When Leighann McCready phoned her 19-year-old daughter, Jaysley Beck, on 15 December 2021, she got no reply, but brushed away her worries. \u201cJays always, always answered her phone, but it was early, eight in the morning,\u201d she says. Beck, an army soldier in the Royal Artillery, had been at a party the night before at her Wiltshire barracks. She was probably asleep.<\/p>\n
It was a busy time, the Christmas countdown. Soon, Beck was expected to be back home in Cumbria, where her parents \u2013 McCready and Anthony Beck \u2013 own a village pub. McCready had already bought matching Christmas pyjamas for Beck and her older sister Emilli to wear on the day.<\/p>\n
Beck had been preparing for the holidays, too. She had been Christmas shopping two days earlier, calling and consulting throughout the day with her mum, who was transferring the cash to cover it all. She\u2019d bought presents for herself and her sister: a Gucci bag, a belt and a purse. For her dad, she\u2019d bought tickets for a James Blunt concert for the two of them to attend together in February. At the end of the spree, Beck had messaged her mum: \u201cWe\u2019re two so lucky girls aren\u2019t we, Mum? Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you with all my heart!\u201d<\/p>\n
Jaysley Beck. Photograph: Family Handout\/PA<\/p>\n
Despite all this, as the hours passed that Tuesday in December, with still no word from Beck, McCready began to feel a deep foreboding. She knew that, in the preceding weeks, her daughter had been struggling through a strange and intense period of escalating harassment from her line manager. With this in mind, Emilli offered to call one of Beck\u2019s friends at the barracks, who assured them that Beck was probably fast asleep. \u201cHe said he was five minutes away and he\u2019d go and wake her,\u201d says McCready. \u201cThat five minutes just seemed like forever. I continued ringing Jays\u2019 phone \u2013 until somebody else answered it. The voice said: \u2018Hello, can I ask who I\u2019m speaking to?\u2019 And I just knew. They didn\u2019t even have to tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunner Beck had taken her life, alone in her bedroom. Her suicide threw a spotlight on the British army and the treatment, safety and protection of female recruits. For the last five years, ever since Beck\u2019s death, McCready has fought for answers and accountability. She has found some, but believes there is still far more to uncover. At every step \u2013 the service i<\/a>nqui<\/a>ry<\/a>, the inquest<\/a> and a subsequent police investigation \u2013 McCready has been in the public eye, talking to the press, advocating for her daughter. Now, she features in a Stacey Dooley documentary, Death in the Barracks, which follows the family\u2019s continued search for justice. She still can\u2019t quite believe that any of it is real.<\/p>\n Leighann McCready and a picture of her daughter, Jaysley Beck, at home in Oxen Park, Cumbria. Photograph: Fabio De Paola\/The Guardian<\/p>\n \u201cGrief is not what you see on TV, where you instantly fall to the floor and break down in tears,\u201d says McCready, who has worked for 30 years in the care sector, much of it as an end-of-life nurse. \u201cThe moment I found out, I automatically went from being a mum, a partner, a daughter, to quite literally feeling as if I was putting my uniform on. It was about protecting a family and guiding them. No matter how many interviews I do or how many times I see Jays\u2019 photo in the news, it doesn\u2019t register. That isn\u2019t my daughter \u2013 and this isn\u2019t my life. I call it my \u2018invisible uniform\u2019 and I have never taken it off.\u201d<\/p>\n Beck had joined the army at 16. \u201cAs a child, I used to call her my baby muck-magnet,\u201d says McCready. \u201cShe was a cheeky little chops \u2013 pulling out her pigtails, collecting snails. She loved helping her dad with DIY. You always knew when Jays was around.\u201d Aged 15, she\u2019d returned from a school careers day intent on joining the army. McCready wasn\u2019t keen. \u201cI hadn\u2019t expected that in a million years,\u201d she says. \u201cI thought it was a phase, but she was determined. She put her heart and soul into it. I remember her running round the village wearing backpacks weighted with bricks to build her strength up. She was only tiny \u2013 probably a size six in clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n After Beck\u2019s initial military training, her family attended her passing in parade at Army Foundation College Harrogate. \u201cIt was magical,\u201d says McCready. \u201cI was a proud mum.\u201d<\/p>\n Beck settled happily into army life \u2013 but in her final six months, that changed. In July 2021, at a training exercise, Beck was sexually assaulted by Michael Webber<\/a> (then 39, married, and a battery sergeant major). She escaped, then spent the night hiding in her car. When Beck reported the incident to senior officers, she was advised not to be \u201ca female troublemaker\u201d, and was urged to think of Webber\u2019s career, and his family. Eventually, after she reported it a second time, Webber was asked to write Beck a letter of apology. He was promoted shortly afterwards. This meant that, three months later, when her line manager, bombardier Ryan Mason, 32, began showing an obsessive interest in Beck, she had no faith in any complaints process, and nowhere to turn.