{"id":430111,"date":"2026-05-16T05:21:10","date_gmt":"2026-05-16T05:21:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/430111\/"},"modified":"2026-05-16T05:21:10","modified_gmt":"2026-05-16T05:21:10","slug":"auckland-survivor-zoe-vera-on-healing-from-assault-through-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/430111\/","title":{"rendered":"Auckland survivor Zo\u00eb Vera on healing from assault through music"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI looked like I was living this amazing life. But inside, I was dealing with constant nausea and flashbacks. It was always there, sitting at the back of my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

With police concerned her attacker might try to find her before the trial, they advised her to stay out of the country and return only once a court date was set.<\/p>\n

Heartbreakingly, the defendant repeatedly delayed proceedings and, after failing to attend his fourth scheduled court appearance, became a fugitive.<\/p>\n

\u201cI felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder,\u201d she recalls. \u201cIt was terrifying.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thankfully, Zo\u00eb remained persistent and last year he was finally convicted. Reading her victim impact statement in court, she detailed the toll the experience has taken.<\/p>\n

\u201cI almost didn\u2019t survive,\u201d she shared. \u201cThere were many times I didn\u2019t want to be here. It took me to the brink.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even now, the effect is ongoing \u2013 she experiences PTSD and periods of intense exhaustion<\/a> triggered by situations that take her back to that night. Simple things, like going into the city where it happened, can leave her depleted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll come home and feel like I\u2019ve run a marathon. I\u2019m on the couch for the rest of the day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Zo\u00ebZo\u00eb was sexually assaulted by a stranger at 22. Photo \/ Carmen Bird<\/p>\n

She\u2019s frank about how her body has carried the trauma in unexpected ways.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had health issues out of nowhere, including inflammation, gut problems, allergies, even anaphylaxis.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her severe PTSD was exacerbated by the court process. Given she was advised not to revisit her memories before the trial, Zo\u00eb says she could only work through the trauma of it all once the court case was over.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s meant returning to the one thing that\u2019s brought her comfort and healing \u2013 making music.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I\u2019ve noticed about trauma is it gets stuck in your nervous system,\u201d Zo\u00eb explains. \u201cWhen I play and sing, I can feel it moving through my body in a safe way. It brings me to tears sometimes, but afterwards, everything in my brain feels settled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI sleep better and I don\u2019t have as many nightmares. My therapist notices I\u2019m way more grounded when I\u2019m making music<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

The result of her healing is a five-track EP that traces different stages of her journey. Song 12 Feet Under, written after the guilty verdict, is about how Zo\u00eb won the trial, but her life was still a mess, while Dizzying explores the pressure she placed on herself to appear \u201cnormal\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"Zo\u00ebZo\u00eb recording Live Harder. Photo \/ Woman’s Day<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s the EP\u2019s title track that\u2019s her reclamation song. She explains, \u201cI\u2019ve been through hell and back, and I\u2019m not letting that be for nothing. I\u2019m going to live harder in spite of it and absolutely thrive!\u201d<\/p>\n

For her album art and our Woman\u2019s Day photoshoot, Zo\u00eb wears the same suit she wore to court as a way to restore her identity.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt felt like trauma armour at the time, but now I get to wear it outside the courtroom,\u201d she explains. \u201cI wear it while sharing my story \u2013 while he\u2019s locked away in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n

Until recently, Zo\u00eb worked as an ED nurse, a job she started during Covid at Middlemore Hospital.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cThey say if you can work at Middlemore, you can work anywhere in the world,\u201d she smiles. \u201cI love that with nursing, you often get the opportunity to help people on the worst day of their life. The best days are when I\u2019ve had a deep connection with a patient.\u201d<\/p>\n

Creating that bond is also her driving force for sharing music. She knows her \u201csad songs\u201d aren\u2019t for everyone but hopes they\u2019ll resonate with the people who need them.<\/p>\n

Zo\u00eb asserts, \u201cI don\u2019t need a sold-out tour. I used to google songs to find those that spoke to what I was going through just to feel understood. If my music helps one person feel less alone, that\u2019s worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n

To listen to Zo\u00eb\u2019s EP, go to zoeveramusic.com. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, call 0800 044 334, text 4334 or visit safetotalk.nz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cI looked like I was living this amazing life. But inside, I was dealing with constant nausea and…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":430112,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[57538,3378,17704,51,4057,275,12471,26034,299,15974,2024,71,1905,4507,21820,35090,4188,1073,157,65041,111,43,139,11550,11515,69,90,2833,254,1072,220348,14484,17435,210,19010,102,220347],"class_list":["post-430111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-new-zealand","tag-aftermath","tag-appeared","tag-assault","tag-auckland","tag-behind","tag-canada","tag-dealing","tag-department","tag-dream","tag-emergency","tag-europe","tag-from","tag-healing","tag-late","tag-lens","tag-lifechanging","tag-living","tag-media","tag-music","tag-musician","tag-new-zealand","tag-news","tag-newzealand","tag-nights","tag-nurse","tag-nz","tag-on","tag-ordeal","tag-photos","tag-social","tag-sundrenched","tag-survivor","tag-terrifying","tag-through","tag-vera","tag-with","tag-zo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/430111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=430111"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/430111\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/430112"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=430111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=430111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=430111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}