{"id":637645,"date":"2026-10-22T04:22:10","date_gmt":"2026-10-22T04:22:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/637645\/"},"modified":"2026-10-22T04:22:10","modified_gmt":"2026-10-22T04:22:10","slug":"its-certainly-not-weak-male-readers-on-footballer-james-mccleans-therapy-comments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/637645\/","title":{"rendered":"‘It\u2019s certainly not weak’: Male readers on footballer James McClean’s therapy comments"},"content":{"rendered":"

IRISH FOOTBALLER JAMES McClean\u2019s comments in a recent interview<\/a> about how, as a man, he views speaking to a therapist as a weakness have led to backlash on social media, think pieces in the media and an invitation from a mental health charity to meet him.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Amid the growing conversation, we asked our male readers to share their thoughts on McClean\u2019s comments.<\/p>\n

Some felt that the comments were ignorant and could be harmful to those who are struggling, while others felt the footballer was highlighting the existing stigma around male mental health and called for more understanding.<\/p>\n

Thank you to everyone who got in touch and shared their own experiences. Here\u2019s some of what you told us.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s training and it takes time\u2019<\/p>\n

A 45-year-old man said he was diagnosed with anorexia in 2022 and received treatment in St Patrick\u2019s Hospital.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hated myself my entire life and the source of my eating disorder was all connected to this,\u201d he said. \u201cI did compassion-focused therapy which ultimately changed everything. I began to like myself and found self-compassion.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man said he was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2 as a result of opening up.<\/p>\n

There is no shame in therapy. It\u2019s made me a stronger person.<\/p>\n

Sam (47) from Dublin said he has had almost 14 years of therapy which has helped him to navigate depression.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not \u2018a cure\u2019 on its own, but it\u2019s part of a powerful toolbox that helps me cope at the least and thrive at the best,\u201d he said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not for everyone, but it\u2019s certainly not weak.\u00a0If anything, it makes you stronger \u2013 you become better able to help yourself, your family and friends. It\u2019s training and it takes time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam said describing therapy or any other kind of mental health support as weak is not just untrue, but dangerous.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt cements a deadly stigma that we are all trying remove,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He added that everyone faces challenges at some point, whether they be physical or mental, and not addressing them only leads to more pain.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is help waiting, support ready, techniques you can learn to manage, thrive and become healthy again. Taking that on is not weakness, but strength.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018The mind can be a demon\u2019<\/p>\n

Colin (38) from Dublin, who has been attending therapy since he was 15, said the experience has changed his life.<\/p>\n

\u201cI went from being a helpless, depressed teenager who couldn\u2019t understand life, people and especially myself. I felt \u2018different\u2019 to others due to past experiences,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He compared therapy to a car service: the car may look okay, but it probably needs some work internally.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, I can function. I can live. I can accept myself for who I am and understand other people. I understand what irks me, what I\u2019m good at and what I need to work on. All the while it\u2019s brought me a sense of clarity, belonging and the ability to find my place in this world.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said McClean\u2019s comments remind him of how male mental health was treated years ago, like the idea that \u201cmen don\u2019t cry\u201d and should \u201ckeep it bottled up\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a shame and it\u2019s disempowering to men who are feeling vulnerable and don\u2019t know where to turn.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said he can\u2019t advocate for therapy enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe mind can be a demon and having a trained person navigate the journey with you is how we improve men\u2019s mental health and the stigma around it in this country.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018It is not for everyone\u2019<\/p>\n

Damien (44) from Dublin shared the view that McClean\u2019s comments reflect \u201cold-fashioned\u201d attitudes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom someone that had to deal with the ire of the British public for not wearing the poppy<\/a> and growing up in the environment that he did, you would think he would be the first person to want to talk to someone about his thoughts and feelings and the importance of it,\u201d Damien said.<\/p>\n

He said while men are more open to talking nowadays, McClean\u2019s comments could potentially set back young men who are struggling and who could benefit from talking.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He also said he had attended therapy for a number of years and that it had really helped him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will add that, yes, it is not for everyone, so even just talking to a loved one can help.\u201d<\/p>\n

