For those unfamiliar with his game, Webb is kind-of like the uncle of the Labour Party. He\u2019s reliable for a dad joke, keeps a vast amount of knowledge stored in his noggin and is often sporting a red and black Swanndri jacket. Which means it\u2019s unsurprising that when he\u2019s back home in Christchurch with his 20-something aged children, Webb has found himself, on more than one occasion, explaining the latest in politics over a game of beer pong with their mates. Though he promises he\u2019s not doing any indoctrinating of any young minds, of course.<\/p>\n
Lately, the self-described socialist\u2019s head has been deep in the government\u2019s \u201cshitty\u201d and \u201cslightly depressing\u201d electoral bill, the validity of which he sees as being \u201cblasted\u201d by the electoral commission\u2019s admission that cutting short enrolment times won\u2019t actually speed up the final count<\/a>. Between that, some of the \u201cbullshit\u201d regulatory changes<\/a> undertaken by the Act Party and the knowledge that \u201cthis government is shit\u201d, there\u2019s a lot that goes on in parliament that can rile up a simple man from the south.<\/p>\n So, when throwing around a few expletives in the select committee<\/a> isn\u2019t enough to calm him down, you might find Webb in his office \u201cbanging away\u201d on his \u201cstress ukulele\u201d. As a member of Labour\u2019s policy council, Webb knows he\u2019s not the only one shaking his head at changes to the Jobseeker benefit<\/a> and the like \u2013 but he also knows the red team needs to get it right before making any policy promises ahead of next year\u2019s election. \u201cIt\u2019s always a danger in politics, because you\u2019re continually surrounded by people who tell you you\u2019re doing a good job, because that\u2019s how politics works, right?\u201d Webb says. \u201cWe\u2019ve got to present really complete and compelling \u2013 and I hope, transformative \u2013 policies, because I think everyone\u2019s just a bit tired of not seeing change.\u201d<\/p>\n After almost every question I pose to Webb, he asks me for my journalistic perspective, and what the future looks like when you\u2019re a young person taking up space in parliament, like Te P\u0101ti M\u0101ori\u2019s Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clark \u2013 though it pays to be careful when making comparisons. \u201cI mean, look at you: you\u2019re 25, only three years older than her, and you haven\u2019t been in Time magazine yet<\/a>,\u201d Webb reminds me. Yeah, cheers mate.<\/p>\n THE SPINOFF PUB Q+A<\/p>\n How much should a pint cost?<\/p>\n Look, I don\u2019t mind paying for quality. I think we paid about $12 for our pints here.<\/p>\n Do you have a karaoke go-to?<\/p>\n Can I say, the Labour Party conference is a really good reason not to do karaoke, because there are so many good singers \u2013 [former MP] Nanaia Mahuta and her partner could nail anything, they\u2019re amazing. Any drunk white guy tries to do \u2018Should I Stay or Should I Go\u2019 by The Clash and it never works out \u2026 But If I could do it well, I would sing Righteous Brothers\u2019 \u2018Unchained Melody\u2019.<\/p>\n Favourite place to get a drink in Aotearoa?<\/p>\n You know what I like in Christchurch? There\u2019s great little breweries. Two Thumbs is one of my favourites, they do a great English style Yorkshire pudding. They\u2019ve got a couple of locations in Christchurch, and at one of them, on a Sunday afternoon, they have a bit of live music \u2013 that and a good beer in a sunny little beer garden is a great way to wind down. But their pints, I\u2019m pretty sure, are more than $12. Pretty sure.<\/p>\n Which three MPs would be on your pub quiz team?<\/p>\n I\u2019d choose Kieran McAnulty [Labour], he\u2019s got an envious knowledge of sports. And I\u2019d choose Lan Pham [Greens] for science \u2013 she\u2019s very impressive, and she\u2019s from Christchurch. I wonder if I should make a coalition bid and name someone from New Zealand First. Do you know who\u2019s clever in New Zealand First? Because I don\u2019t. I hadn\u2019t really thought of the National Party \u2026 I mean, Chris Penk\u2019s very clever. He\u2019s got that history\/geography\/military blend \u2013 despite everything, I mean, he\u2019s got strange views. But maybe we\u2019d go for Chris Penk.<\/p>\n Which MP from across the aisle would you most like to share a drink with?<\/p>\n I\u2019d have a beer with Hana-Rawhiti, because I haven\u2019t had a good chat with her. Back in the day, before she was uber-famous, I stuck up for her in the House and she just gave me a little nod, like \u201cthank you for that, mate\u201d. I\u2019d be interested to see how she progresses in politics or elsewhere, because she\u2019s clearly got some talent.<\/p>\n Is there an alcohol-related law you would like to change?<\/p>\n Obviously, I don\u2019t object to drinking alcohol \u2013 I\u2019m happy to buy you another, or a top shelf cocktail \u2013 but alcohol is an issue in our society, and we need to think very carefully about how we can reduce the harm it causes. In Christchurch, we have inner city bars open until 3am, and I don\u2019t quite understand why \u2013 what\u2019s the balance of good times versus bad things? People make some pretty poor decisions when they\u2019ve been drinking since eight o\u2019clock until 3am.<\/p>\n Here you and I are, hopefully undamaged and untraumatised, but that\u2019s not the case for everyone. I\u2019m not going to say turn off the tap or anything \u2026 But I think communities should have a clear say about alcohol in their community. That\u2019s something the local alcohol plans were supposed to do, but unfortunately, they may have a limited scope as many things do.<\/p>\n What\u2019s a policy area we\u2019ve been nursing without finishing the glass?<\/p>\n Digital harm<\/a>: human nature is such a powerful thing, and we have naturally addictive personalities whether it comes to alcohol or cigarettes or scrolling Instagram. It is curated to get you, to play on the way your human mind works by getting you to scroll. And for our young people, we do need to do something \u2013 I don\u2019t think a ban will be effective, there will always be ways around it, and we need to do more than say \u201cyou can\u2019t look at it\u201d.<\/p>\n The real perpetrators are the social media companies, who know exactly what they\u2019re doing. They have all the tools to know of the nature of the content that\u2019s online, who\u2019s looking at it and what effects it\u2019s having. Whether it be body image stuff for young women, or toxic masculinity stuff for young men, and once you get into that vortex, it\u2019s hard to get out.<\/p>\n What qualities make a good drinking partner?<\/p>\n Affability: a good conversationalist, who knows how to listen as well.<\/p>\n Have you ever had a Schnapps election moment where you regretted your political instinct?<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been very lucky not to have had a political catastrophe in my short political career to date. But, in my first weeks in parliament, Jenna Lynch stopped me outside of the select committee, and said \u201cis it true that you eat kiwis<\/a>?\u201d And I was like, \u201cI\u2019m sorry?\u201d<\/p>\n It turned out it was from a regional TV show where we were talking about conservation, and why we protect kiwis. And I said something along the lines of, well, it\u2019s because they\u2019re rare \u2013 if we had as many kiwis as chickens, we\u2019d be eating them. So on the six o\u2019clock news that night, they played me saying we should be eating kiwis. And then me, blinking in front of the camera.<\/p>\nDuncan Webb in the hallway between the Labour Party offices, because I forgot to take a photo at Huxley\u2019s.<\/p>\n
Duncan Webb during question time in the House.<\/p>\n