{"id":583684,"date":"2026-08-29T04:48:13","date_gmt":"2026-08-29T04:48:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/583684\/"},"modified":"2026-08-29T04:48:13","modified_gmt":"2026-08-29T04:48:13","slug":"barry-soper-on-surviving-a-heart-attack-and-raising-toddlers-in-his-70s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/583684\/","title":{"rendered":"Barry Soper on surviving a heart attack and raising toddlers in his 70s"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a rainy Wednesday morning at home in Auckland and Soper is in full-on dad mode. He\u2019s dropped Iggy at kindy and collected the car from the mechanics with baby Mackay in tow, all while keeping half an ear on a developing political story as a leadership struggle unfolds in Parliament.<\/p>\n

\"AtAt 74, the dad of seven still marvels at the turn his life has taken. Photo \/ Babiche Martens<\/p>\n

His phone is running hot, but with the family\u2019s nanny away, he and Drive host Du Plessis-Allan, 42, are juggling work and childcare until she heads into the Newstalk ZB studio, and her mum arrives to help out. <\/p>\n

Soper, who works part-time as senior political commentator, will then make his own dash into the city, joining Du Plessis-Allan on air to dissect the day\u2019s drama before speaking to a room full of business leaders. But for now, politics has to wait. Little Mackay has appeared at her dad\u2019s side, her eyes fixed firmly on his ginger slice.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere we are, Bubba, you can have some,\u201d he says, pulling his beloved girl on to his knee.<\/p>\n

She looks out the window.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see tower!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d says Soper. \u201cThat\u2019s the Sky Tower.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"BarryBarry with Mackay. Photo \/ Babiche Martens<\/p>\n

Like her parents, Mackay is a big talker, and Soper reveals that she looks so much like Heather, she can even unlock her mum\u2019s phone with Face ID. Big brother Iggy \u201crules the roost\u201d says Soper. <\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a typical 4-year-old boy \u2013 he\u2019s boisterous and full-on, but he\u2019s great fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Soper is also a devoted dad to his five older children \u2013 Kate, 44, Hannah, 41, Alice, 37, Henry, 32, and Hugh, 30 \u2013 but he admits that fatherhood looked very different when they were growing up.<\/p>\n

His career as one of New Zealand\u2019s best-known political journalists<\/a> meant long hours and a lot of time away following prime ministers around the world. He wasn\u2019t at home as much as he should have been, admits Soper, whose recent memoir One Last Question, Prime Minister, is a bestseller. <\/p>\n

Now, as his career winds down and Du Plessis-Allan\u2019s continues to flourish, family life has taken on a different form, with Soper taking a very hands-on approach to parenting. The chance to be a different kind of dad has been a blessing, he says. <\/p>\n

From the moment Iggy was born, Soper has been what he calls the \u201cprimary caregiver\u201d for his little ones, with he and Du Plessis-Allan sharing the parenting load as a team.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s quite nice in my twilight years to have two little children who I\u2019m with a lot. It\u2019s the nice side of being a parent when you get older.<\/p>\n

\u201cI walk with Mackay in the pram every day for 6km, and people often stop and say, \u2018Oh, what a nice grandfather you are taking her out\u2019, and I just say, \u2018I\u2019m the dad, actually\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"BarryBarry Soper enjoys spending time with his two little children. Photo \/ Babiche Martens<\/p>\n

Parenthood this time around has given Soper a fresh perspective on life. So, too, has the health crisis he faced in 2023, when he nearly died after a heart attack and complications hospitalised him for months.<\/p>\n

\u201cI carked it, basically. I ended up having CPR on the floor,\u201d he says. \u201cAnd so yes, that does make me very aware of how lucky I am. For me to have two little kids at my age, it\u2019s a treasure in itself. And this time around, I\u2019m more placid, I\u2019m more understanding and more tolerant than I was.\u201d<\/p>\n

His older children are scattered around New Zealand and overseas and, while he is close to all of them, he admits he finds the distance difficult \u2013 particularly when it comes to his grandchildren \u2013 and Iggy and Mackay\u2019s nieces and nephews, Nia, 8, and Gethin, 5, and Daisy, 8, and Casper 3.<\/p>\n

\u201cI find it really hard not knowing my grandchildren as much as I should know them,\u201d he admits.<\/p>\n