<\/p>\n McCready had known all this as it happened. \u201cJays told me everything,\u201d she says. Her daughter had even shared Mason\u2019s messages on a family WhatsApp \u2013 he sent more than 4,600 in two months. The family had tried to advise and support her, but they were hundreds of miles away, and military protocol was a strange, sealed world. \u201cWhen she was assaulted by Michael Webber, she\u2019d said: \u2018Get off me, sir.\u2019\u201d says McCready. \u201cI remember my first reaction was: \u2018How, Jays, did you call him \u201csir\u201d?\u2019 Some of it was over my head.\u201d<\/p>\n McCready (second right) speaking to the media outside the Wiltshire and Swindon coroner\u2019s court in Salisbury, after the inquest. Photograph: Ben Whitley\/PA<\/p>\n In the days after Beck\u2019s death, as their home filled with military personnel, McCready became determined to bring all she knew to light. \u201cJays was not going to be another statistic. She was not another \u2018sudden passing\u2019,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cI was not a \u2018grieving mum\u2019. You have to be stronger than that,\u201d she continues. \u201cI had to keep going for Jays and also for Emilli. What would she do if I broke? She\u2019d crumble, she wouldn\u2019t be far behind me.\u201d Christmas was days away, so McCready asked Emilli how they should spend it. Should they even get a tree? \u201cEmilli said: \u2018Lets do the tree, and let\u2019s still go to Auntie\u2019s as planned for Christmas Day.\u2019 So that\u2019s what we did,\u201d says McCready. \u201cIt didn\u2019t feel right, but nothing would have felt right. I printed up a big picture of Jaysley and asked if I could put it in the tree so she\u2019d be watching.\u201d McCready didn\u2019t touch any alcohol \u2013 in fact, she hasn\u2019t had a drop since losing her daughter. \u201cI don\u2019t want alcohol to affect my emotions,\u201d she says. She doesn\u2019t watch TV either. \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s good for my mindset. I remember trying to settle down one night \u2013 I think it was [with] Gogglebox \u2013 and the first thing that was shown was a mortuary. I couldn\u2019t turn it off quick enough.\u201d<\/p>\n Her \u201cinvisible uniform\u201d, her years in end-of-life care, guided all her decisions in those first weeks. \u201cI knew I needed to be kind to my mind, to bubble-wrap it and protect it,\u201d she says. \u201cI chose not to see Jays after her passing and I don\u2019t regret it. I know from my work that it\u2019s just a shell left behind, and do I want to see my daughter\u2019s shell? Instead, I can close my eyes and she\u2019s that happy little girl \u2013 she\u2019s smiling, she\u2019s singing, she\u2019s running round the block with her backpack on. I didn\u2019t deal with the coroner \u2013 I didn\u2019t want to know details.\u201d<\/p>\n What she did want, instantly and urgently, was to visit Beck\u2019s room in Larkhill garrison. She had to push for access. \u201cI was told I was not allowed, so we had a meeting. I explained how much I needed this moment. I wanted to lie on my daughter\u2019s bed. I wanted to know the last bit of music she played \u2013 Jays loved music, we always shared songs and playlists. What was the last bit of laundry she put in her laundry basket? How do her clothes smell?\u201d<\/p>\n Beck (left) with her sister, Emilli, (centre) and McCready. Photograph: Family handout<\/p>\n The family were finally allowed entry on 28 December, although they were initially informed that they had to be accompanied. \u201cI said: \u2018Absolutely not.\u2019\u201d McCready had another motive, too. \u201cI needed to gather as much information to find out what happened,\u201d she says. \u201cI wanted the letter of apology from Michael Webber \u2013 I knew exactly where she\u2019d filed it. I wanted her smart watch and her laptop. I got all of them. I did want her phone, too \u2013 but Wiltshire police had already taken that.\u201d Months later, when the police had done nothing with the phone, McCready returned to Wiltshire to collect it, having argued successfully that she had paid for it \u2013 so it was in fact hers, not Beck\u2019s.<\/p>\n \u201cNot only had I put my invisible uniform on, in my mind, I was also becoming a detective,\u201d McCready says. \u201cI sat down with a roll of wallpaper and I did a timeline.\u201d She also found a lawyer through the Centre for Military Justice<\/a>. \u201cWe\u2019ve been on this journey together and we\u2019ve had to push for every single inquiry and investigation since.\u201d<\/p>\n There have been some answers. After the inquest, the coroner\u2019s summing-up report found Mason\u2019s \u201cintolerable harassment\u201d and \u201cthe daily barrage of messages, calls and face-to-face encounters\u201d to have been a significant factor in Beck\u2019s suicide. As her line manager, Beck found Mason possessive and manipulative, setting the rota so that they were always together. He said that he loved her, composed messages that ran to essays, called her at night and engaged in lengthy conversations, sometimes until 4am (when she had to be up at 6am).