{"id":338398,"date":"2026-03-20T02:03:10","date_gmt":"2026-03-20T02:03:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/338398\/"},"modified":"2026-03-20T02:03:10","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T02:03:10","slug":"this-translator-will-help-you-parse-your-bosss-mind-numbing-linkedin-speak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/338398\/","title":{"rendered":"This Translator Will Help You Parse Your Boss’s Mind-Numbing LinkedIn Speak"},"content":{"rendered":"

Perhaps nothing has poisoned the brains of bosses more than LinkedIn, a place where opportunities for \u201csynergy\u201d are abundant and everyone is on the lookout for a \u201cninja\u201d to fill a role. But if you\u2019re not in a management role, this might as well be a foreign language. Kagi<\/a>, an AI-powered translation tool, treats it like it is. In a recent update, the application introduced the ability to reverse engineer corpo communication into something that you can actually understand, among other options.<\/p>\n

You may have seen some of Kagi\u2019s translations going viral in recent weeks. The tool, which first introduced its \u201cLinkedIn Speak\u201d feature back in February, became a go-to tool<\/a> for turning phrases like \u201cI pooped my pants\u201d into LinkedIn-ready posts about \u201cnavigating an unexpected personal challenge that required an immediate pivot and resource management.\u201d But, importantly, it can also take LinkedIn Speak or corporate jargon and turn it into plain English.<\/p>\n

For instance, here\u2019s a recent statement<\/a> from Jeff Ettinger, interim chief executive officer of Hormel Foods, announcing the company would be selling off its turkey business: \u201cOur strategy for sustainable, profitable growth centers on expanding our value-added protein portfolio to meet evolving consumer needs, while reducing our exposure to more volatile, commodity-driven businesses.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s how Kagi translates it: \u201cWe\u2019re focusing on selling more high-margin processed meat products to grow the business steadily, while moving away from the unpredictable raw meat market.\u201d Not bad! (Though the auto-detect language feature did stick with English rather than \u201cCorporate jargon.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Kagi has a few other modes, too, like \u201cGen Z slang,\u201d as well as fantasy and sci-fi favorites like Klingon and Elvish. It appears they previously had a mode called \u201cHorny Margaret Thatcher<\/a>,\u201d but that seems to have disappeared. Maybe they\u2019re fine-tuning it with some unearthed dirty journal entries or something. But it\u2019s the corporate translator that provides a true service.<\/p>\n

Researchers at Cornell recently published a paper on what they call the Corporate Bullshit Receptivity Scale<\/a> (CBSR)\u2014basically, a measurement of how susceptible you are to empty boardroom semantics. The researchers, who defined<\/a> corporate BS as a \u201cspecific style of communication that uses confusing, abstract buzzwords in a functionally misleading way,\u201d found that the more likely you are to find this style of speaking to be appealing, the worse you probably are at doing your actual job. Basically, corporate speak is an obfuscation tool to bury a lack of practical skills behind a smokescreen of meaningless nonsense. Now you\u2019ve got a tool for seeing through it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Perhaps nothing has poisoned the brains of bosses more than LinkedIn, a place where opportunities for \u201csynergy\u201d are…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":338399,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[365,363,364,111,139,69,145,7322],"class_list":{"0":"post-338398","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-artificial-intelligence","8":"tag-ai","9":"tag-artificial-intelligence","10":"tag-artificialintelligence","11":"tag-new-zealand","12":"tag-newzealand","13":"tag-nz","14":"tag-technology","15":"tag-translation"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=338398"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338398\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/338399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=338398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=338398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=338398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}