headlines","tag-again","tag-another","tag-as","tag-changes","tag-dixons","tag-greg","tag-headlines","tag-iran","tag-kind","tag-luxon","tag-news","tag-of","tag-on","tag-online","tag-only","tag-parliament","tag-politics","tag-stunned","tag-top-news","tag-top-stories","tag-topnews","tag-topstories","tag-tune"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/316347","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=316347"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/316347\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/316348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=316347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=316347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=316347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}