Public Music Blasting: Should You Speak Up?<\/p>\n
If you enjoy the column below, please subscribe to my newsletter<\/a>! You’ll get each new issue in your inbox for free. I love having new email friends. Let’s open your letters!<\/p>\n I\u2019m a chronically single, straight (sorry) man living in the Midwest. Now that I\u2019m in my 30s, I\u2019m realizing that the societal clock ticks faster here \u2014 everyone is seemingly married with kids already on the way. Due to my (apparently advanced) age and DINK aspirations, my dating pool is tiny.<\/p>\n Further complicating things: I\u2019m allergic to cats. This isn\u2019t a \u201cpop a Benadryl and suffer\u201d situation \u2014 I genuinely can\u2019t be around them. Whenever I see someone on dating apps with a cat, I swipe left. My friends think I\u2019m crazy for eliminating potential dates based on a pet. However, I think of pets as part of the family, and I\u2019d never want to force my date to choose between me and the cat.<\/p>\n What do you think? Should I take a second look at cat ladies?<\/p>\n There\u2019s a lot of life to live between matching with a woman on Hinge and moving in with her cat. So instead of assuming this will be an issue, why not put that chatbox to work and find out? Do it gently and tactfully, without rushing to your bottom line. \u201cCute cat! What\u2019s their name?\u201d is a solid way to start.<\/p>\n You might learn that his name is Freckles, and he\u2019s actually her mom\u2019s cat. Or you might learn that his name is Gumball, and he died last year. Or you might learn that his name is Disco, and he\u2019s extremely antisocial and will never come within 20 feet of a human. Etc. etc. etc.<\/p>\n And sure, you might learn that his name is Tortellini, and he\u2019s her best friend who snuggles in her bed every night along with her seven other cats. That would be a fair point at which to explain your severe allergy, and wish her well.<\/p>\n My point is that a photo can only tell you so much about your future together. And also that I\u2019m pretty good at naming cats.<\/p>\n Every time I go to the laundromat, someone is loudly watching videos or listening to music on their phone. I even hear people playing music out loud in grocery stores and walking in the park.<\/p>\n When I go to the laundromat, I bring quiet things to do like a crochet project or a book to read. In the park, I want to relax and enjoy the sunshine and quiet. The grocery store is already playing music; I don\u2019t want to hear more music on top of it.<\/p>\n To me, it seems inconsiderate, but it feels more rude to call people out on it. Am I just old and boring, or are they really out-of-pocket for playing videos and music aloud in public spaces?<\/p>\n This is my all-time biggest pet peeve. The other day I was writing from a coffee shop and the man next to me watched a solid 45 minutes of Gladiator II at full volume on his laptop. I kept hoping Paul Mescal would leap through the screen with his sword and impale him.<\/p>\n So here\u2019s a PSA for everyone reading this: When you are listening to music or watching videos in public, please wear headphones. And the same goes for your iPad-addicted kids in restaurants. No headphones? No Bluey!<\/p>\n As for whether it\u2019s worth confronting these offenders, I think it depends on how easily you could extricate yourself from the annoyance on your own. Like, Gladiator guy was driving me nuts, but it was easy enough to switch tables. But if I\u2019m stuck on a flight next to someone doing that, with no escape? I might say something \u2014 if I\u2019m feeling brave.<\/p>\n And to respond to your feeling that it would be \u201crude\u201d to speak up: it doesn\u2019t have to be! You can always ask nicely.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a drawing I did, inspired by the previous letter. This is what the world would look like if I were president:<\/p>\n Let’s open our last letter of the week…<\/p>\n