Peter Kay has opened up about his health scare in his new book, Peter Kay’s Diary
Peter Kay (Image: PA)
Peter Kay’s world came crashing down when he was told that he required emergency surgery to remove a massive kidney stone. The 52-year-old comedian has shared his health scare in his new book, Peter Kay’s Diary, revealing that he realised the severity of his condition after searching his symptoms online.
He said: “Fast forward 24 hours, and my suspicions were confirmed via a CT scan at the local hospital. It turned out I had a big stone block in the exit of my right kidney.
“He (the urologist) reassured me, but said I needed emergency surgery to remove the kidney stone, which would also involve having a stent fitted at my urethra in order to maintain my kidney functions.
“F*** a duck.
“My pre op bloods confirmed his suspicions that, apparently, my kidney functions were deranged. Well, that’s how the nurse delicately put it.
“As much as I was shocked, I was also relieved and felt vindicated, as I actually had something wrong with me, and it wasn’t just hypochondria.
“However, kidney stone pain is legendary, and I was starting to sob and make the occasional high pitched whining sound, like when you fire an air rifle at a dog’s testicles.”
Peter also remembered feeling stunned when he understood what the procedure would involve.
The comedy legend said: “Then the penny dropped with a huge realisation.
“Oh, my God, he means he’s going in through the hole at the end of my penis.
“My world collapsed. Red lights flashed in my head. He can’t go up there? It’s out of bounds, private land. Area 51. A camera won’t fit up there, let alone one carrying a laser. Was this guy on glue?”.
Peter’s life eventually returned to normality after the operation – but he admits it wasn’t a straightforward process.
He said: “The urologist said I didn’t need any pain relief. He said it’d be a walk in the park, though I don’t know which parks he walks through.
“The urologist advised me to breathe deeply, in and out, then grabbed my penis like he was grabbing a snake and squeezed it, which caused my eyes to bulge like a cartoon.
“It was painful and unpleasant and a dreadful experience I never wish to repeat. Ever!”.