Dear Eric: I\u2019m a 61-year-old single man. I\u2019m disabled and, until their passing, lived with my parents. <\/p>\n
About 25 years ago, my parents and I became friendly with a woman \u2013 I\u2019ll call her \u201cM\u201d \u2013 and her husband, \u201cP\u201d through activities at our church.<\/p>\n
After my father passed away, M invited me to lunch. She knew I was alone and grieving and kindly offered me some company. Over time, we met for lunch several times \u2013 sometimes just the two of us, other times with another church member, and on a few occasions with our pastor. <\/p>\n
P was always aware of these meetings and even joined us when he could. There was never any secrecy, and I have remained on good terms with P throughout.<\/p>\n
The problem is that my girlfriend believes I had a romantic relationship with M. She has asked her friends for their opinion, and they agree with her. I\u2019ve tried to explain that we are only friends and assure her that there was never anything romantic between M and me. We had very limited contact before my father\u2019s passing and were never alone together until after his death. She regularly checks in on homebound members of the congregation, which is in keeping with her character and entirely voluntary role in the church community.<\/p>\n
My girlfriend insists I write to you to ask for your opinion. Do you think it\u2019s reasonable for her to believe I had a romantic relationship with M? Do you think most people would come to that conclusion?<\/p>\n
\u2013 Not Guilty<\/p>\n
Dear Not Guilty: From what I\u2019m reading, not only is she accusing you of having feelings for M, but also of having a romantic relationship with her. That\u2019s a really big step and it\u2019s a step that ignores a lot of the traditions involved in visiting members of a church community who are homebound or who are grieving. This is a fairly standard practice. One would hope that your girlfriend would see how helpful it was to have connection and support during this difficult time.<\/p>\n
I think that jealousy is perhaps playing too large a role. Your girlfriend should ask herself why she believes this to be true, despite your insistence to the contrary. And you should both discuss how you can move on, with trust and open communication. If that\u2019s not possible, it\u2019s hard to continue to build a relationship. If it didn\u2019t happen and you say it didn\u2019t happen, and she doesn\u2019t believe you, I\u2019m not sure you have a lot of options here.<\/p>\n
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.)<\/p>\n \u00a92025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC<\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n