The retreat begins innocently enough, with Rachel sharing some big news about her relationship with Steven. She finally convinced him to brush his hair? No.<\/p>\n
\u201cOur intimacy levels increased. We have not banged yet, but it\u2019s really exciting,\u201d she gushes. \u201cI\u2019m not gonna go into detail.\u201d<\/p>\n
Champagne glasses clink. Congratulations all around.<\/p>\n
Then Bec skulks out of the shadows and approaches Steven.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just so excited that you fingerbanged,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Steven looks horrified. We\u2019re sure he barely even understands what that word means. But he knows he does not like it. And why is Bec just assuming that\u2019s what happened? A lot of F-words have been uttered on this show, but \u201cfingerbang\u201d is not one of them.<\/p>\n
Still, Bec\u2019s just getting started.<\/p>\n
She struts into the middle of the patio and summons everyone to gather around.<\/p>\n
\u201cLadies and gentlemen!\u201d she screams.<\/p>\n
After a glass or two of champagne, she\u2019s feeling cocky. She wants the spotlight. In her mind, she thinks this is her time to shine \u2013 deliver an improvised comedy routine that she believes will have TV execs calling her up to host this year\u2019s Logies.<\/p>\n
Bec\u2019s husband, Danny \u2013 who has had a front-row seat to Bec\u2019s many public showdowns over the past four weeks \u2013 takes a deep breath and gives his wife an unimpressed look. He can see the train already careening off the tracks.<\/p>\n
An unimpressed Danny braces for impact.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to call us all here tonight \u2013 it\u2019s the first night of retreat. And we\u2019ve had \u2018I love youse\u2019 \u2026 We\u2019ve had a couple who I thought could not come back from the brink of hell. Annnnd \u2026 WE\u2019VE HAD FINGERBANGS!\u201d she yells, pivoting to point at Rachel.<\/p>\n
The camera immediately cuts to Rachel to capture her humiliation, soundtracked to howls of laughter. From the beginning of the experiment, she has made her insecurities about sex and intimacy abundantly clear. And now, just as she\u2019s getting some confidence, it\u2019s turned into a punchline.<\/p>\n
When your private moment becomes someone else\u2019s amateur comedy routine \u2026 and burgeoning merch empire.<\/p>\n
As Rachel\u2019s eyes well up, the group tells Bec to apologise.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was meant to be a bitta fun!\u201d she squawks in retaliation.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it\u2019s not funny,\u201d Rachel replies. \u201cI shared with you guys that we took intimacy to a new level which was really important to Steven and I and you just made a joke of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Immediately, Bec gets defensive \u2013 framing herself as the innocent victim while yelling put-downs at Rachel.<\/p>\n
\u201cNahhh, I didn\u2019t make a joke of it,\u201d she slurs. \u201cIt\u2019s not a joke, dahhrrrling. You\u2019re verrry, verrrrrry quick to turn.\u201d<\/p>\n
The team of trauma cleaners might need to come earlier than expected.<\/p>\n
Rachel doesn\u2019t want to fight. She quietly excuses herself and goes inside.<\/p>\n
Bec tries to rally the troops, loudly shaming and mocking Rachel, trying desperately to get the remaining freaks to side with her.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet over it! F**k me! She needs to calm down! She pops off so quickly! I\u2019m over it. Look at her \u2013 goin\u2019 nuts. She\u2019s goin\u2019 off-her-head-nuts right now. She needs to relax. Jesus Christ. Honestly, she\u2019s just really hard work sometimes. She\u2019s goin\u2019 absolutely off her head \u2013 look at her in there \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Bec peers through a window to watch a humiliated Rachel sobbing. The obnoxious commentary continues to flow.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy husband is the one who encouraged your husband to fingerbang you, dahhrrrling. Okay? Just calm down. I\u2019m gonna get a T-shirt with FINGERBANG across it.\u201d<\/p>\n
OK, girl. But Channel 9\u2019s gonna want a 40% cut of all merch profits.<\/p>\n
While you\u2019re at it, start making merch bedazzled with the word CLUELESS.<\/p>\n
You\u2019d think Bec might wake up the next day with some clarity. Instead, she wakes up with more amateur comedy material.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s like \u2026 get a personality, will ya?\u201d she sneers about Rachel, continuing to rally anyone who\u2019ll listen. And surprisingly, her husband Danny\u2019s now on board. He has somehow been brainwashed overnight and is fully supporting his wife\u2019s campaign of mockery.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo ya think Steve-O wants to be cheering her up because he has fingerbanged her?\u201d Danny says. \u201cIt should\u2019ve made her happier. But it\u2019s made her sadder. He\u2019s probably thinking, \u2018F**k that, I\u2019m not gonna fingerblast her ever again\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yes, Rachel overreacts to things. But \u201cgets upset easily\u201d and \u201cdoesn\u2019t want strangers yelling FINGERBANG about her intimate life on national TV\u201d are actually two different categories of sensitivity.<\/p>\n
