So, a lot of my articles are about the things we remember. And that\u2019s the perfect place to start this one.<\/p>\n
Next month is Alzheimer\u2019s Awareness Month, and I think that\u2019s important to remember.<\/p>\n
Now, I could spend the next thousand words telling you about Alzheimer\u2019s.<\/p>\n
I could tell you how many New Zealanders are living with dementia, how many families it affects and how desperately more research is needed.<\/p>\n
All of that matters. But that\u2019s not the story I want to tell.<\/p>\n
I want to tell you about my mum because my mum is battling Alzheimer\u2019s.<\/p>\n
So I wanted to share some stories about the mum I remember. Not the disease.<\/p>\n
But before we go any further, I should probably warn you about something.<\/p>\n
As you read this article, you\u2019ll notice that every … and then there\u2019s a word missing. Then a sentence.<\/p>\n
…<\/p>\n
That\u2019s deliberate.<\/p>\n
And as the article goes on, more words and sentences will disappear. Until eventually, there isn\u2019t enough left to remember the story.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s what Alzheimer\u2019s has done to my mum. First the occasional word went missing. Then sentences. Then the faces.<\/p>\n
And I saw this the last time I visited Mum.<\/p>\n
When I walked into her room, she had lost so many memories that she no longer remembered my face. But I remember the fear in her eyes because she thought a stranger was in her room.<\/p>\n
She saw a stranger, not the son she had changed nappies for. The son she had kissed better after grazed knees and sat listening when I was \u201cde-coupling\u201d with my girlfriend (obviously my decision). <\/p>\n
And that\u2019s the woman I want you to meet.<\/p>\n
Not the woman Alzheimer\u2019s has left behind.<\/p>\n
The mum I remember.<\/p>\n
So, let me tell you about my mum.<\/p>\n
I remember when I was in Form Three. Year Nine in new money.<\/p>\n
We\u2019d been told to paint a Hamilton landmark.<\/p>\n
Being a bit of a smart arse, I handed in a completely black page and said I\u2019d painted \u201cfog\u201d.<\/p>\n
I was told to paint a landmark.<\/p>\n
I handed in the same black page again. This time with the title: \u201cBridge Street Bridge in Fog\u201d.<\/p>\n
Apparently, that wasn\u2019t what the teacher meant either.<\/p>\n
I could see my sense of humour wasn\u2019t a winner, and it was time to retire from my brief career as an art class stand-up comedian.<\/p>\n
So, it was time to grab the paint brushes and paint that Hamilton icon, the Bridge Street Bridge.<\/p>\n
Hamilton can never be accused of overcomplicating things.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a bridge on a street \u2013 Bridge St Bridge. Job done.<\/p>\n
Now, I can be an honest critic here. The perspective was more Salvador Dali than geometry.<\/p>\n
The colours would\u2019ve challenged Jackson Pollock. And if you didn\u2019t already know it was a bridge, there was every chance you\u2019d assume it was a cry for help from Gustave Eiffel.<\/p>\n
It was less Eiffel, more eye-full.<\/p>\n
But I took it home, and as you might have guessed, my mum loved it.<\/p>\n
Not because it was any good.<\/p>\n
Because I\u2019d painted it.<\/p>\n
She then took it and had it professionally framed.<\/p>\n
Then she hung it on the wall at our house at 68 Nevada Rd, where every single visitor who walked through the front door was shown my masterpiece.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis was painted by my son.\u201d<\/p>\n
She said it with so much pride you\u2019d think she\u2019d just unveiled the Mona Lisa.<\/p>\n
Mum and Dad have moved a few times since leaving Nevada Rd, but every time they\u2019ve moved, the eye-full bridge has gone with them, hanging in hallways and on lounge walls.<\/p>\n
The painting is still in their home.<\/p>\n
But Mum is now in a care home, and the story has gone silent.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong, the story hasn\u2019t disappeared. It\u2019s still hanging there on the wall. It just doesn\u2019t get told any more.<\/p>\n
So, I suppose that\u2019s my job now.<\/p>\n
Another memory always makes me smile. And I have a feeling mums all over New Zealand will recognise this one.<\/p>\n
