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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tValtteri Bottas has opened up about his mental health. Image: XPB Images<\/p>\n
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tValtteri Bottas has opened up about his mental health. Image: XPB Images<\/p>\n
In a personal essay for The Players\u2019 Tribune titled Born Crazy, Bottas reflected on the obsessive mindset that carried him from rural Finland to the F1 grid, and the point where that same mentality pushed him too far.<\/p>\n
\u201cBack then, my entire identity was racing. I did not give a damn about anything else. It\u2019s not a problem until it\u2019s a problem,\u201d Bottas wrote.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd in 2014, it became a big problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
He detailed how a suggestion from Williams to lose five kilograms ahead of the 2014 season spiralled into extreme habits and restriction, with performance targets quickly overtaken by fixation.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you tell me five kilos in two months, my brain thinks, \u2018Five? Why not 10? We can make the car even quicker\u2019,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, now the silly Finnish guy has to get a little bit serious. I won\u2019t bore you, don\u2019t worry. I am not going to cry here. We don\u2019t have to play the dramatic music.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut yeah\u2026.. Basically, I started starving myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bottas described a period of extreme control over diet and training, which he later realised had pushed him into a dangerous physical and mental state.<\/p>\n
He admitted waking up in the night with a racing heart and believing he was functioning normally, despite what was happening to his body.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would wake up at 4 o\u2019clock in the morning on my own, no alarm. My heart would be beating out of my chest,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was like a drug addict. \u2018I\u2019ve never felt better!\u2019 Ha. Completely delusional.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Finn said he also began experiencing dizziness, palpitations and emotional detachment, though he continued to hide the severity of the situation from those around him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI kept everything from my team and even my teammates. Even my family didn\u2019t know,\u201d Bottas said.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the paddock, you can\u2019t show any weakness.\u201d<\/p>\n
A turning point came later in 2014, following the serious accident involving Jules Bianchi at Suzuka, which Bottas said contributed to a growing sense of emptiness and detachment from risk and reward.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t find joy in anything anymore,\u201d he wrote.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said, \u2018No. If I die, I die.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
The 36-year-old said he eventually sought help from a psychologist, describing the experience as both confronting and relieving after months of denial.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was a big relief, just to say it to somebody,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had run myself into the ground \u2013 mentally and physically.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bottas also reflected on his later years at Mercedes alongside Lewis Hamilton, where he often filled a supporting role during the team\u2019s title battles.<\/p>\n
He admitted the experience left him questioning his future in the sport.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo this day, I have complicated feelings about it,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe whole situation almost made me walk away from the sport.\u201d<\/p>\n
Despite that, Bottas says he eventually rediscovered balance, perspective and motivation, particularly after a winter walk in Finland that reshaped his mindset.<\/p>\n
\u201cI decided to only think about \u2018What\u2019s next?\u2019\u201d he wrote.<\/p>\n
Returning to the grid in 2026 with Cadillac after spending 2025 as Mercedes\u2019 test and reserve driver, Bottas starts his 250th Grand Prix in Miami this weekend and said he feels healthier and more fulfilled than at any point in his career.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am the happiest I\u2019ve ever been, and I am the best driver I\u2019ve ever been,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
He also reflected on returning to the grid this season with renewed appreciation.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can honestly say that coming back to Melbourne for the opening race this season was the most special moment of my entire career,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven more special than my first race. I think back then I was too nervous to even enjoy it.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt Melbourne this year, I was actually taking it all in during the anthems.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was looking at the other 21 drivers all lined up, and it felt like Christmas Eve.\u201d<\/p>\n
2026 F1 Miami Grand Prix \u2013 Schedule, how to watch, TV times & more<\/a><\/p>\n
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