Monday<\/p>\n
Easter Monday and we\u2019re out in Camden, observing the tween girls\u2019 stations of the cross: namely, Pop Mart and Miniso, Chinese retailers selling toys, collectibles and \u201cblind boxes\u201d, for which the devotional parent is invited to pay 15 quid for their child to unwrap a surprise. (The surprise \u2013 can you guess? \u2013 is that it\u2019s not worth 15 quid.) Other purchasing options include the \u201cAction Figure Squid Game Set\u201d, which retails for \u2013 adjusts glasses \u2013 \u00a3250. A range of DC Comics collectible figures starting at \u00a332 a pop. And something called a \u201cCinnamoroll figurine\u201d, which is, inexplicably, \u00a395.<\/p>\n
We come to look not to buy, which seems to be the general position of everyone in the shop and may be why Pop Mart\u2019s share price has lately been tanking. Until this year, almost 40% of the company\u2019s revenue was generated by sales of the Labubu, the \u201cugly doll\u201d spiritual heir to the Cabbage Patch that sold for up to \u00a370 a unit and that tweens briefly went crazy for last summer. Since then, enthusiasm for Labubus has cooled and Pop Mart\u2019s share price has plunged 22%. As we speak, its top scientists are, presumably, working on the next hideous thing to replace it.<\/p>\n
One thing we don\u2019t find on Monday: any NeeDohs, the small, hard squishy that feels like a defective implant and, as the world\u2019s top fidget, is so popular there\u2019s a global shortage. (NeeDohs are favoured by parents, too, mainly because if you drop a NeeDoh on the carpet, it doesn\u2019t stick to the fibres like slime.)<\/p>\n
Anyway, thanks to the influencers, you can\u2019t lay your hands on a NeeDoh for love nor money and might have to default to \u201csquishy dumplings\u201d which come in a variety of colours, including the \u201cviral glitter dumpling\u201d which is \u201csecret\u201d and \u2013 I could go on in this vein forever until we run out of money, or sanity, or both.<\/p>\n
Tuesday<\/p>\n
There\u2019s been a lot of pre-press about The Devil Wears Prada 2, which suggests to me its makers are nervous. The trailers look \u2026 thin? On Tuesday there\u2019s a release of photos<\/a> featuring Anna Wintour posing with Meryl Streep for Vogue and reminding us how drastically times have changed. Twenty years ago, when the first movie came out, Wintour scarcely deigned to acknowledge it, but times being what they are and all that, now even the most hatchet-faced among us must engage in fun publicity for clicks.<\/p>\n Elsewhere in the rollout: here\u2019s Anne Hathaway on the cover of Harper\u2019s Bazaar, telling us<\/a> about her wobbly moment in what she describes as an unflattering swimsuit \u2013 as opposed to her \u201caspirational swimsuit\u201d \u2013 and acceptance of which she presents as a moment of wild \u201cwho cares?!\u201d abandon. Standing critically in front of the mirror, said Hathaway, \u201cI looked again and I said: \u2018You are 43,\u2019\u201d adding that she decided to appreciate what she saw \u201cinstead of criticising it\u201d. There followed in the piece a robust discussion about body dysmorphia and how even the tiniest Hollywood star is supported in the delusion that she\u2019ll never be thin enough. Just kidding, it was presented as an adorable piece of relatability for normie middle-aged women to love her for.<\/p>\n Wednesday<\/p>\n An annual rite up there with Christmas: the hottest day of the year so far when everyone in the realm is obliged by law to totally lose their minds. As temperatures drift towards 25C, marine commando-style we activate our response: go to the park, buy ice-cream, drop ice-cream, walk 4km to the pub while kids complain bitterly, wait 45 minutes for food because everyone has had the same idea, get the bus back while ignoring the person in our party who\u2019s pretending to limp, remark on the fact we\u2019ve all caught the sun and by the time we get home, find we\u2019re hungry again but there\u2019s no food in the house because it\u2019s the Easter holidays and I haven\u2019t done a shop for 10 days. Absolutely smashed it!<\/p>\n Thursday<\/p>\n Amanda Knox is in London this month to promote her new documentary, Mouth of the Wolf, in which she travels back to Italy to \u201cconfront\u201d Giuliano Mignini, the prosecutor who wrongfully convicted her and sent her to prison. The film comes out after two memoirs and a scripted series, the Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox<\/a>, last year\u2019s Netflix show dramatising her experiences, and has been co-produced with Knox\u2019s husband, Christopher Robinson, who also \u2013 words to make the heart sink \u2013 composed some original songs for the soundtrack (I\u2019m sure they\u2019re lovely). In her place, I imagine we\u2019d all do something similar, namely go over and over the ground of what happened until it began to make sense. For audiences, however, the latest return to Knox\u2019s story may test a market principle: that a vanishingly small number of subjects \u2013 the Titanic, the second world war \u2013 can withstand this much revisitation.<\/p>\n Friday<\/p>\n