Sometimes, the stories we carry about who we are, how much we deserve, or what’s possible for us weren’t actually written by us. From a young age, we each start developing an internal narrative about who we are and where we fit in the world.

Maybe it was a parent who said you were “too much” or “not enough.”
Maybe it was a teacher whose comment stayed with you. Or maybe it’s the cultural scripts we absorb about success, beauty, or worth.

Over time, we can begin to internalize these narratives as the truth, even if they’re not. And if we hold tight to these stories of shame, of not being worthy, of not being enough, of feeling like an imposter, they can keep us stuck. They can hold us back from living big, beautiful lives.

Redefining Your Inner Narrative

Recently, on my podcast Resiliency Redefined, I interviewed Petra Kolber. Petra is the author of The Perfection Detox, a keynote speaker, and a Positive Psychology Performance Coach. She has touched thousands across the globe through her transformative work in wellness, movement, mindset, and more. She is a true student of life and a reminder that it’s never too late to grow, follow your curiosities, or love the life you’re creating.

She shared how her own upbringing was shaped by cultural narratives that discouraged dreaming big or standing out. Messages like “Don’t dream too big” and “Your success takes away from mine” taught her to keep her ambition and pride quiet.

But one small encounter began to shift her perspective: hearing someone say, “Go for your dreams.” That opened her to a new kind of energy and belief that anything is possible. While she continued to navigate the tension between the new and old narratives, it helped her begin to unravel the limiting stories she carried and gave her permission to believe that striving for more, celebrating accomplishments, and dreaming boldly were healthy.

Our conversation left me reflecting on some powerful takeaways about what it means to build a meaningful and joyful life. With small shifts, self-compassion, and the courage to step towards our dreams, we can create lives filled with meaning, joy, and possibility.

Takeaways Worth Carrying Forward

1. Challenge Your Inner Critic

For many people, the inner critic and voice of self-doubt can become particularly loud. And what happens so often is that people believe their thoughts to be solid truths. If we are thinking it or feeling it, then it must be real or true. But thoughts are not facts.

One helpful shift is moving from “I am…” to “I’m having a thought that…” For example, if you notice you are having the thought “I am not enough,” bring attention to it by saying, “I notice I’m having a thought that I’m not enough.” That small bit of distance between the thought and your identity softens the story and loosens its grip.

Releasing unhelpful stories begins with awareness. Simply noticing which beliefs are truly serving us and which ones are keeping us small is a starting place. With self-compassion and gentle curiosity (not judgment), we can turn down the volume on the inner critic.

2. Small Choices Set the Foundation for a Big, Beautiful Life

So often, we’re shown the end result: the career milestone, the best-selling book, the success story, the highlight reel. Whatever the end result is, that’s all we tend to see. What we don’t see as often are all the small moments that led up to it and made it possible.

The reality is that it’s the behind-the-scenes, “boring,” and unglamorous work, and our everyday choices that support us in living a big, beautiful life. It’s the routines that ground us, the acts of self-care that restore us, and the intentional decisions that align us with our values that set the foundation for meaningful living.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Play

Play is something many of us in adulthood have abandoned. For many people, life becomes a cycle of work, hustle, and perform, and play is thought of as a “nice to have.” Of course, we need to be able to lock in and get the work done, and it’s also important to set aside time for play.

Giving ourselves permission to make space for fun, follow curiosities, learn new things, and enjoy unstructured time without guilt can recharge our energy and reignite passion and creativity in every area of our lives.

4. Reconnect with Your Favourite Self

When we let go of who we think we should be, reconnect with who we truly are, and invest our time and energy in what truly matters and brings us joy, meaning, and purpose, we step into a life that feels more like our own.

Who are you when you are your favourite self? This is not about your best, most polished, or perfect self, but the version of you that feels most genuine and authentic. When do you feel most alive, most aligned, and most yourself? That version of you is worth nurturing and celebrating.

5. Social Accountability Moves Goals

We all carry “maybe someday” goals. And rather than letting those goals and dreams drift away or stay stuck in the realm of maybe, there’s strength in choosing to step towards them.

When we share our dreams with trusted people, we invite support, encouragement, and sometimes even opportunities we couldn’t have imagined. And often, we discover that there are people already in our circle or network who want to help us succeed.

6. Dual Truths Can Exist

You can be deeply grateful and still want more. You can hold both appreciation for what’s working and ambition for where you want to go. You can honour where you are and still take bold steps towards new possibilities. You can love the life you’re living and still reach for new dreams.

These truths can co-exist. One doesn’t have to come at the expense of the other. Gratitude and ambition together help us create lives that feel both abundant and expansive.

Final Thoughts

Living a big, beautiful life isn’t reserved for a select few. It’s available to each of us, in the choices we make, the stories we rewrite, the joy we make space for, and the dreams we give ourselves permission to pursue.