{"id":401414,"date":"2026-04-28T11:16:24","date_gmt":"2026-04-28T11:16:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/401414\/"},"modified":"2026-04-28T11:16:24","modified_gmt":"2026-04-28T11:16:24","slug":"simple-photography-lesson-shows-why-selfies-distort-how-you-really-look","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/401414\/","title":{"rendered":"Simple photography lesson shows why selfies distort how you really look"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some people enjoy small talk<\/a> and are naturally good at it. For others, it feels like mental and emotional torture. There are many reasons why people are nervous about entering social situations<\/a> where they have to make small talk<\/a>, such as a work event, a party where they don\u2019t know many people, or at school. Some people don\u2019t enjoy small talk because they get frustrated talking about seemingly unimportant topics.<\/p>\n

At the same time, others are shy and afraid they\u2019ll say the wrong thing or run out of topics of conversation<\/a>. Psychologists suggest those who are uncomfortable knowing what to say should use the FORD method of conversation starters. It\u2019s an acronym that\u2019s an easy way to remember four different topics of conversation that work with just about anyone.<\/p>\n

According to Nicole Arzt, M.S., L.M.F.T<\/a> at Social Self, the FORD acronym stands for<\/a> Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Here are some examples of questions that fall under each category.<\/p>\n

Family<\/p>\n

Just about everyone has a family, so it\u2019s a great way to ask someone to share some information about their personal lives without being too forward. Arzt suggests the following<\/a> questions when making small talk:<\/p>\n

\"family,You can ask people about their parents, kids, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, or just family in general. Photo credit: Canva<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you have any siblings?<\/p>\n

How did you two meet? (if you are meeting a couple for the first time)<\/p>\n

How old is your child?<\/p>\n

How is your____ (sister, brother, mother, etc.) doing since ____ (event that happened?)<\/p>\n

Occupation<\/p>\n

Just like a family, almost everyone has a job. Or, if they do not, that can be an interesting topic as well. Here are some starter questions you can ask someone about their job.<\/p>\n

\"jobs,You can take questions about someone\u2019s occupation beyond simply, Photo credit: Canva<\/a><\/p>\n

What do you do for a living?<\/p>\n

How do you like working at _____?<\/p>\n

What\u2019s your favorite part of your job?<\/p>\n

What made you interested in becoming a _____?<\/p>\n

Recreation<\/p>\n

You can learn a lot about a person after knowing how they spend their free time<\/a>. It\u2019s also an excellent way to determine if someone is like-minded and shares the same interests. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling.<\/p>\n

\"\"It is fun to talk about, well\u2026fun. Photo credit: Canva<\/a><\/p>\n

What do you like to do for fun?<\/p>\n

Have you watched (or read) ______(popular show\/book)?<\/p>\n

What are you up to this weekend?<\/p>\n

Dreams<\/p>\n

Learning someone\u2019s hope for the future can tell you much about who they are on a deeper level. They may have just told you about their current job or how they spend their time. But, ultimately, what do they wish to do with their lives<\/a>? Here\u2019s how to ask someone about their dreams.<\/p>\n

\"\"Everyone has hopes and dreams. Photo credit: Canva<\/a><\/p>\n

Where do you hope to be working in the next few years?<\/p>\n

Where would you like to travel?<\/p>\n

What\u2019s something you\u2019d like to try in the future?<\/p>\n

Would you ever consider trying _____ (particular hobby or activity)?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t just ask questions, share your own answers <\/p>\n

Arzt also notes that you shouldn\u2019t just be an interviewer. You have to talk about yourself, too. In other words, you need a mutual give-and-take. \u201cPay attention to someone else\u2019s answers and think about how you can draw from your own experience to connect,\u201d she wrote.<\/a> When you\u2019re feeling socially anxious, it can be hard to listen to the other person while also thinking about your own responses, so thinking of the FORD acronym for yourself and having something to share in each category ahead of time can be a way to avoid the dreaded awkward silence that sometimes happens during small talk.<\/p>\n

It can also be tricky to know how much you should be talking vs. how much you should be listening. If you\u2019re not sure how much to say during a conversation, follow the 43:57 rule<\/a>. A numbers guy at Gong.io<\/a> analyzed over 25,000 sales calls with AI and found the perfect speaking-to-listening ratio. Sales soared when the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened for 57%.<\/p>\n

Even though this insight is from business calls, it applies to everyday social interactions. It\u2019s really about listening and making the other person feel special. After all, who doesn\u2019t love feeling heard and appreciated?<\/p>\n

Small talk doesn\u2019t have to be torturous, even if it\u2019s something you don\u2019t look forward to. With a little preparation and some genuine curiosity, it might even become enjoyable as you make new connections with people.<\/p>\n

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Some people enjoy small talk and are naturally good at it. For others, it feels like mental and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":401415,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[196503,442,498,499,500,207078,71230,27901,501,54234,156,207079,4636,207080,111,139,207081,69,207082,207083,207084,207085,47620,1414,207086],"class_list":["post-401414","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-arts-and-design","tag-popular_source-pageview","tag-arts","tag-arts-and-design","tag-artsanddesign","tag-artsdesign","tag-big-nose","tag-body-dysmorphia","tag-body-image","tag-design","tag-dysmorphia","tag-entertainment","tag-evey-winters","tag-facebook","tag-focal-length","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nose-in-selfies","tag-nz","tag-photography-basics","tag-selfie-cameras","tag-selfie-phototgraphy","tag-selfie-tips","tag-selfies","tag-social-media","tag-take-a-good-selfie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401414","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=401414"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401414\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/401415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=401414"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=401414"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=401414"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}