Fill out the questionnaire here<\/a>.<\/p>\nAge:\u00a043<\/p>\n
Gender: Male<\/p>\n
Sexuality:\u00a0Gay<\/p>\n
Ethnicity: P\u0101keh\u0101<\/p>\n
Religion:\u00a0None<\/p>\n
Occupation: Workplace relations and dispute resolution<\/p>\n
Length of relationship:\u00a013 years<\/p>\n
Children: None<\/p>\n
How we met: Via a dating app, but when we first met in real life I thought he was just the hottest guy I\u2019d ever laid eyes on. I still think that, 13 years later. We\u2019re older and chubbier and balder and middle-aged, but by Christ he\u2019s still absolutely gorgeous. Properly hot AF.<\/p>\n
The best thing about my relationship:\u00a0The stability and safety that comes with being married \u2013 it\u2019s quiet, predictable, there\u2019s always someone in my corner who\u2019ll support me and love me.<\/p>\n
A problem we can\u2019t seem to resolve: He doesn\u2019t fully trust me. I\u2019ve had issues in the past with frittering away money and drug use that I kept hidden. We also have an open relationship which requires us both sticking to agreed parameters. He knows I haven\u2019t been sticking to the rules and now he\u2019s understandably unsure whether he can trust me. If I can\u2019t be trusted with big things like using our money responsibly, not using Class A drugs, or using condoms when playing with other guys, how can I be trusted with little things?<\/p>\n
This is how we share\/separate our finances:\u00a0We have one joint account and one joint credit card \u2013 we don\u2019t have separate bank accounts otherwise.<\/p>\n
This is how we split chores and childcare:\u00a0He does about 70-80% of the chores \u2013 I\u2019m chronically lazy when it comes to housework, and will avoid cleaning almost until the mess becomes a risk to the health of the whole community.<\/p>\n
Our sex life in three words:\u00a0Satisfying, not raunchy.<\/p>\n
The thing that makes me a good partner:Despite my foibles and flaws (he once told me \u201cI love you, but I really don\u2019t like you some of the time\u201d), I\u2019m very loyal. When we argue, I never punch below the belt. I support his decisions and choices unconditionally, even if I secretly think they\u2019re silly.<\/p>\n
The thing I need to work on to be a better partner:\u00a0I struggle with reciprocity. He\u2019s always doing things for us (or just for me) spontaneously, without having to be asked. I invariably need to be asked. It\u2019s not that I\u2019m selfish \u2013 I just get caught up in my own mind, it\u2019s an ADD thing (I\u2019m diagnosed, taking Ritalin, the whole shebang).<\/p>\n
What I most appreciate in my partner:\u00a0His incredible patience, kindness, and enormous generosity of spirit. Nobody I know who knows him ever has a bad thing to say about him \u2013 he\u2019s one of those people who is just unambiguously nice.<\/p>\n
What I most resent in my relationship: Myself and how I think my inactions are probably making him feel.<\/p>\n
The thing that has changed the most about my relationship over time:\u00a0We\u2019ve grown deeper and deeper in love, but have become less romantic. We\u2019re very much a married couple, Netflix on the couch, prefer the quiet solitude of just being at home together rather than out at clubs or social events.<\/p>\n
It would surprise people to know this about my relationship:\u00a0It\u2019s an open relationship.<\/p>\n
Our last big fight was about:\u00a0My lack of follow-through. I\u2019m quick to promise, slow to deliver. It really pisses him off, but I can\u2019t seem to change my behaviour.<\/p>\n
If I hadn\u2019t met my partner:\u00a0I\u2019d probably be shacked up with someone else, I suspect.<\/p>\n
I expect my relationship to last until:Our deaths, actually. I might be fooling myself, but I reckon we\u2019ll make it.<\/p>\n
My relationship advice is:\u00a0Always be reciprocal. Never take them for granted. Let them know by your actions that you love them. Always be the first to apologise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u2018If I can\u2019t be trusted with big things like using our money responsibly, not using Class A drugs,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":556359,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[210684,111,43,139,69,2935],"class_list":["post-556358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-new-zealand","tag-love-actually-series","tag-new-zealand","tag-news","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-society"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/556358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=556358"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/556358\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/556359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=556358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=556358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=556358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}