As part of the Herald\u2019s new series, How we make it work, Tito and Fraser explain how they juggle work and family life – and why he proposed mid-performance. <\/p>\n
James Tito and Awhimai Fraser on their wedding day. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
James Tito, 38, actor and founding member of the Modern M\u0101ori Quartet<\/p>\n
I still remember the night I first met Awhi in Wellington back in 2015. I\u2019d just driven down from Auckland with the Modern M\u0101ori Quartet, and after a massive drive, we decided on a whim to pop into the opening night of a show.<\/p>\n
There, a mutual friend introduced us, and we found common interests in both being from Taup\u014d. I played it far too cool – to the point where she thought I wasn\u2019t interested – but I was absolutely smitten. <\/p>\n
I remember her long black hair, her curious eyes, and thinking, \u2018Damn, she\u2019s pretty\u2026 stay cool, bro\u2019.<\/p>\n
Not long after, her show The Beautiful Ones (I know, go figure), came to see ours. <\/p>\n
I\u2019d heard she was in the audience, so as soon as the curtain fell, in a hot mess, I ran to the bar, hoping she hadn\u2019t left. Luckily, she hadn\u2019t. We ended up at dinner with friends, exchanged numbers, stayed in touch, and eventually went on a real date. Life changed forever that moment.<\/p>\n
Fraser was the voice of Matangi in Moana 2. Pictured with Tito. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
I proposed during the Modern M\u0101ori Quartet\u2019s first national album release tour- right at the final show in Auckland, with both our families there. <\/p>\n
I added Cruise, a song we often sang together, into the set and asked her to marry me mid\u2011performance. Thank goodness she said \u201cyes\u201d.<\/p>\n
Becoming parents to our beautiful boy has been the greatest blessing and our biggest challenge. <\/p>\n
Our work lives are hectic. We\u2019re contractors, so our schedules are constantly shifting with filming, rehearsals and touring. The hardest thing is being apart for too long. We do everything we can to travel together as a wh\u0101nau, but when that doesn\u2019t work, we have to pivot fast and find another plan.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve learned each other\u2019s love languages, how to listen properly, how to drop whatever we\u2019re doing and be present. We\u2019re also incredibly fortunate to have wh\u0101nau who always step in when we need them. Their support keeps us grounded and grateful.<\/p>\n
Day\u2011to\u2011day life now is full in the best way. Our son brings mess, play, wonder and inspiration. Everything revolves around making sure he\u2019s cared for. <\/p>\n
We find little pockets of time for each other: a morning coffee, a quick walk before work and reading together once he\u2019s asleep. I wouldn\u2019t change any of it.<\/p>\n
I am constantly in awe of Awhi, her strength and resilience. W\u0101hine are powerful beyond measure.<\/p>\n
Our relationship is something I\u2019m proud of. I\u2019m excited for the adventures ahead: watching our boy grow, continuing to grow ourselves and seeing where life and our careers take us next.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t worry about the future and that\u2019s intentional because it takes you away from the present moment. My son constantly reminds me of that. Everything to him is new and exciting and I find that so calming and inspiring in a world that is desperately trying to get and keep your attention and take you away from those precious moments. <\/p>\n
I am a big believer in prayer and believe that everything happens for a reason, even if you don\u2019t understand the full picture.<\/p>\n
James Tito, Awhimai Fraser and their son. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
Awhimai Fraser, 30, singer, actor and star of \u2018&Juliet\u2019<\/p>\n
We both work in the arts and our lives have always been built around contracts, seasons, rehearsals and travel. <\/p>\n
But our greatest adventure has been becoming parents to our beautiful boy, Kupa Kauri, who\u2019s now 1. Suddenly, it wasn\u2019t just about us and our kaupapa, it was about Kupa and making sure he remained our priority while we continued doing what we love. <\/p>\n
The juggle is real. Whose contract runs when? Who is away? Who is home fulltime with our son? And how do we make sure the work fits around our wh\u0101nau, not the other way around? <\/p>\n
We\u2019re incredibly lucky with the support we have from our amazing wh\u0101nau, but it\u2019s still a moving puzzle we\u2019re constantly piecing together. <\/p>\n
What gets us through is communication, kindness, and knowing what matters. We make space for each other to fill our cups, whatever that looks like at the time. And every night, no matter how chaotic the day\u2019s been, we sit down with a cup of tea and reconnect. <\/p>\n
Daily life is beautifully ordinary. Mornings with our son, one of us off to work while the other treasures that one\u2011on\u2011one time with Kupa, then in the evenings it\u2019s wh\u0101nau dinner and bedtime together. <\/p>\n
Chores happen the same way – whoever can, does. It\u2019s never been something we\u2019ve divided or discussed. We\u2019re a team, always have been. <\/p>\n
Awhimai Fraser and James Tito. Photo \/ Supplied<\/p>\n
From our initial conversations, it was already clear we weren\u2019t interested in anything casual. We pursued each other with certainty, and we very quickly knew we were in it for life. <\/p>\n
We eventually married in Rarotonga, surrounded by those we love, and it was exactly what we wanted – intimate, warm and ours. <\/p>\n
James is the most incredible p\u0101p\u0101, partner, friend and human. He has the biggest heart and deeply cares about the world, which is one of the many reasons I think the world of him. <\/p>\n
Right now I\u2019m working on the musical & Juliet, and James is on a film, so we\u2019re excited for whatever this next season brings – hopefully more work we love, more wh\u0101nau memories and maybe even a trip overseas with our boy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"As part of the Herald\u2019s new series, How we make it work, Tito and Fraser explain how they…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":389391,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[5813,95,12889,201539,46520,31861,380,6095,156,21170,305,221,2454,702,14054,2882,5812,5338,41654,24350,130,2720,409,111,139,69,102260,201538,39023,12633,5433,131,165,8229,201540,3270,4576],"class_list":{"0":"post-389390","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-movies","8":"tag-acting","9":"tag-and","10":"tag-aotearoa","11":"tag-awhimai","12":"tag-balance","13":"tag-carving","14":"tag-decade","15":"tag-engaged","16":"tag-entertainment","17":"tag-fraser","18":"tag-have","19":"tag-how","20":"tag-industry","21":"tag-it","22":"tag-james","23":"tag-love","24":"tag-make","25":"tag-makes","26":"tag-moana","27":"tag-modern","28":"tag-more","29":"tag-mori","30":"tag-movies","31":"tag-new-zealand","32":"tag-newzealand","33":"tag-nz","34":"tag-paths","35":"tag-quartets","36":"tag-sense","37":"tag-spent","38":"tag-stage","39":"tag-than","40":"tag-their","41":"tag-they","42":"tag-tito","43":"tag-we","44":"tag-work"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/389390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=389390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/389390\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/389391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=389390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=389390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=389390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}