\u201cThis is the second room \u2026\u201d Chris says, flicking on a light switch that illuminates a bunk bed.<\/p>\n
Then he gets pointed. \u201cDo you feel like you\u2019re going to bump your head on that?\u201d<\/p>\n
And just like that, Sam has been summoned to the bunk beds. Sexy!<\/p>\n
\u201cIt looks like we are not sharing a bed,\u201d Sam tells us. \u201cYou could tell Chris didn\u2019t want to do that. So \u2026 I\u2019ll be in the spare room.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam, a grown man who stands over six feet tall, will need to be folded in half like Gumby to fit on this children\u2019s furniture.<\/p>\n
Producers should install bunk beds at Trash Tower.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s just one of many incidents Sam writes about in his journal, which has more or less turned into a Burn Book about Chris. It sounds harsh, but let\u2019s be honest: we all have a running document in the Notes app of our phones where we log the dates and times of our partner\u2019s annoying behaviour so we can refer to the incidents in a future fight.<\/p>\n
As the boys sit outside by the fire, Sam decides to fill the awkward silence by reciting passages directly from this Burn Book.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you accept full responsibility for your offensiveness and the aggression I felt from you last week? Do you realise my awkwardness and silence was a direct result of your behaviour? Do you see that breaking this behaviour means letting go of ego? Can you promise that if I bring up my feelings, you won\u2019t speak to me like that again?\u201d<\/p>\n
Chris is not amused. \u201cIt\u2019s not cute. I honestly felt like I was 15 and getting in trouble from a teacher. I\u2019m so f***ing over it.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a week of being iced out by Chris, Sam takes the hint: \u201cI think my feelings are pretty gone. I can\u2019t see this working.\u201d<\/p>\n
Chris shrugs and tries to hold in a relieved sigh. He doesn\u2019t want to be in this relationship. He doesn\u2019t even want Sam in his spare room bunk beds. So, he banishes his unwanted husband from the farm and tosses the Burn Book into the bonfire.<\/p>\n
Chris can\u2019t wait to bitch to Gia about this.<\/p>\n
Down in Adelaide, Alissa brings David to her hometown. And when they arrive at the airport, she casually points out a massive billboard that features \u2026 her face.<\/p>\n
David can\u2019t believe he\u2019s dating the Elle Macpherson of the City of Churches.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t realise how big of a deal Alissa was until I saw the massive poster with her face on it. I was stunned,\u201d David gushes. \u201cAre we gonna walk down the street and get mobbed by a group of teen girls wanting to get Alissa\u2019s autograph? I feel like I\u2019m with a celebrity in Adelaide.\u201d<\/p>\n
Suddenly, we question Alissa\u2019s true motivations for joining this experiment. Is she really here for love? Or is she just here to secure more glitzy modelling gigs for Adelaide car rental companies?<\/p>\n
The glitz and glamour of being Adelaide\u2019s biggest celebrity.<\/p>\n
Also in Adelaide? Alissa\u2019s arch nemesis, Bec. If producers don\u2019t trick them into going to the same RSL tavern for dinner tonight, it will be the biggest missed opportunity of the series. But we\u2019re left disappointed. We\u2019re not even treated to footage of Bec walking out of the Jetstar terminal and being confronted with Alissa\u2019s face on that giant Hertz billboard.<\/p>\n
Anyway, Bec brings Danny back to her home, which is located directly under a flight path. Their conversations keep getting interrupted by the roar of jet engines, which really sets the mood for romance.<\/p>\n
She brags to her family about how perfect everything is. \u201cI feel like this is it! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world!\u201d<\/p>\n
There\u2019s just one tiny problem: Danny still refuses to say he loves her.<\/p>\n
That evening, Bec stages the perfect romantic moment on the patio over wine. The lighting is soft. The atmosphere is intimate. The rumble of a Qantas Airbus A380 provides a sultry soundtrack. And Bec is ready to finally hear those three little words.<\/p>\n
Danny can sense where this is going. He tries to offer some soft words of reassurance and says he can see himself fitting in with Bec\u2019s family. This earnest confession makes him cringe internally. He tries to relieve the sappiness with some humour about Bec\u2019s cousin Danielle.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think, obviously, \u2018cause Danielle fancied me, she didn\u2019t wanna …\u201d<\/p>\n
