Neuroticism, also known as emotional instability, often gets a bad rap. Even to those only vaguely familiar with the psychological literature, the term connotes qualities that most people would rather not be associated with. And this reputation is largely justified. Neuroticism has been linked to a wide range of emotional problems including anxiety, depression, eating pathology, body dissatisfaction, and personality disorders. Indeed, many investigators now believe that neuroticism may underlie most emotion disorders and an entirely new approach to therapy, transdiagnostic therapy, is predicated upon this assumption (Barlow, Curreri, & Woodard, 2021).
When it comes to romantic relationships, there are numerous ways in which neuroticism may undermine relationships. Neuroticism is associated with negative emotion, which itself is predictive of relationship failure; those high in neuroticism are prone to complaining, may interpret innocuous comments as criticism, and are generally somewhat dissatisfied with, and critical of, most things in their environment including their partner. In addition to being negative, highly neurotic people are also highly reactive, often overreacting in ways that make problems worse (e.g., breaking up, or threatening to, in response to a completely manageable situation).
For these reasons, there is a robust relationship between neuroticism and relationship satisfaction which holds up across age, race, sexual orientation, region of the world, and length of relationship (Esplin et al., 2024). Higher levels of neuroticism are associated with lower levels of relationship satisfaction. This applies to both being high in neuroticism and having a partner who is high in neuroticism.
Conscientious neurotics engage in better problem-solving and less negative conflict behaviors
New research, however, suggests that those high in neuroticism may not be quite as bad at relationships as we (or they) think. Xuan Quek, et al., (2025) examined the relationship between neuroticism and the ability to negotiate conflict. Negotiating conflict is, of course, an integral element of maintaining any relationship. Previous research has found neuroticism to be negatively associated with effective problem-solving during conflict (e.g., Tehrani & Yamini, 2020). However, because those data were based on self-report and thus filtered through the respondent’s self-assessment (which for those high in neuroticism were likely negative), it’s possible that conflict resolution skills of those high in neuroticism may have been underestimated.
Also, previous studies have failed to examine the influence of other Big 5 traits that may moderate the relationship between neuroticism and conflict negotiation. To address these gaps in the literature, the authors brought participants into a lab where they engaged in a hypothetical conflict negotiation discussion with another participant. These sessions were recorded and subsequently judged by independent observers. Participants also rated their own conflict resolution skills and completed a personality questionnaire.
The authors predicted and found that independent observers rated those high in neuroticism as more skilled negotiators than these individuals rated themselves. This suggests that the negative self-ratings obtained in earlier studies were likely driven by a negative bias on the part of the high neuroticism participants. Moreover, independent observers also found that when conscientiousness was high, neurotic individuals were less likely to engage in the kind of unconstructive negotiation strategies which they might otherwise be inclined to do. This suggests that neuroticism may only exert highly negative effects on negotiation when conscientiousness is low.
Each trait may be dependent on other traits
These findings underscore the importance of considering how each Big 5 trait interacts with other traits. For example, when most people hear the term “narcissism,” they typically think of the grandiose narcissist; self-absorbed, insensitive people who crave attention and appear to have very high self-esteem. But narcissism can manifest quite differently depending on one’s level of neuroticism. When narcissism occurs in the presence of high neuroticism the result is known as vulnerable narcissism. This combines classic narcissistic egocentrism with neurotic traits such as self-consciousness and low self-esteem (Miller, Back, Lynam, & Wright, 2021).
Similarly, high levels of neuroticism combined with conscientiousness results in what has been referred to as “healthy neuroticism” (Graham et al., 2020). Such individuals experience heightened anxiety, which is characteristic of high neuroticism, but they are better able to effectively manage their anxiety so that their neurotic traits may become an asset rather than a liability. Although the moderating influence of conscientiousness on neuroticism has been mixed (Turiano, et al., 2020) it appears that conscientiousness does increases positive problem solving in neurotic individuals who would otherwise struggle in this context.
In Summary
Although Xuan Quek, et al., (2025) examined conflict resolution in previously unacquainted college students discussing a hypothetical issue, it may have implications for romantic couples as well. It suggests that those high in neuroticism may have unrecognized strengths that benefit their relationship and that it may be possible to cultivate these strengths in a romantic context. Importantly, it also highlights the fact that the negative self-appraisals of those high in neuroticism are not always reliable and that these individuals may be more capable than they may realize. And, finally, it also underscores the importance of recognizing how the Five Factor Traits interact with each other.