By her mid-30s, she\u2019d built an impressive career in advertising and moved to Singapore with her husband Pete and their children, Isabella and Luca, to lead a major global brand and live the supposedly glamorous expat life.<\/p>\n
Yet behind the polished exterior, Fleur was exhausted by the corporate demands and trying to still be present for her children.<\/p>\n
Isabella, Pete, Fleur and Luca. Photo \/ NZ Woman’s Weekly<\/p>\n
\u201cI was in multiple countries every week, 24\/7 on a plane travelling between New York, London and Asia,\u201d she explains. \u201cThere was massive responsibility and pressure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Still, the formidable wahine (Ng\u0101ti Kauwhata and Ng\u0101ti Kuia) kept pushing forward, until a quiet comment from her then-5-year-old daughter stopped her in her tracks.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe looked up at me with total innocence and said, \u2018When can I have my mummy back?\u2019\u201d shares Fleur. \u201cThat was a bit of a gut punch.\u201d<\/p>\n
In an attempt to make family life more sustainable, Fleur relocated to Australia for a less demanding role. Even so, the toll of chronic stress was catching up with her. Near-constant headaches and fatigue became her normal, and after the marathon in France in 2009, her health collapsed completely.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt got to the point where I couldn\u2019t get through a sentence without coughing up blood,\u201d she recalls.<\/p>\n
Fleur was diagnosed with multi-organ stage-four sarcoidosis. The disease causes clumps of inflammatory cells to grow in various organs. For Fleur, it was in her lymph nodes, meaning it could appear anywhere in her body.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis was my 39th year and the doctors weren\u2019t sure I would make my 40th,\u201d shares Fleur.<\/p>\n
Most sarcoidosis patients respond well to treatment, but nothing seemed to work for Fleur. In total, she has had 23 rounds of chemotherapy \u2013 four to eight rounds are the standard \u2013 multiple surgeries, steroids and immunotherapy treatment<\/a>.<\/p>\n Unable to work for 18 months and with Pete at home looking after the kids, the couple could no longer afford the fancy cars or house repayments.<\/p>\n \u201cEverything we worked so hard for \u2013 my identity and role, our houses \u2013 was gone when I couldn\u2019t work,\u201d admits Fleur.<\/p>\n Determined to rebuild their life, Fleur returned to work while still undergoing treatment.<\/p>\n She says, \u201cI was kind of in denial for a few years, thinking I could overachieve my way out of this.\u201d<\/p>\n Then in 2015, Fleur learned the sarcoidosis had spread to her brain.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was then I really realised, if you don\u2019t have your health, you have nothing,\u201d she reflects. \u201cWe had lost everything and all I truly wanted was 24 hours in a well body.\u201d<\/p>\n The only option left was acceptance. Fleur realised, \u201cI cannot control whether I live or die… What I can choose is how I respond to my reality and how I want to show up for life despite it being out of my control.\u201d<\/p>\nFleur has had 23 rounds of chemotherapy, multiple surgeries, steroids and immunotherapy treatment. Photo \/ NZ Woman’s Weekly<\/p>\n