<\/p>\n On 7 December 2021 \u2013 a week before Beck\u2019s death \u2013 Mason and Beck had been staying in a hotel for a recruitment event when Beck left suddenly in the night, after calling a friend while in tears, who drove over and took her back to barracks. At the inquest, giving evidence, Mason said that he did not know the reason for Beck\u2019s sudden departure that night. (He left the army the day after the recruitment event.)<\/p>\n The summing-up also found that the earlier mishandling of Beck\u2019s sexual assault complaint against Webber had left her \u201cwith a feeling of injustice but, more importantly, [a loss of] faith in her ability to complain effectively\u201d. After the inquest, Webber was charged with sexual assault and, last October, pleaded guilty<\/a>. He was sentenced to six months.<\/p>\n \u2018There are still so many unanswered questions\u2019 \u2026 McCready at her home in Cumbria. Photograph: Fabio De Paola\/The Guardian<\/p>\n Other factors were identified as \u201csignificant\u201d by the coroner, foremost Beck\u2019s \u201cturmoil\u201d around her intimate relationships. In November 2021, she had separated from her long-term boyfriend \u2013 although the two remained friends. She\u2019d then embarked on an affair with a married sergeant. She was a 19-year-old girl, says McCready, making some mistakes and finding her way \u2013 and none of this explains why her daughter, who had never reported any mental health problems, should so suddenly end her life.<\/p>\n \u201cTruth be told, there are still so many unanswered questions,\u201d says McCready, \u201cbut I\u2019m trying not to let them into my head. It won\u2019t change anything for Jays. Instead, I\u2019m trying to focus on changing things for the next people.\u201d She welcomes MoD plans to tackle \u201cunacceptable behaviours<\/a>\u201d in the military, including a Violence Against Women and Girls taskforce and a tri-service team, covering the army, navy and RAF, which will take serious complaints out of the single chain of command.<\/p>\n \u2018For me, she\u2019s still here\u2019 \u2026 McCready and Beck. Photograph: Family handout<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s going in the right direction,\u201d she says, \u201cbut it\u2019s not enough. The reporting system has to be independent, separate from the army. I\u2019m still contacted daily by soldiers, veterans and their families who have their own stories of rape, assault, bullying, harassment \u2013 and it\u2019s not just females.\u201d She hopes the Dooley documentary will encourage more to come forward, and she\u2019s in the process of establishing a formal organisation, Jaysley\u2019s Voice, to advocate on their behalf.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, Christmas \u2013 that most difficult anniversary \u2013 is coming. This year, McCready and Anthony are flying out to Thailand to meet Emilli and her partner, who now live in Australia. \u201cWe\u2019ve promised each other that we\u2019ll always be together at Christmas,\u201d says McCready. \u201cEmilli went travelling 10 months after we lost Jaysley, so we\u2019ve met her in Vietnam, Singapore, Thailand, Bali. She keeps us busy, living the best life possible, which is exactly what Jays would have wanted for her. She\u2019d have wanted that for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n Sometimes, McCready wonders if she has left any time and space for grief. She has rarely cried, she says, and opted against counselling. Could it all come crashing down? \u201cI do ask: \u2018Is this it?\u2019\u201d she says. \u201cWhat am I waiting to feel like? Am I in denial?\u201d Usually, though, she prefers to believe that Jaysley is close by, holding her together, protecting her from the worst of it, still on guard. \u201cMaybe she\u2019s saying: \u2018This is how it will be for you, Mum, I\u2019m not going to let you be hurt,\u2019\u201d says McCready. \u201cFor me, she\u2019s still here.\u201d<\/p>\n Stacey Dooley: Death in the Barracks screens Tuesday 27 October at 9pm on BBC Three; 10.40pm on BBC One; and iPlayer<\/p>\n In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans<\/a> can be contacted on freephone 116 123. In the US, you can call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline<\/a> at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org<\/a>. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline<\/a> is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When Leighann McCready phoned her 19-year-old daughter, Jaysley Beck, on 15 December 2021, she got no reply, but…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":642640,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[156,111,139,69],"class_list":["post-642639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-entertainment","tag-entertainment","tag-new-zealand","tag-newzealand","tag-nz"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=642639"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642639\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/642640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=642639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=642639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=642639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}