{"id":652039,"date":"2026-11-05T17:42:22","date_gmt":"2026-11-05T17:42:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/652039\/"},"modified":"2026-11-05T17:42:22","modified_gmt":"2026-11-05T17:42:22","slug":"couldnt-believe-it-first-date-act-horrifies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/652039\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Couldn\u2019t believe it\u2019: First date act horrifies"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>First dates are awkward at the best of times.<\/p>\n<p>But there are a few key factors that can make them a little more pleasant \u2013 like, I don\u2019t know, a shred of basic human decency.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"poster-img\" src=\"https:\/\/content.api.news\/v3\/images\/bin\/907993406f0e229b08e76775539e779c\" data-sctrack=\"op-poster-img\" alt=\"Aussie woman flies to Bali with Bumble match just four days after meeting\" fetchpriority=\"high\"\/><\/p>\n<p>As a 32-year-old single woman braving the Sydney dating scene, my approach is pretty standard: treat my dates like I would anyone else \u2013 with respect, openness, kindness, and common courtesy.<\/p>\n<p>If a romantic spark develops, great. But at the very least, if you\u2019re sacrificing several hours of your evening to another person, you should both be able to walk away having enjoyed a positive human connection and perhaps even learned something new.<\/p>\n<p>Seems straightforward, right?<\/p>\n<p>Well, it should be. But sadly, if you\u2019re reading this as a single person dating in Australia, you\u2019ve probably had your fair share of rotten dating experiences.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s hardly breaking news that the current dating pool is frustratingly tough to navigate, with endless swipe culture, ghosting, and widespread nonchalance killing modern romance.<\/p>\n<p>But I think I underestimated just how dire it\u2019s become.<\/p>\n<p>After meeting a 38-year-old man for evening drinks this week at an inner city bar, everything seemed to be going genuinely well, with strong eye-contact, good conversation and even better wine.<\/p>\n<p>But when the bar called last drinks and the date came to an end, he abruptly pulled out his phone, ordered himself an Uber, and completely checked out.<\/p>\n<p>I stood there quietly for several moments before he eventually looked up, muttered: \u201cWell, see ya!\u201d while sheepishly evading eye contact.<\/p>\n<p>I was genuinely shocked. There was zero acknowledgment of the hours we had just spent opening up, sharing our lives, and connecting.<\/p>\n<p>Worse yet, he had absolutely no regard for how I was getting home safely.<\/p>\n<p>It was around 11pm, the street was dimly lit, and there was barely anyone around.<\/p>\n<p>As women, we are hardwired to ask our female friends how they\u2019re getting home after a night out, and request they text when they\u2019re home safe.<\/p>\n<p>It took a lot for me to eventually speak up and ask, \u201cAre you going to check how I\u2019m getting home?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He bluntly responded: \u201cWell, you live close by, so I just figured you knew the area well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In major metropolitan centres like Sydney and Melbourne, <a class=\"body-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.plan.org.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/sexism-in-the-city-young-women-speak-up-about-harassment-in-sydeny-2018.pdf#:~:text=is%20unfairly%20shifting%20the%20responsibility%20for%20safety,night%20because%20they%20don&#039;t%20believe%20it&#039;s%20safe.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">research shows <\/a>that nearly 90 per cent of young women feel unsafe walking alone after dark, and more than 60 per cent report experiencing some form of street harassment, following, or threatening behaviour in public spaces.<\/p>\n<p>Because of this, a staggering number of women actively change their behaviour at night \u2013 taking longer routes, clutching their keys, or keeping one headphone out just to navigate their own neighbourhoods.<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"body-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/serabozza\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Dating expert Sera Bozza <\/a>says it\u2019s bare minimum and \u201ccommon courtesy\u201d to ask how someone is getting home at the end of a date, especially late at night.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think it\u2019s chivalrous for a man to offer to wait with his date until her Uber arrives, or walk her somewhere she feels comfortable to get home,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI encourage all my male clients to do this. Even something as simple as \u2018Let me know when you get home safely\u2019 or a follow-up \u2018Home safe?\u2019 goes a long way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Beyond basic safety, Ms Bozza argues that the way a date ends is just as important as the beginning.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe goodbye matters. You can undo a lot of goodwill in the final 30 seconds,\u201d she explained. \u201cIt\u2019s a bit like going to the movies. You can enjoy the first 90 minutes, but if the ending is terrible, that\u2019s all you\u2019ll be talking about when you leave the cinema.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A simple \u2018Thanks so much for tonight, I enjoyed meeting you\u2019 are \u2018bare minimum\u2019 manners, even if the romantic chemistry wasn\u2019t there, she added.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t suddenly get to forget your manners because you\u2019ve decided there\u2019s no second date.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to letting someone down, the expert believes there\u2019s definitely a kind way to do it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d definitely discourage shutting down all communication the moment you decide there\u2019s no romantic connection, hoping they\u2019ll \u2018get the hint\u2019,\u201d Ms Bozza shared.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSuddenly giving one-word answers or avoiding eye contact is pretty unpleasant for the person on the receiving end. It\u2019s also a rather immature way of handling an adult interaction.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Instead, she recommends ending the evening with a smile and sending a polite message afterwards thanking them for their time, gently sharing that you didn\u2019t feel a romantic connection, and wishing them the best.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBeing honest about your feelings doesn\u2019t have to end in making someone feel like sh*t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"First dates are awkward at the best of times. But there are a few key factors that 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