Before he can finish the sentence, Bec begins death staring her husband, shocked and confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m jokin\u2019! I\u2019m jokin\u2019!\u201d Danny backtracks.<\/p>\n
They begin roaring at each other like the jet engines flying overhead.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is a serious moment!\u201d Bec rouses. \u201cYou should be able to say something nice and be genuine about it, and not then have to say, \u2018Oh, ya cousin wants to f*** me!\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
This crude twist on Danny\u2019s words leaves him mortified about how he\u2019s going to look on TV.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho\u2019s going to get crucified in the edit? Thanks, Bec. Really, thanks for that,\u201d he snaps.<\/p>\n
They begin whispering and bickering in hushed tones on the patio, thinking the camera crew won\u2019t hear them. Spoiler: they can.<\/p>\n
Um \u2026 yeah, hi \u2026 we can totally hear everything you\u2019re whispering from behind this shrub.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s more worried about how he\u2019s gonna look on camera now because he knows he made a mistake,\u201d Bec dobs.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a camera in my f***in\u2019 face and you\u2019re abusing me over a joke!\u201d Danny hisses. He lowers his voice to a mumble, hoping the mic doesn\u2019t pick it up. \u201cLet\u2019s talk about it later, let\u2019s talk about it later.\u201d<\/p>\n
But Bec doesn\u2019t want to do this later. She wants it done NOW.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou crack jokes when you shouldn\u2019t be!\u201d she fumes.<\/p>\n
Danny doesn\u2019t miss a beat.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd YOU haven\u2019t done that?\u201d he snaps sarcastically, calling out Bec\u2019s \u201cfingerbang\u201d remark that derailed the experiment for a week.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s furious that after standing by Bec through all her various controversies, she\u2019d turn around and villainise him like this.<\/p>\n
Bec then pulls her signature move \u2013 shooting up, stumbling off and yelling: \u201cI\u2019m done! I\u2019m done!\u201d<\/p>\n
Girl, we\u2019d sympathise but we can\u2019t hear anything you\u2019re saying over the roar of all those Qantas planes.<\/p>\n
Danny\u2019s left sitting alone on the patio, processing what just happened.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to be here with her right now. I feel very uncomfortable being here because I\u2019m in her realm, her house. I\u2019m here by myself,\u201d he confides in us.<\/p>\n
May we suggest flagging down one of the Qantas Airbus A380s and flying back to Trash Tower?<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd if she can just turn on me like that, I\u2019m not sure if I wanna move here,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
Right now, Danny would give anything for Chris\u2019s spare room bunk beds.<\/p>\n
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cThis is the second room \u2026\u201d Chris says, flicking on a light switch that illuminates a bunk bed.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":357203,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[2246,39725,14846,2681,188722,1975,85,9218,4548,188721,58250,48410,48803,156,21039,8272,1888,12238,83415,10109,27705,92823,9610,14909,111,139,69,8138,14447,6180,18916,22642,61,437,9863,14638,1316,1842,143302,188720],"class_list":["post-357202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-tv","tag-2246","tag-39725","tag-adelaide","tag-airport","tag-archnemesis","tag-at","tag-australia","tag-before","tag-billboard","tag-bookended","tag-cousin","tag-declares","tag-disaster","tag-entertainment","tag-episode","tag-f","tag-first","tag-greeted","tag-hometown","tag-husband","tag-instead","tag-loves","tag-married","tag-me","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-recap","tag-refuses","tag-shes","tag-sight","tag-snaps","tag-to","tag-tv","tag-visit","tag-wants","tag-when","tag-wife","tag-wifes","tag-ya"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=357202"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357202\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/357203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=357202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=357202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=357202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}