{"id":347783,"date":"2026-03-25T22:39:12","date_gmt":"2026-03-25T22:39:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/347783\/"},"modified":"2026-03-25T22:39:12","modified_gmt":"2026-03-25T22:39:12","slug":"the-anxiety-of-trying-for-a-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/347783\/","title":{"rendered":"The anxiety of trying for a baby"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Shona Hendley\" data-testid=\"author-avatar-image\" height=\"64\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/b9555a6f228701394dd07153b5fbfa63069e560c.png\"  width=\"64\" class=\"sc-9a01536c-0 libeSR\"\/><\/p>\n<p data-testid=\"article-datetime\" class=\"sc-5cbbddda-5 hxoHkT\">March 26, 2026 \u2014 5:00am<\/p>\n<p>Save<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-d1b14060-4 JmUoF\">You have reached your maximum number of saved items.<\/p>\n<p>Remove items from your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/goodfood\/saved\" class=\"sc-3f16ee48-12 sc-d1b14060-2 jyLmZI iQLtAb\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">saved list<\/a> to add more.<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-369d9219-1 bOiPYX\">Save this article for later<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-369d9219-2 bufJxo\">Add articles to your saved list and come back to them anytime.<\/p>\n<p>Got it<\/p>\n<p>AAA<\/p>\n<p>Lambrina Gimian, 38, always wanted to be a mother. But after meeting her now-husband and deciding to start planning a family, instead of excitement, she felt something else: anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI felt constantly on edge, I had difficulty sleeping and a mind that struggled to switch off,\u201d says Gimian, who is based in Melbourne and works in community mental health.<\/p>\n<p>While postnatal anxiety is a widely recognised mental health issue, prenatal or pre-pregnancy anxiety \u2013 an intense or prolonged feeling of worry, stress or fear that some people experience when planning or trying for a baby \u2013 still isn\u2019t commonly understood or acknowledged.<\/p>\n<p>However, a recent survey by Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) found that the condition is widespread, with all 125 Australian respondents reporting it, making it the biggest stressor for women during the perinatal period, which spans from conception to the first year after birth.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Lambrina Gimian \u201cfelt constantly on edge\u201d while planning for a family.\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/f4524d298822611133f9fc5b03966610812b19b7.jpeg\"  class=\"sc-d34e428-1 ldCIuB\"\/>Lambrina Gimian \u201cfelt constantly on edge\u201d while planning for a family.Eddie Jim<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s striking is that this ranked above anxiety about birth (55 per cent), sleep (57 per cent) or even feeding (60 per cent),\u201d says Julie Borninkhof, clinical psychologist and chief executive of PANDA.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFor many people, the moment they decide to try for a baby is the moment uncertainty becomes very real. Questions about fertility, miscarriage, what they eat and drink, age and whether their body will \u2018cooperate\u2019 can quickly dominate thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Related Article<a href=\"https:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/lifestyle\/life-and-relationships\/more-kids-are-being-diagnosed-with-adhd-so-are-their-parents-20260310-p5o94a.html\" tabindex=\"-1\" class=\"sc-cba76dee-0 hdiTqm\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Jane Barbieri with her children Bella and Oscar.\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/992721959e80de558f6cb82f8c6e588d82a9ff8f.jpeg\"  class=\"sc-d34e428-1 ioInpc\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>For Gimian, much of this anxiety stemmed from concern about Huntington\u2019s Disease, an inherited neurodegenerative disorder, which her mother was diagnosed with in 2013.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe found out there was a 50 per cent chance of my brother and me inheriting it, so when my husband and I were planning to start trying for a baby, having that in the back of my mind &#8230; was obviously very anxiety-inducing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With Huntington\u2019s disease, along with other genetic conditions, able to be screened for through IVF, the couple decided to pursue that pathway. Now mother to a five-year-old son, Gimian says this was helpful, but also further compounded her anxiety, even after receiving reassuring test results.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe waiting was definitely the hardest part: waiting between appointments for test results, waiting for outcomes that were completely out of your hands.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Other factors, like the pressure to have a \u201cperfect birth\u201d also took a toll, exacerbated by social media, which pushed content about \u201cnatural\u201d deliveries and blissful postpartum periods.<\/p>\n<p>Dr Melanie Hemsley, general practitioner at Jean Hailes for Women\u2019s Health, says social media can portray a very glossy image of falling pregnant, pregnancy and parenting. \u201cThis can result in unrealistic expectations and significant distress when an individual\u2019s actual experience is markedly different to what they are seeing,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, while prenatal anxiety is common, experts say the health system isn\u2019t set up to support parents during this period.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPreconception doesn\u2019t come with structured care or routine mental health check-ins,\u201d says Borninkhof. \u201cIndividuals and couples are largely left alone to navigate their feelings and worries, especially those who have been trying to get pregnant for an extended period.