Fill out the questionnaire here<\/a>.<\/p>\nAge:\u00a042<\/p>\n
Gender:\u00a0Female<\/p>\n
Sexuality:\u00a0Straight<\/p>\n
Ethnicity:\u00a0NZ European<\/p>\n
Religion:\u00a0NA<\/p>\n
Occupation:\u00a0Baker<\/p>\n
Length of relationship:\u00a010 years<\/p>\n
Children:\u00a02<\/p>\n
How we met:\u00a0Online dating<\/p>\n
The best thing about my relationship:\u00a0We both crave alone time and support each other to get it.<\/p>\n
A problem we can\u2019t seem to resolve:\u00a0I get frustrated easily and my husband always thinks I\u2019m angry when I\u2019m really just frustrated. This leads to argument cycles that we always fall into.<\/p>\n
This is how we share\/separate our finances:\u00a0All of our income goes into the same account. We pay all house expenses out of that account, have a separate account for annual bills (insurance, rates etc). We put a set amount of money into a shared eftpos account for groceries\/general spending and pay our individual accounts the same allowance of \u201cfun money\u201d each week. My husband makes a LOT more money than me, but we both get the same amount of individual fun money to do whatever with, currently $50 each per week. The rest is all for the house.<\/p>\n
This is how we split chores and childcare:\u00a0I work part-time so I do most of the kid stuff \u2013 drop-offs, sports etc. My husband does it when I can\u2019t for whatever reason. I do all the cooking, he does all the dishes (we\u2019re both very happy with that arrangement). He does a lot of the housework in the weekends and I do most of the outside stuff.<\/p>\n
Our sex life in three words:\u00a0MIA currently.<\/p>\n
The thing that makes me a good partner:\u00a0I\u2019m as invested in making sure my husband gets alone time as I am for myself. I initiate most of our couch snugs.<\/p>\n
The thing I need to work on to be a better partner:\u00a0I need to find a way to not get instantly frustrated about things and\/or communicate it better.<\/p>\n
What I most appreciate in my partner:\u00a0His calm steadiness, he\u2019s mine and the kids\u2019 rock when everything feels like chaos.<\/p>\n
What I most resent in my relationship:\u00a0That my husband and I have very different desires in terms of adventure \u2013 he likes things to be easy and predictable, I\u2019m the opposite. But because easy and predictable is, by definition, easier, we default to that.<\/p>\n
The thing that has changed the most about my relationship over time:\u00a0The start of our relationship was all change, all the time (a couple of international moves, having kids, buying a house). We were constantly managing periods of change and stress. Now we\u2019re settled and in a regular routine which has changed our dynamic. We\u2019re amazing at facing hurdles together, supportive and on the same page. I think we\u2019re probably less awesome at routine life as a couple.<\/p>\n
It would surprise people to know this about my relationship:\u00a0We talk about EVERYTHING. My husband and I are quite different in appearance, attitude, outlook, but there\u2019s nothing we can\u2019t or won\u2019t talk about. For all our pointless squabbling, we\u2019re actually great at discussing stuff.<\/p>\n
Our last big fight was about:\u00a0Letting our oldest child get an objectively stupid haircut (husband was strongly anti \u2013 must save child from his own dumb mistakes; I was strongly pro \u2013 let the kid make his own dumb mistakes and live with the result).<\/p>\n
If I hadn\u2019t met my partner:\u00a0I\u2019d probably be with a much less sensible partner, stone broke from silly decisions, hopefully still with kids.<\/p>\n
I expect my relationship to last until:\u00a0We passed our 7-year \u201citch\u201d and it was a rough time. If we got through that, I can\u2019t imagine what we couldn\u2019t get through. So I think we\u2019re in this for forever.<\/p>\n
My relationship advice is:\u00a0So long as you agree on the big stuff like kids, schooling, where to live, etc \u2013 don\u2019t let arguing about the small pointless crap (laundry, dishwasher etc) be the thing that takes you down. Take a breath, realise it\u2019s small and stupid and let it go.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"A baker who gets frustrated easily appreciates the alone time in her 10-year relationship. Want to be part…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":464830,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[210684,111,43,139,69,2935],"class_list":["post-464829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-new-zealand","tag-love-actually-series","tag-new-zealand","tag-news","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-society"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/464829","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=464829"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/464829\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/464830"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=464829"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=464829"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=464829"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}