{"id":77048,"date":"2025-10-14T04:13:09","date_gmt":"2025-10-14T04:13:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/77048\/"},"modified":"2025-10-14T04:13:09","modified_gmt":"2025-10-14T04:13:09","slug":"real-life-nadia-lim-on-reaching-lowest-point-in-my-life-after-breaking-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/nz\/77048\/","title":{"rendered":"Real Life: Nadia Lim on reaching \u2018lowest point in my life\u2019 after breaking back"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u201cIt was very, very tricky because I couldn\u2019t get up to get him, so I really had to rely on anyone and everyone who came by and popped into the house to help me. <\/p>\n
\u201cThe neighbours were incredible \u2013 they all came around and helped to get him for me and cooked meals and all sorts.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lim told Real Life that by March last year, her tank had simply run dry.<\/p>\n
The pressures of running her Otago farm, keeping her marriage and family together, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance culminated in \u201cprobably my lowest point I\u2019ve ever reached in my life\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone\u2019s got to go through that at some stage, and it just happened to be the perfect storm. Having kids does take a big toll on your reserves. <\/p>\n
\u201cI was probably quite depleted and never had much of a chance to catch up,\u201d she went on.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd then when it rains, it pours. I had three kids, including a newborn who was still feeding; we were right in the thick of introducing new things on the farm, trying out new processes and systems and types of farming, and taking on quite big risks in that area; and I had my own work going on and my own pressures.\u201d<\/p>\n
Added to that was a rough patch in her marriage to husband Carlos Bagrie, her My Food Bag co-founder and partner of more than two decades.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat probably naturally happens in a lot of relationships is, when you\u2019ve been together for that long, you start taking each other for granted. <\/p>\n
\u201cAfter 19 years of being together, I think we both agree that we were taking each other for granted,\u201d Lim told Cowan.<\/p>\n
\u201cLuckily we realised and really worked hard to become self-aware of it, and then to take some action to not take each other for granted. <\/p>\n
\u201cAnd we\u2019re lucky \u2013 we made it through a very rough, tough patch, but came out the other end much stronger than what we were before.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nadia Lim is touring New Zealand to promote her 13th cookbook, Nadia\u2019s Farm Kitchen.<\/p>\n
Lim has always taken pride in her mental toughness \u2013 \u201cI\u2019ve always kind of believed resilience was my middle name\u201d \u2013 which was noted by Masterchef judge and fellow celebrity cook Josh Emmett when she won the competition in 2011.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe said, \u2018You\u2019re really soft on the outside, but inside you\u2019re as tough as iron, I\u2019ve never seen anything so tough.\u2019 I\u2019ve always kind of believed that I was really, really tough.<\/p>\n
But, she says, \u201ceveryone\u2019s got to be humbled at some stage in their life\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I found myself on the kitchen floor crying and telling myself I couldn\u2019t do it, couldn\u2019t face everything, it was very humbling to realise that I wasn\u2019t as tough as what I\u2019d believed for the last 38, 39 years.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a great lesson to learn: no one\u2019s invincible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lim says she started to build back her mental fitness while Bagrie was away on an international farming scholarship for several months, and she was at home looking after the farm and the three children.<\/p>\n
The first step was to recognise that \u201cI\u2019d been a bit of a martyr\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cI always kind of thought, \u2018I can never rest, I\u2019ve got to keep going, I\u2019ve got to keep going, I\u2019ve got to keep going\u2019. But that was a bit silly, really; everyone deserves a break,\u201d she told Real Life.<\/p>\n
A big part of that mindset is inherited from her father, she now realises.<\/p>\n
Lim\u2019s father grew up in Malaysia in abject poverty, and as a result wouldn\u2019t let any of his children leave a scrap of food on their plates because it would remind him of what his mother went through during the rice famine in China.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe tells us stories of having to share one can of beans between 10 of them,\u201d Lim said.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was a very hard worker and did really well at school, and that was how he got out of poverty. He managed to get a scholarship to come to New Zealand and study engineering. <\/p>\n
\u201cBut to make that happen, he had to work so hard; he was working several jobs while at university to get through.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo that work ethic has always been drilled into me from a very young age, same as my brother and sister, and I think there was this belief that you have to earn your rest; that you need to work and work and keep going to prove that you deserve a rest. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not a great thing to believe in.\u201d<\/p>\n
What Lim\u2019s learnt, she says, is that \u201cfor me to do my best work and to be the best friend and mother and wife and daughter and sister, I do need to have rest for myself \u2013 and I shouldn\u2019t feel like that\u2019s selfish\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sounds silly and obvious, but sometimes, when it\u2019s been so ingrained from your childhood, it\u2019s hard to unpick.\u201d<\/p>\n
With Bagrie on his farming scholarship, he and Lim also had space to reset and work on their marriage in a different way.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause he was away mainly in Brazil, I think it\u2019s like an eight-hour difference, so there was never a very good time to call \u2026 we actually had to take to writing to each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel like that was one of the keys to saving us. Written communication is really handy, because you can have time to think about what you\u2019re saying [and] you\u2019re not reacting in the heat of the moment. If we had talked on the phone, we probably would have exploded at each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo it was a much better form of communication for us to get everything out there. It really worked and I\u2019m very proud of us both because we worked through stuff and we\u2019ve come out the other side even stronger than we were before.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lim\u2019s new cookbook Nadia\u2019s Farm Kitchen was released on October 3. <\/p>\n
Her book tour started on Saturday in Wellington and will continue over the next few weeks, finishing in Cromwell on November 6.<\/p>\n