A self-described middle-aged man said he has been attending therapy for six years and that the experience \u201chas helped my life immensely in many ways\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy life and relationships are much better because of it and I can manage my setbacks and big life events so much better than I did before. Therapy is an investment in myself.<\/p>\n

It takes great strength to go to therapy and to talk about your past and difficulties in your present.<\/p>\n

He said it was disappointing to hear a prominent person use such outdated language, and that calling people weak for getting help \u201conly stigmatises it and makes it more difficult to seek the help needed\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cLike the old analogy, if I have a physical ailment, I go to a doctor. Why wouldn\u2019t I go to a therapist for my mental health?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018A crock of lies\u2019<\/p>\n

Paul from Dublin said he did not hold any ill feelings towards McClean.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Paul has suffered from depression for decades and has recently returned to therapy \u201cafter several years in denial\u201d.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to judge others when you haven\u2019t walked in their shoes.<\/p>\n

\u201cJames has spent the majority of his professional career being spat at and abused by opposition supporters ignorant of his background, and has regularly faced death threats against him and his young family.\u201d<\/p>\n

Paul said McClean must have felt a sense of pride after leaving his former clubs in England and Wales and returning to his Derry roots with a healthy family \u201cafter what they\u2019ve endured\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He added that McClean \u201cwill always be a hero to Irish football fans\u201d and that he and his family do not deserve the backlash he has receied.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2018Crock of lies\u2019<\/p>\n

Some men who got in touch said that McClean\u2019s comments tallied with what society expects of men.<\/p>\n

A man who wished to remain anonymous told The Journal that while therapy is needed for some men and should not be admonished, he believes that for most men, \u201csociety and especially women want them as strong and not vulnerable, independent and capable\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He said he has been married for 34 years and has always had great communication with his wife, talking through \u201call sorts of things\u201d throughout that time.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMy girl is not interested in me being vulnerable. This talk of society and women supporting men being openly vulnerable is a crock of lies which most men are, thankfully, far too cute to be taken in by,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe know our place: protect, provide and persevere. All of the rest of it is rubbish talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another man who wanted to remain anonymous said he believes McClean is likely articulating what the vast majority of men in Ireland think about asking for help.<\/p>\n

If anything, he\u2019s highlighting that the stigma around reaching out is still very much alive.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf James had a football injury, he\u2019d no doubt get the help he needs. That he sees asking for help with his mental health as a weakness probably says more about the macho culture around football than it does about him.\u201d<\/p>\n

He also said that McClean has spent a large part of his career being abused by British football fans for his stance on wearing the poppy and has \u201cno doubt\u201d put up a lot of walls to protect himself, reflecting the title of his autobiography.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t walk a mile in James\u2019s shoes, but a little more understanding around his comments might help,\u201d he said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cIn an ideal world, we\u2019d all feel comfortable reaching out for help and support with our mental health and wellbeing. If anything, James\u2019s comments show that we\u2019re not there yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some of the contributions have been edited for clarity.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you have been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this article, you can reach out for support through the following helplines. These organisations also put people in touch with long-term supports:<\/p>\n

Samaritans<\/a> 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org<\/a>
\nText About It<\/a> \u2013 text HELLO to 50808 (mental health issues)
\nAware 1800 80 48 48 (depression, anxiety)
\nPieta House<\/a> 1800 247 247 or text HELP to 51444 (suicide, self-harm)
\nTeen-Line Ireland 1800 833 634 (for ages 13 to 19)
\nChildline 1800 66 66 66 (for under 18s)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"IRISH FOOTBALLER JAMES McClean\u2019s comments in a recent interview about how, as a man, he views speaking to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":637646,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[134,554,555,111,139,69],"class_list":["post-637645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-mental-health","tag-health","tag-mental-health","tag-mentalhealth","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/637645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=637645"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/637645\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/637646"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=637645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=637645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=637645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}