As part of the Herald\u2019s new series, \u201cHow we make it work\u201d, Justine and Bill explain their instant bond, how their son healed them and the phone call that could have bankrupted them. <\/p>\n
Justine and Bill just celebrated their 24th wedding anniversary. <\/p>\n
Bill Shera, 52, electrical engineer <\/p>\n
Neither of us had much when we first met \u2013 I was working three jobs: Gardening during the day, delivering pizzas in the afternoon and then I DJ\u2019d at a bar at night. <\/p>\n
I\u2019d come home completely wired.<\/p>\n
I was introduced to this old chat room called Rob\u2019s Place, and it became part of how I relaxed after work.<\/p>\n
One night, someone new popped into the chat with a dramatic arrival, saying something about cartwheels. It was Justine. I jokingly rated it five and a half out of 10 \u2013 she took offence and fired back, and that chat just kept going. <\/p>\n
A couple of weeks later, she asked for my phone number and the next thing I knew, we were on the phone for eight hours. It was international landline rates \u2013 she was in New Zealand, I was in Canada, and this was back when you paid by the minute.<\/p>\n
A few hours in, I remember thinking this was completely bonkers and offered to split the bill. Luckily, her local phone company had a long-distance special on with a price cap, otherwise we\u2019d still be paying it off. <\/p>\n
Justine and Bill first met on an online chat room. <\/p>\n
Eventually, I realised I\u2019d developed feelings for this voice from the other side of the world, which was new territory for me. I\u2019d always kept a bit of emotional distance from people before that.<\/p>\n
When she said she was already heading to the USA to meet a friend, I jokingly suggested she hop up to Canada, fully expecting her to say no. When she said yes, I panicked.<\/p>\n
Meeting in person was awkward at the start, and we barely made eye contact. Neither of us was the other\u2019s \u201ctype\u201d. I\u2019d always been painfully skinny \u2013 the lightest guy on my rowing team, even lighter than the coxswain \u2013 big ears, big nose, not exactly confident. <\/p>\n
Justine had her own battles with body image from the opposite end of the spectrum. But because we\u2019d already built something real, without appearances first, something just clicked.<\/p>\n
Three months later, she moved in with me in a tiny one-bedroom apartment.<\/p>\n
Over the years, we\u2019ve been through illness, setbacks, uncertainty and change. But early on, we learned what really matters and what doesn\u2019t. <\/p>\n
One of our biggest struggles came when we were trying for years to have our son Aiden. Watching Justine go through IVF was one of the hardest things I\u2019ve experienced \u2013 though it was much harder on her. The drugs, the hormones, the emotional toll. She carried it physically and mentally, and all I could do was be there and hold her when she cried. That helplessness was brutal, but it also taught me how strong she is.<\/p>\n
But the thing about Justine is that she finds ways to bring light wherever she goes. She\u2019s playful, funny and she loves fiercely. She\u2019s an extraordinary mother and an even better partner. <\/p>\n
Justine, Bill and their son Aiden.<\/p>\n
Justine Shera, 48, content creator, founder of My Balance Project and travel guide<\/p>\n
I asked for Bill\u2019s number in the chatroom and rang him out of the blue, scaring him half to death, but we just talked and talked. From the very beginning, it was easy.<\/p>\n
He was gentle, kind, funny and smart. He actually paid attention and was very openly into me, and I wasn\u2019t used to that. But five months later, I made a detour from the US to Canada to meet him, fully convinced it wouldn\u2019t translate in real life. <\/p>\n
I also had huge physical insecurities and almost didn\u2019t even go because I didn\u2019t think he would be attracted to me or like me in person. But Bill said something that stuck: It wasn\u2019t up to me to decide how he\u2019d feel. So I went.<\/p>\n
When I met him in person, I panicked because he wasn\u2019t my type and I wasn\u2019t his. I basically thought, \u201cYeah, this is not happening\u201d. <\/p>\n
But then we went out to dinner and halfway through the night, I looked up at him, telling me a story and suddenly saw him properly. I remember thinking, \u201cHow did I not see how beautiful he is five minutes ago?\u201d And that was it, we fell for each other hard. <\/p>\n
Justine and Bill at their second wedding.<\/p>\n
When my Canadian visa was about to expire, and every other option fell through, we got married. No money. Thirty people. Cherry blossoms in a Japanese garden at Royal Roads University. Our rings cost less than $30, but it was perfect.<\/p>\n
Two years later, we had another wedding in New Zealand, so I could have a big wedding in a white dress. Then, on our 20th anniversary, we had a vow renewal in Canada. <\/p>\n
Deciding we wanted kids was the easy part \u2013 having them was anything but. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), and it took more than four years of fertility treatments before our son Aidan arrived. He\u2019s 15 now and the greatest gift of our lives. <\/p>\n
We tried, but we couldn\u2019t have a second child, and that grief was real, but eventually we made the decision to stop trying and felt really empowered that it was our call in the end. Instead, we chose presence and enjoying our little family of three.<\/p>\n
The couple renewed their vows for their 20th wedding anniversary, alongside son Aiden.<\/p>\n
There have been battles over the years, but the hardest came recently, when Bill got long Covid. <\/p>\n
He couldn\u2019t work, couldn\u2019t help much, couldn\u2019t even stand on the sidelines at Aidan\u2019s sports games \u2013 watching him lose that part of himself was devastating. <\/p>\n
I became the strong one and the provider, but it nearly broke us both at times. Then he relapsed, without reinfection, and we did it all again. But we got through it together. <\/p>\n
We work because we are a unit, we communicate, we give each other space when we need it and we don\u2019t say things we can\u2019t take back. He is also endlessly kind, deeply loyal and still adores me after all these years. <\/p>\n
When we got together, we used to sing the song from the movie The Wedding Singer, called I Wanna Grow Old With You. And that\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m looking forward to with Bill \u2013 growing old on this beautiful property we\u2019ve built and just being together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"As part of the Herald\u2019s new series, \u201cHow we make it work\u201d, Justine and Bill explain their instant…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":410698,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[95,1558,9218,16574,75031,25089,12448,8607,156,5420,221,702,2190,2882,92823,1362,5812,9610,131793,111,139,69,6029,384,81932,211297,123369,427,16715,13917,1529,14005,3270,160,4576,1530],"class_list":["post-410697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-and","tag-been","tag-before","tag-bill","tag-celebrations","tag-commitment","tag-couples","tag-covid","tag-entertainment","tag-hes","tag-how","tag-it","tag-long","tag-love","tag-loves","tag-made","tag-make","tag-married","tag-necessity","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-once","tag-people","tag-renew","tag-sake","tag-shera","tag-story","tag-taranaki","tag-telling","tag-three","tag-times","tag-we","tag-weddings","tag-work","tag-years"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/410697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=410697"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/410697\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/410698"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=410697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=410697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=410697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}