Now, as most parents of young men will know, boys have a very different definition of being organised.<\/p>\n
We\u2019d buy a decent stereo before we\u2019d buy towels or teaspoons.<\/p>\n
You know the sort. A component stereo with separate speakers, a graphic equaliser with more sliders than anyone knew what to do with, twin cassette decks and enough flashing lights to run a private dance party.<\/p>\n
So, when Mum and Dad came to visit my flat after I\u2019d proudly shown them the 400 preset graphic equaliser settings, I offered to make them a cup of tea.<\/p>\n
Then realised I didn\u2019t own a jug.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem,\u201d I thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll boil some water in a pot.\u201d<\/p>\n
That was going surprisingly well until I discovered we didn\u2019t have any tea bags either.<\/p>\n
Luckily, they had their tea black because the lack of milk would\u2019ve been the next problem.<\/p>\n
By the end of the afternoon, Mum had quietly disappeared to Briscoes.<\/p>\n
Hopefully there was a sale.<\/p>\n
She came back carrying a brand-new jug, and a few other things that suggested she\u2019d completely lost confidence in my ability to survive adulthood \u2013 hurtful but also accurate. <\/p>\n
I thought that was the end of the story.<\/p>\n
But a few weeks later I was visiting Mum and Dad in Tauranga.<\/p>\n
The eye-full bridge was hanging in the hall and, once again, I offered to make a cup of tea.<\/p>\n
I filled the jug, flicked the switch and noticed water dripping out the bottom.<\/p>\n
Even with my fairly basic understanding of electricity, I was pretty sure that wasn\u2019t ideal.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when it hit me.<\/p>\n
Luckily, not an electric shock, but the fact they hadn\u2019t replaced their jug.<\/p>\n
They\u2019d bought one for me and quietly kept using their old, broken one.<\/p>\n
That was Mum. Actually, that was Mum and Dad.<\/p>\n
They always put my sister and me ahead of themselves.<\/p>\n
I know plenty of Kiwi parents are exactly the same, but every time I make a cup of tea, I\u2019m reminded of that little act of kindness.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s strange the little things that we remember.<\/p>\n
Now, a reminder of what I said earlier. As this article goes on, the words slowly disappear, just as they have for Mum.<\/p>\n
I remember Mum always having jellybeans in … handbag.<\/p>\n
If my sister … had been … good, there was one … waiting for us.<\/p>\n
And……was…………….to let…………………………………………………………<\/p>\n
… <\/p>\n
………………………………………made a……………………………………………<\/p>\n
…<\/p>\n
I remember……………………………………………………………………………..<\/p>\n
………………………………………………..photos.<\/p>\n
I remember Mum……………………………………………………………………… <\/p>\n
…<\/p>\n
telling……………stories behind…………………………………………………….<\/p>\n
……………………………………………I remember………………………………..<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s what it\u2019s like watching someone with Alzheimer\u2019s.<\/p>\n
Their words disappear. Their memories disappear.<\/p>\n
So, let\u2019s remember.<\/p>\n
September is Alzheimer\u2019s Awareness Month.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"So, a lot of my articles are about the things we remember. And that\u2019s the perfect place to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":584301,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[1443,8347,95,4721,9218,147233,2841,17516,21935,49239,21934,6036,6093,2721,4977,111,43,139,69,15403,55401,70182,6100,6182,1361,223,64460,15411,4512,80],"class_list":["post-584300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-new-zealand","tag-about","tag-alzheimers","tag-and","tag-articles","tag-before","tag-bits","tag-country","tag-deserve","tag-dwight","tag-enjoy","tag-glenn","tag-know","tag-little","tag-mum","tag-my","tag-new-zealand","tag-news","tag-newzealand","tag-nz","tag-read","tag-remember","tag-remembering","tag-still","tag-stories","tag-that","tag-the","tag-writing","tag-youll","tag-youve","tag-zealand"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584300\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/584301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}