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This was the case for 36-year-old Daniel Osgood who, along with his ex-partner, faced difficulty conceiving and pregnancy loss, which contributed to his prenatal anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAfter trying for over 12 months and getting pregnant, we lost the baby,\u201d says the Central Coast-based father of one. \u201cThat was a pretty big kick in the guts. It was like, why isn\u2019t this working? Is my universe telling me something?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Central Coast-based father of one Daniel Osgood\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/84c19542741bd70949cba3a5c69199bcf418e343.jpeg\"  class=\"sc-d34e428-1 ldCIuB\"\/>Central Coast-based father of one Daniel OsgoodAudrey Richardson<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, the couple found success with IVF, but through the pregnancy, Osgood says his anxiety intensified, fuelled by his socially disadvantaged upbringing and deep fears about whether he would repeat the patterns of his own father.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI had a shitty childhood. I moved around a lot. My parents drank lots, and there was domestic violence; I saw lots of things that kids shouldn\u2019t ever see in their lifetime,\u201d says Osgood, who works as a disability and social inclusion manager. \u201cMy biggest fear was turning out like my dad.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Catastrophic thinking and comparing himself to others were two of the main ways Osgood\u2019s anxiety showed itself. He says that once his son was born, lack of sleep and the traumatic birth his then-partner experienced made the postnatal period even tougher.<\/p>\n<p>Hemsley says this is common, with early experiences of worry and anxiety often carrying over into the pregnancy and newborn periods, affecting early bonding and general mental health.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe know that one of the biggest predictors of postnatal depression and postnatal anxiety is preceding anxiety or depression,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>But it is also important to note that there is a difference between normal worry and anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnxiety differs in that it is often longer lasting and often has significant cognitive, emotional and even physical manifestations,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>Related Article<a href=\"https:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/lifestyle\/life-and-relationships\/raising-boys-isn-t-as-scary-as-you-think-these-experts-are-here-to-help-20260225-p5o5fu.html\" tabindex=\"-1\" class=\"sc-cba76dee-0 hdiTqm\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Dr Zac Seidler with his son, Artemis.\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dd68558fcdfc5dab53f60a30484edfe21c410e54.jpeg\"  class=\"sc-d34e428-1 ioInpc\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>It can also present differently in men and women, says Mathew Aquilina, a psychologist and clinical team manager at Gidget Foundation Australia.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWomen will generally have a bit more of an internalising presentation, such as a sense of overwhelm, where a man tends to be more irritable, withdraw socially or have problems in other contexts, like work.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>During the first three months after his son\u2019s birth, Oswood says he struggled at work and socially. His relationship with his partner broke down.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d forget to have showers, I\u2019d forget to do my groceries, and I\u2019d make up excuses not to go out with friends,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t until he confided in a friend that he sought professional help. \u201cHe was like, men talk about their feelings \u2013 boys don\u2019t. So, I spoke about it with a counsellor, and it really helped,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>Seeking support is critical, agree the experts, so too is starting conversations about mental health before trying to conceive.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEarly conversations help normalise mental health as part of routine reproductive care, not something addressed only in crisis,\u201d says Borninkhof. \u201cSupport can begin through a conversation with a GP visit, a psychologist, a fertility specialist or an obstetric provider.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. <a class=\"inline-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/newsletter-signup?newsletter=live-well&amp;utm_source=EditorialArticle&amp;utm_medium=ArticleText&amp;utm_campaign=Newsletters\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Get it in your inbox<\/a> every Monday.<\/p>\n<p>Save<\/p>\n<p class=\"sc-d1b14060-4 JmUoF\">You have reached your maximum number of saved items.<\/p>\n<p>Remove items from your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/goodfood\/saved\" class=\"sc-3f16ee48-12 sc-d1b14060-2 jyLmZI iQLtAb\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">saved list<\/a> to add more.<\/p>\n<p>From our partners<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"March 26, 2026 \u2014 5:00am Save You have reached your maximum number of saved items. Remove items from&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":347784,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[134,554,555,111,139,69],"class_list":["post-347783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-mental-health","tag-health","tag-mental-health","tag-mentalhealth","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=347783"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347783\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/347784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=347783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=347783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=347783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}