Even Juliette \u2013 who was called \u201ccruel\u201d, \u201cvile\u201d and \u201cugly\u201d by clinical experts just last night \u2013 feels qualified to weigh in, after Bec spends the day trying to get laughs by repeatedly announcing she\u2019s going to start screen printing FINGERBANG merch.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome girls are a lost cause,\u201d she sighs, as if she\u2019s some beacon of emotional maturity.<\/p>\n
Indeed. SOME girls are a lost cause.<\/p>\n
Sensing the tension hasn\u2019t quite reached critical mass, producers decide the best solution is to throw fuel \u2013 ahem, tequila \u2013 on the fire by organising separate drunken girls\u2019 and boys\u2019 nights. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n
At girls\u2019 night, Bec continues her comedy tour.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet a personality! She\u2019s hard work \u2013 Rachel is hard work to be friends with,\u201d she huffs quietly in a corner.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when Gia decides to be helpful by revealing that Bec\u2019s been telling everyone about her FINGERBANG merchandise empire.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s around now we\u2019re treated to a supercut flashback reel of every time Bec has apologised over the past three weeks, only to immediately be offensive again. It\u2019s a highlights reel of, well \u2026 lowlights. The point is clear: Bec keeps behaving poorly then begging for forgiveness \u2013 only to never change her ways.<\/p>\n
Will she now take responsibility?<\/p>\n
\u201cGet me the f**k outta here,\u201d she spits, storming out of the girls\u2019 night barn.<\/p>\n
The FINGERBANG entrepreneur.<\/p>\n
Desperate for validation, she crashes boys\u2019 night, screaming \u201cDANIEL!\u201d through the shrubs like she\u2019s fleeing a crime scene.<\/p>\n
\u2018Shhh. If we all stay really still, maybe she won\u2019t see us \u2026\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have no idea what I\u2019ve just been through!\u201d Bec wails to Danny. \u201cIt was just a gang up, completely.\u201d<\/p>\n
Huh. Last night, Bec told an upset Rachel to \u201cget over it\u201d and to stop being \u201chard work\u201d. But apparently when Bec gets confronted, it\u2019s a legitimate emergency.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s foul, man,\u201d Bec tells Danny, who\u2019s now completely brainwashed.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrow up,\u201d he mutters about Rachel. \u201cSteve-O\u2019s a charity case.\u201d<\/p>\n
The shared vitriol is apparently an aphrodisiac. They start dry-humping on the outdoor settee.<\/p>\n
Annnnd now the Airbnb owners need to throw out that settee.<\/p>\n
Post-make-up, they decide the only logical next step is to storm the barn and demand an immediate confrontation with Steven and Rachel. The mediation begins with Bec and Danny pouring scotch \u2013 because nothing says \u201cproductive conflict resolution\u201d like adding more alcohol at midnight.<\/p>\n
Scotch: the official beverage of mature conflict resolution.<\/p>\n
Bec immediately makes herself the victim.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think what hurt me tonight the most was you let everyone attack me,\u201d she slurs at Rachel, throwing in passive-aggressive pet names. \u201cHoney, darling, sweetie, baaaaaabe.\u201d<\/p>\n
It descends into another match of fingerbanging. No! Sorry! POINTING! Finger-POINTING!<\/p>\n
Then she drops a grenade. She mentions having a secret conversation with Steven earlier that day.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe said, \u2018Ya know what, Bec? I really love you. And I really love Rach\u2019,\u201d she stammers.<\/p>\n
Rachel\u2019s face drops.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you talking to my husband off camera? Did I know about that? No!\u201d she says, now paranoid that her own husband is trash-talking her.<\/p>\n
I think for now it\u2019s best if everyone just keeps their words \u2013 and fingers \u2013 to themselves.<\/p>\n
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The retreat begins innocently enough, with Rachel sharing some big news about her relationship with Steven. She finally…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":332743,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[2246,4727,1975,85,3595,4058,9539,156,21039,1888,19652,9610,2061,111,139,69,8138,92399,9644,7680,17703,18916,1961,1455],"class_list":["post-332742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-2246","tag-4727","tag-at","tag-australia","tag-by","tag-contains","tag-content","tag-entertainment","tag-episode","tag-first","tag-mafs","tag-married","tag-nature","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-recap","tag-rocked","tag-scandal","tag-sex","tag-sexual","tag-sight","tag-this","tag-warning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332742","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=332742"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332742\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/332743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=332742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=332742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=332742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}