As the rain fell in Wellington, the heavy skies seemed to mimic dark days for National. But prime minister Christopher Luxon saw something different: a state of emergency was an opportunity to see a few rats drowned in the gutter.<\/p>\n
So it was all on as National MPs made their way to caucus on Tuesday, mostly failing to avoid the media pack waiting on the tiles. It\u2019s unlikely anyone, other than Luxon, was as stressed as junior whip Suze Redmayne, who dodged reporters and ran through a back corridor to get to the caucus room. Where was the party\u2019s chief whip Stuart Smith? He was at the centre of the storm, after being named in a NZ Herald story as having tried to track down Luxon to confront him with caucus\u2019 unhappiness at his leadership. He was also nowhere to be seen, apparently attending a \u201clongstanding personal appointment\u201d.<\/p>\n
For hours, the media circled outside, and went into a flurry when speaker Gerry Brownlee, who does not attend caucus and whose presence signalled a major development, appeared. There was a mad mob rush when Luxon left the meeting with finance minister Nicola Willis, while the rest of caucus remained behind closed doors.<\/p>\n
Willis and Luxon in parliament\u2019s Banquet Hall promising there\u2019s nothing to see here after he won the confidence vote.<\/p>\n
Then it was all on. Luxon emerged in the Banquet Hall to say he had moved a confidence vote and it had landed in his favour \u2013 he was still the prime minister. He refused to answer reporters\u2019 questions and strode off with the media pack squawking \u201cYou can\u2019t avoid us forever\u201d.<\/p>\n
The palaver was over in time for Luxon to resume his throne in the chambers for Tuesday\u2019s question time. A smug Chris Hipkins gave Luxon a few good kicks, like asking if the prime minister was confident he had the confidence of his caucus? And \u201cWhat\u2019s going to run out of fuel first: New Zealand or his leadership?\u201d<\/p>\n
Luxon smiled through the pain, but if you asked Chippy, transport minister Chris Bishop \u2013 who has denied coup rumours but is continually painted as a threat to Luxon\u2019s leadership \u2013 seemed a little too comfortable watching his leader\u2019s roasting. \u201cWhy do you look so happy today?\u201d Chris called to the other Chris across the aisle. \u201cWe\u2019re all happy,\u201d replied a very deadpan voice from the government benches.<\/p>\n
The awkwardness continued in Wednesday\u2019s question time, when NZ First leader Winston Peters hijacked patsy questions between Redmayne and trade minister Todd McClay over the India free trade agreement (FTA). It was the continuation of a theme. Earlier in the week, Peters had acted as coup kaum\u0101tua telling the media that he\u2019d read the tea leaves and Luxon\u2019s confidence vote would only lead to trouble for the National Party.<\/p>\n
Act MP Parmjeet Parmar tried to get her two cents\u2019 worth in, asking whether the FTA would lower the cost of butter chicken. It was a reference\u00a0 to a comment made by NZ First deputy leader Shane Jones, which sparked huge outrage and accusations of racism<\/a>. Minister McClay is \u201cresponsible for a lot of things, but I wouldn\u2019t want to eat his butter chicken,\u201d Brownlee replied. When Act Party leader David Seymour tried to push for McClay to answer it, he got a warning from another voice on the government benches: \u201cDon\u2019t try to curry favour.\u201d<\/p>\n The rest of Peters\u2019 unusually long questioning of McClay felt dire; like watching a couple on the verge of a bad breakup. It all stemmed, of course, from NZ First\u2019s refusal to back the FTA, forcing its coalition party, National, to beg for Labour to back it. \u201cMaybe you guys should just have a conversation with each other,\u201d Green MP Steve Abel called across the House. But McClay took it all in his stride: \u201cIt\u2019s an election year, there\u2019s always a bit of kicking and screaming in New Zealand.\u201d<\/p>\n But the standout moment of the session was still to come. Hipkins put his foot in his mouth when suggesting Willis \u201cmay need medical help\u201d after the finance minister made a particularly odd noise in the House. An uncomfortable chill fell over the House when she sneered back that she was \u201cin great health\u201d \u2013 after all, she just went for a run with Australia\u2019s Treasurer and the British Chancellor in Washington.<\/p>\nWinston Peters questions Todd McClay, sitting just a few seats away from him (right front row).<\/p>\n