Post-nut crying isn’t uncommon (Picture: Getty Images/Collection Mix: Sub)
Real sex rarely unfolds how you picture it, with everything from unexpected noises to awkward angles taking you off-script.
But the way our bodies react to orgasm can be especially surprising — like when the flood of hormones sparks an inexplicable flood of tears.
In a recent Reddit thread, a woman opened up about her experience of crying after masturbating, asking whether it was ‘normal’ or she should be worried.
The 26-year-old explained that while she typically uses masturbation to ‘let off steam’ and ‘get rid of frustration,’ she’d started limiting herself to once a month because of how climax often lead to fits of sobbing.
A number of others in the comments expressed coping with similar emotions, as well as being similarly confused by their sudden onset of tears.
However, the ‘post-nut cry’ isn’t uncommon, nor is it necessarily a bad thing.
What is a post-nut cry?
You may have heard of post-nut clarity before, and the two are certainly comparable, only instead of mental clarity following an orgasm, this concept refers to an emotional response in the form of crying.
The fact is, there’s no one right way to act post-climax; some people fall fast asleep, others are suddenly energised, and some burst into tears — even if they aren’t actually upset.
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An orgasm floods the body with hormones (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Post-nut weeping might seem disconcerting to the uninitiated, but it doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong; it’s just the brain’s chemicals reacting in such a way to trigger a big ol’ cry.
Hormones including oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine are all released during and after climax, sending signals to the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems to take you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
If you don’t actually feel sad, crying may be a physical manifestion of releasing this ‘tension’, or they might simply be happy tears.
In some cases though, they could be as a result of ‘post-coital dysphoria’ (PCD).
Sex and relationships psychotherapist Gigi Engle tells Metro: ‘PCD – often referred to as the ‘post-sex blues’ – is when someone experiences feelings of sadness or agitation after consensual sex, even if the sexual encounter was loving and pleasurable.
‘This can happen whether orgasm was experienced or not, but often is a comorbidity with orgasm.”
It’s important to try to distinguish overwhelm from genuine upset (Picture: Getty Images)
As 3Fun expert Gigi highlights, our brains work in mysterious ways, and the ‘post-sex glow’ described in pop culture isn’t always the reality.
One Reddit user shared: ‘This used to happen to me with my husband occasionally. I would orgasm, then laugh hysterically and then my emotions would take a sharp turn and I would start crying and feeling really upset. Definitely a hormone thing.’
Another added: ‘It only has happened a few times for me. The orgasm was so hard and emotional I was just overwhelmed. Sex is emotional. Anyone who says it isn’t, is busy trying to deny it.’
How to handle crying after sex
If you ever find yourself a bit weepy post-climax, the first thing to do is give yourself a break. Every sexual experience is different, and although it might feel awkward initially, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Gigi recommends sitting with your feelings in the moment rather than pushing them aside, as well as prioritising aftercare and practicing mindfulness in order to alleviate the intensity of the emotions.
If it’s the other way round, do the decent thing and offer up a tissue, cuppa, or something stronger. We can’t control the way our bodies react to everything, so try to be patient, calm, and open to listen.
What comes next all depends on what’s behind the response. A one-off moment of overwhelm can probably be chalked up to just that, but if post-nut crying is ongoing or triggered are underlying issues, it needs further exploration.
Keep in mind too, PCD is extremely common. In fact, 46% of the 230 women aged from 18 to 55 surveyed in a 2015 study published in the journal Sexual Medicine said they’d experienced PCD in the past, while a 2019 questionnaire of 1,208 men revealed 41% reported an episode of PCD in their lifetime.
When crying after sex is more worrying
One vital thing to note is that PCD is not the same as crying because you’re in pain or something about the sexual experience has upset you. These are separate issues that need to be dealt with.
However, if you regularly cry post-orgasm and don’t know why, it might be worth speaking to a professional psychotherapist or sexologist — particularly if you have sexual trauma or mental health conditions that may be to blame.
Everybody is different, and navigating personal sexual pleasure is likely a journey that will last a lifetime.
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