Still, you are a man. There is a good chance that no matter how good the room is, you will still find a way to stuff it up. So here, for you, are my five golden rules of dating.<\/p>\n
1. Offer her the comfy seat<\/p>\n
More and more often in Auckland restaurants you\u2019ll be sitting at a table with a wooden chair on one side and a lush leather booth with cushions on the other. Historically there\u2019s been a belief that men should sit with their back to the wall, as a nod to our ancient job of looking out for threats. That\u2019s okay if the seating is equally comfortable but when there\u2019s an obvious disparity between the two spots on offer, the best one must go to her. <\/p>\n
Gilt. Photo \/ Babiche Martens<\/p>\n
2. When the waiter asks if you\u2019d like still or sparkling water, say to your date \u201cI\u2019m happy with tap, but would you like a bottle?\u201d <\/p>\n
Say it with genuine curiosity; don\u2019t say it like she\u2019d have to be some sort of weirdo diva to say yes. If she really loves bottled water, great. But most New Zealanders are happy with tap, they just get exceptionally awkward at this moment in the meal because they worry about looking cheap. But you aren\u2019t cheap, Otis, you\u2019re an environmentally conscious gentleman who doesn\u2019t judge ladies with a taste for Antipodes. <\/p>\n
The only thing better than being interesting, is being interested. You will be tempted, I\u2019m sure, to impress her with the many things you know about \u2026 Lord of the Rings. But you should instead focus on the epic fantasy trilogy she wants to talk about. Even better, ask about her experiences and opinions. \u201cWhere did you grow up?\u201d is a question of fact. \u201cIn what ways is Auckland different from your hometown?\u201d is a question of judgment. Show that you trust her judgment \u2013 after all, she\u2019s already demonstrated exquisite judgment deciding to go out to dinner with you. <\/p>\n
4. When she gets up to go to the bathroom, you should stand up too. <\/p>\n
This rule has a bit of an \u201cextra-for-experts\u201d feel, but I promise you it\u2019s worth it. Stand when she departs the table, and stand when she returns. You don\u2019t need to make a big fuss, you\u2019re just showing respect in a charmingly old-fashioned way. Still not sure? Otis, I\u2019ve been doing this for 25 years and it\u2019s only ever been received with delight. And actually, it has two great benefits: 1) she will think you\u2019re a gentleman; and 2) you\u2019ll make every other guy in the room look like a dirtbag. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll agree that\u2019s a fantastic result. <\/p>\n
5. When the waiter asks if you\u2019d like to see the dessert menu, answer \u201cyes\u201d without hesitation. <\/p>\n
It doesn\u2019t matter if you don\u2019t have a sweet tooth, or you\u2019re full, or you\u2019re hoping to skip this course and save some money. Looking at the menu doesn\u2019t commit you to anything, and by emphatically asking for it, you get to both demonstrate your decisiveness (attractive) and save your partner from feeling like she\u2019s being indulgent. Guys don\u2019t order food on behalf of their dates any more, and that\u2019s a good thing. But this isn\u2019t that. You\u2019re just a generous man, saying yes to the world. <\/p>\n
Good luck son, I\u2019ll be there with you! Not literally, that would be weird. <\/p>\n
What you\u2019ve asked, and what he\u2019s shared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"In his fortnightly advice column, Viva\u2019s resident Dining Out editor answers reader questions, sharing his expert recommendations and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":399244,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[1665,38864,9853,29804,1862,22503,2946,32896,156,46227,1601,1888,75512,221,2936,2537,77273,88474,111,139,5006,69,17146,42844,42775,10710,13660,61,810,75513],"class_list":{"0":"post-399243","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-answers","10":"tag-column","11":"tag-date","12":"tag-dating","13":"tag-dining","14":"tag-dinner","15":"tag-editor","16":"tag-entertainment","17":"tag-essential","18":"tag-expert","19":"tag-first","20":"tag-fortnightly","21":"tag-how","22":"tag-insider","23":"tag-jesse","24":"tag-mess","25":"tag-mulligans","26":"tag-new-zealand","27":"tag-newzealand","28":"tag-not","29":"tag-nz","30":"tag-questions","31":"tag-reader","32":"tag-recommendations","33":"tag-resident","34":"tag-sharing","35":"tag-to","36":"tag-up","37":"tag-vivas"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=399243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399243\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/399244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=399243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=399243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=399243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}