Fill out the questionnaire here<\/a>.<\/p>\nAge:\u00a052<\/p>\n
Gender:\u00a0Female<\/p>\n
Sexuality:\u00a0Heterosexual<\/p>\n
Ethnicity:\u00a0P\u0101keh\u0101<\/p>\n
Religion:\u00a0None<\/p>\n
Occupation:\u00a0Policy manager<\/p>\n
Length of relationship:\u00a05.5 years<\/p>\n
Children:None (me); two (him)<\/p>\n
How we met:\u00a0Through work<\/p>\n
The best thing about my relationship:The way it constantly challenges me to look more broadly outside my own thoughts and personal needs.<\/p>\n
A problem we can\u2019t seem to resolve: Values. He is conservative and lacks empathy for people not the same as him (and is disinterested in changing that mindset).<\/p>\n
This is how we share\/separate our finances:Shared bills and holiday\/event savings; separate ownership of properties (we live together in mine; he pays no board but contributes labour\/DIY for renovations).<\/p>\n
This is how we split chores and childcare:\u00a0Fairly organic- he is now retired so has picked up the main laundry and gardening tasks and some cooking; I do the rubbish and bathroom cleaning. We both do the general cleaning. No childcare responsibilities but both look after the cat (feeding, toileting).<\/p>\n
Our sex life in three words:\u00a0Occasional, perfunctory, uninspired.<\/p>\n
The thing that makes me a good partner:\u00a0Acting on and providing things I know he likes (e.g., to do or eat or watch) to show my care for him.<\/p>\n
The thing I need to work on to be a better partner:\u00a0Trying to change his entrenched attitudes.<\/p>\n
What I most appreciate in my partner:\u00a0His care for his family, which is unwavering.<\/p>\n
What I most resent in my relationship:\u00a0That I see less of my old friends, particularly the single ones.<\/p>\n
The thing that has changed the most about my relationship over time:The reduced frequency of sex- too tired at night, different sleep schedules in the weekend, menopause\/loss of libido.<\/p>\n
It would surprise people to know this about my relationship: How often I query whether I\u2019d be better off single.<\/p>\n
Our last big fight was about:\u00a0Whether or not I had told him something important- I know I did but assess that he wasn\u2019t listening; he was certain I had never mentioned the matter and was misremembering; I accused him of gaslighting me; we fought. That I can\u2019t recall the actual issue today shows me that it was less about the topic and more about feeling heard\/valued (or not).<\/p>\n
If I hadn\u2019t met my partner:\u00a0I\u2019d still be happily single, having a fulfilled life with many wonderful friends and a strong career.<\/p>\n
I expect my relationship to last until:\u00a0One of us dies.<\/p>\n
My relationship advice is:Don\u2019t give up your autonomy for someone else\u2019s dreams; you have to build shared dreams and goals.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u2018He is conservative and lacks empathy for people not the same as him (and is disinterested in changing…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":533541,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[138,210684,111,139,69,2935],"class_list":["post-533540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-business","tag-business","tag-love-actually-series","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-society"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/533540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=533540"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/533540\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/533541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=533540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=533540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=533540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}