Heated Rivalry<\/a>, which makes me wonder if there\u2019s some horrifically cursed Sliding Doors alternative universe where Connor Storrie is on Bravo. But he\u2019s not just an actor (or auditioner); he lists off a whole litany of descriptors, though most are hobbies \u2014 actor, writer, director, ski instructor, volunteer firefighter, equestrian, motorcyclist, surfer, hockey player. Not since Sonja Morgan have we seen a multi-hyphenate runneth over in such a way.<\/p>\nThe big event of the episode that finally brings our cast together is Emira\u2019s country-themed birthday party (though it would have been \u201ccunt-ry\u201d had the Bravo censors not intervened), which everybody prepares for at one of two dueling pregames. Shai, the cast\u2019s emotional-support puppy, is donning a full horse costume as he pregames with new BFFs Hudson and Charlie (the latter of whom half-heartedly promises not to make a move on Ariana). Meanwhile, Brooks is dressed like Woody from Toy Story and comes alive like I\u2019ve never seen him before when he starts doing a country accent. \u201cMy voice kind of sounds less irritating in a Southern accent,\u201d he says, and while I love the classic Marks monotone, he ultimately is right. Speaking of Brooks, Ava might have the quote of the episode when she says (unprompted), \u201cI was watching Boss Baby last night and it kind of reminds me of Brooks, because Brooks is the cutest, sweetheart, angel baby but then he, like, runs a business.\u201d No notes.<\/p>\n
The party itself gets off to a strong start, with Georgia saying, \u201cI don\u2019t know how long I\u2019m gonna stay. I was literally fighting for my life on the toilet last night,\u201d as she approaches, citing bad salami. I\u2019ve said it before and I\u2019ll say it again: She is the best part of this show by miles. To make matters worse for poor Georgia, she\u2019s the first person there and is forced to make small talk with Emira\u2019s parents, which is particularly awkward given that the two of them are still beefing.<\/p>\n
But once the other guests finally arrive, Georgia wastes no time making good television. \u201cDo we take Hudson out of the group chat?\u201d she asks within seconds of greeting Ariana before admitting that she initially thought the breakup was just for the cameras. Good move, Georgia, you can\u2019t be accused of talking shit behind someone\u2019s back if you do it right to their face before they get the chance to confront you. Plus, once she saw that Ariana was moving, she figured the breakup was legit. No matter how much attention you crave for your reality show, nothing is ever worth moving in New York City.<\/p>\n
Though she gets that conversation out of the way early, Georgia can\u2019t return home to her toilet just yet. Emira pulls her aside to once again rehash their feud over her throwaway Ozempic comment last season. You\u2019ll recall that on their cast trip last year Emira ordered Red Robin (of all things) for herself ahead of their dinner because she was starving, so Georgia remarked that her Ozempic must be wearing off. It\u2019s truly one of the most benign comments that I\u2019ve ever seen dragged out into a story line on all of Bravo (up there with Pantygate), and Georgia yet again apologizes right away. It\u2019s actually such a nothingburger (pun intended) that Georgia suspects that that\u2019s not even what she\u2019s upset about. It turns out that Emira had been accusing Georgia of being overly flirtatious with her boyfriend, so perhaps that\u2019s what this is really about.<\/p>\n
But wait! How would Georgia have even caught wind of that? Well, she tells us it was through the gay grapevine, which she beautifully describes as such: \u201cThe gay grapevine is my network of queer people both domestically and internationally who are my eyes and ears and tell me things. I did not hear about it in this country. I heard about it from someone who does not live in this country. It\u2019s a lifelong commitment to establish a gay grapevine. The gay grapevine operates, like, above the CIA in terms of functionality. When you\u2019re in, you\u2019re in \u2026 forever. I do not reveal my sources within the gay grapevine, ever.\u201d These are their stories \u2026 dun-dun. In any case, Emira denies that she\u2019s pissed about that, and both grievances eventually get put to bed. As does Georgia.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Gia greets Charlie, and being the reality-TV pro she is, she tries to bring up his involvement with the crypto torture house, but he doesn\u2019t bite. \u201cMy freedom isn\u2019t worth an edit,\u201d he says in his confessional \u2014 which suggests he\u2019s guilty of something. All we knew was that he happened to be there, and now here he is talking about the possibility of getting locked up if he says too much? Suspect.<\/p>\n
And as if that exchange weren\u2019t awkward enough, Ariana and Hudson are interacting for the first time since their split, and it\u2019s agonizingly brutal. He makes some weird joke about having to refrain from grabbing her ass and then spends the rest of the night waiting for her like he works at the place. Plus, Ariana naturally doesn\u2019t like that he\u2019s hanging out with Charlie, and Georgia wisely points out that Charlie\u2019s probably just cozying up to him because he knows he has money. And Hudson\u2019s so butthurt over Ariana talking to Liam that he probably won\u2019t even notice if Charlie racks up a tab on his card.<\/p>\n
At the after-party, Ava confronts Gia for saying that she lied about Teresa unfollowing her on Instagram. Nonetheless, Gia maintains that her mother did no such thing, but why would she know that? Teresa seems like someone who\u2019d just be pressing buttons left and right in any case, so I tend to believe Ava. That being said, I also don\u2019t think Teresa is keeping up with the ins and outs of this show, nor is she adjusting her Instagram depending on how the feuds play out on any given week. But the funniest part of this whole conversation comes when Gia says that family is off limits. Gia Giudice. How soon we forget! The very reason she\u2019s on this show today is that family was very much on limits. We watched the Giudice-versus-Gorga war play out for years, so much so that interfamily drama was the central premise of the series. So for Gia to suddenly say that family is a no-go is completely comical \u2014 especially when her mother appeared on this very episode. If it were up to me, I\u2019d just let Ava deal with Teresa directly, and her inevitable funeral could be the series finale.<\/p>\n
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