Now joining this proud tradition is Dame Lynda Topp, whose appearance on Guy Mont Spelling Bee last week instantly earned her a spot on our Mount Rushmore of all-time panel show appearances. Introduced by host Guy Montgomery as \u201ca woman who loves spelling so much she has the extra letters DNZM,\u201d there is a poignant start to proceedings as it becomes clear the episode was filmed before the tragic death of Lynda\u2019s twin sister Jools in May<\/a> this year.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWe all know that my sister has had cancer for many years and she was going to be here today,\u201d Lynda tells the studio audience. \u201cUnfortunately she\u2019s doing her radiation \u2013 which is probably great for me, because she\u2019s a much better speller.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n But we needn\u2019t adjust our twin sets for fear of things getting too morose, because what Lynda unleashes over the next 43 minutes would have made her sister a proud camp leader indeed. While fellow panellists Madeleine Sami, Jeremy Corbett and Lesa Macleod-Whiting wonder if they should bow in her presence, Lynda explains why she\u2019s not worried about her spelling abilities at the age of 68: \u201cWe\u2019ve made a lot of money and we\u2019ve never had to spell anything.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Still, it\u2019s all gravy when it comes to spelling gravy. \u201cG-R-A-V-Y,\u201d Lynda says immediately with confidence, circumventing the usual bit of banter with the host that usually sees players ask for a wry definition or a language of origin. \u201cI think that is part of your plan: you talk a lot of shit to people before they get a chance to spell the word,\u201d she scolds Montgomery, before turning to her fellow contestants. \u201cGet the word out and then let him have his moment.\u201d<\/p>\n In a later round based on hobbies, Lynda again shows off an untouchable ability to subvert expectations, launching into a filibuster about the intricacies of crafting fishing flies. \u201cI am imitating insects, either a nymph and emerger, or a dry fly, that will trick a trout,\u201d she explains. \u201cYou are making it in the darkness of your room with the light and your magnifying glass \u2013 because it is a size 18 hook that I\u2019m using.\u201d \u201c\u2026Saves me asking later,\u201d says Montgomery.\u00a0<\/p>\n But wait: there\u2019s also prop comedy. Trying to get a better look at a cubist rendering of herself, Lynda swiftly tries on multiple pairs of glasses from thin air before settling on a pair of aviators. \u201cIt looks like Jools, it doesn\u2019t look like me!\u201d she exclaims, before spelling Picasso \u201cfrenetically\u201d (and incorrectly). The bad luck continues when she spells the wrong \u201ccue\u201d from the nightmare clue \u201cthat was my cue to join the back of the kyu queue.\u201d Her reaction? \u201cWhat a crock of shit.\u201d<\/p>\n This is not even the first time that Lynda Topp has called a spade a spade on TV this year. At the Aotearoa Music Awards, she unleashed a blistering and hilarious battle cry<\/a> for the arts. \u201cIf someone invades Aotearoa, what are we going to do?\u201d she said. \u201cYou put Alien Weaponry up the front and you put Dick Move beside them, and you put Hori Shaw on a horse in behind them and I\u2019m going to be at the top of the hill \u2013 ain\u2019t nobody going to get through us, baby!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\nMadeleine Sami, Jeremy Corbett, Dame Lynda Topp and Lesa MacLeod-Whiting on Guy Mont Spelling Bee. (Photo: ThreeNow)<\/p>\n
Guy Montgomery is powerless against the might of the Topp. (Photo: ThreeNow)<\/p>\n
TFW a crock of shit. (Photo: ThreeNow)<\/p>\n