When the family does come together, there is no shortage of laughter, joking, political debate and good-natured sparring. Soper is immensely proud of all his children and he lights up when talking about daughter Alice, who has forged her own career as a journalist and television presenter. Recently, Alice wrote what it\u2019s like growing up with one of New Zealand\u2019s most recognisable political commentators:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt means a lifetime of explaining that people aren\u2019t just limited to the context in which we encounter them. Knowing that he is hated by many people I like, loved by many I don\u2019t. That he has a public-facing job but at home he\u2019s ours. Barry is my dad. It\u2019s as simple and complicated as that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it good,\u201d says Soper. \u201cShe was born with opinions right from the beginning. We have totally different political opinions \u2013 all my kids do \u2013 but that\u2019s what makes things interesting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Soper\u2019s experience growing up has shaped the father he wanted to become. The Southland-raised former rugby player was extremely close to his mother Doreen, but had a more complicated and distant relationship with his father Len.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was very much of that generation that was never as loving as men are today. So I think they were always a bit afraid to show their emotions \u2013 they didn\u2019t know how to show love.\u201d<\/p>\n

When he became a father himself, Soper was determined to do things differently.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to be softer, I knew that. It was my mother who was my role model for parenting. She used to say, \u2018Your children are your souls, they\u2019re your soul living outside your body\u2019. And I think that\u2019s right. Because the love you have for your children never diminishes, no matter how old they are. You\u2019re always there for them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ultimately, he says, he wants only one thing for all his children.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt comes back to that one word \u2013 happiness. Of course your kids have their ups and downs, and their struggles, but ultimately, you just want them to be happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"BarryBarry Soper wouldn\u2019t trade this chapter of his life for anything. Photo \/ Babiche Martens<\/p>\n

While Barry and Heather\u2019s 30-year age gap<\/a> attracted plenty of attention when they got together almost 20 years ago, these days it is a non-event. Their friends span the generations and they are as comfortable together in either world.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt the start, I suppose it was slightly unusual, but we\u2019ve been together for almost 20 years now and the age gap just hasn\u2019t been an issue. Heather said to me early on that she was marrying me, not my birth certificate.\u201d<\/p>\n

Life is busy and finding time as a couple can be a challenge, but they make a point of catching up over dinner most nights. Summer holidays are spent at their Coromandel bach and they\u2019ve recently returned from a well-earned break in Fiji with the kids.<\/p>\n

\u201cLife is more formulaic than it was, but that\u2019s just part and parcel of having children,\u201d he says. \u201cWe\u2019re not going out and having a good knees-up like we used to, but our life is very fulfilling. And you get more than you give, in a way. You get a lot of love from kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

He has nothing but praise for Heather as a mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cTheir mum is everything to them,\u201d says Barry. \u201cAnd Heather is wonderful with them \u2013 she\u2019s very caring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When they do have time alone, conversation usually turns to their children \u2013 or politics. Their debates can be \u201cvociferous\u201d, and Barry is delighted to report that Du Plessis-Allan owed him four bottles of whiskey after losing another bet over the outcome of leadership squabbles in the National Party. \u201cShe\u2019s paid up!\u201d<\/p>\n

For all the demands of having young children in his 70s, Soper wouldn\u2019t trade this chapter of his life for anything. Yes, his back aches sometimes and he\u2019s exhausted at the end of the day. But he knows how lucky he is.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only thing that I would like now is time, so the longer I can last, the happier I\u2019ll be that I can see my kids developing.\u201d<\/p>\n

And on Father\u2019s Day, there\u2019s no doubt Soper\u2019s children will make a fuss. There will be cards and hugs from Iggy and Mackay, Heather will do something nice, and he\u2019ll get calls and messages from his older tribe. There won\u2019t be breakfast in bed, though.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It\u2019s a rainy Wednesday morning at home in Auckland and Soper is in full-on dad mode. He\u2019s dropped…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":583685,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[169808,287292,95,665,89,184,48378,1061,8608,156,22397,9872,2862,14648,293,88187,78,424,13840,6093,5829,13631,111,139,69,90,3766,5202,17145,26633,229960,5433,53883,1961,150065,152182,15409,1316],"class_list":["post-583684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-70s","tag-8pm","tag-and","tag-around","tag-attack","tag-barry","tag-bed","tag-children","tag-comes","tag-entertainment","tag-favourite","tag-finally","tag-heart","tag-hed","tag-his","tag-imagined","tag-in","tag-life","tag-like","tag-little","tag-many","tag-never","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-on","tag-parents","tag-part","tag-raising","tag-soper","tag-sopers","tag-stage","tag-surviving","tag-this","tag-toddlers","tag-treasures","tag-tucked","tag-when"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=583684"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583684\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/583685"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=583684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=583684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=583684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}