Eddie, who does not wish to use his full, real name, was diagnosed with HIV 11 years ago — and, today, on World AIDS Day, he credits the charity Positive Life for “saving him”.
The “shame and stigma” surrounding his HIV diagnosis had pushed Eddie, who is a 61-year-old business consultant and father-of-two, to the brink of taking his own life.
At the time of his diagnosis, he was in the midst of a marriage breakdown and had entered a new relationship.
When he told his new partner about the diagnosis, the distressed dad later realised they had known about their own HIV status and had concealed it.
“My world fell apart. I was in what I felt to be a trusted relationship,” he said.
“When I look back, it became obvious that they had known for some time. I had noticed some medication in an unmarked container. When I had asked them what it was for, they weren’t specific.”
Eddie with Jacquie Richardson, CEO of Positive Life NI
Eddie was 50 when his health declined. His GP then ordered an HIV test, and when Eddie was called into the surgery, he knew something was wrong.
“The GP said I was HIV positive. There was no discussion about what HIV was, just that I needed to go to the GUM clinic.”
Eddie describes HIV stigma in Northern Ireland as “the last taboo”. He told almost no one about his diagnosis — not his ex-wife, not his children, only three close friends. He even avoided healthcare, including the dentist.
“HIV can happen to anyone. Most people think it just affects gay men,” he added.
“I was married with children. We need to get the message out that anyone of any age or gender who is sexually active can get HIV.
“The most important message right now is to get tested, to get treatment and to access the non-judgemental support I’ve had from Positive Life as soon as possible. Then you can get on with living your life and protect others from getting HIV.”
Positive Life’s red ribbon
Eddie made contact with Positive Life, Northern Ireland’s only dedicated HIV charity, this year.
“Had it not been for Positive Life, I wouldn’t be here to tell my story. I have finally begun to come to terms with my diagnosis, through the amazing support and therapeutic counselling interventions they’ve provided for me,” he said.
“HIV treatment has come on light-years since the 1980s, but attitudes here in Northern Ireland haven’t moved on.”
Eddie doesn’t want to reveal his full identity, as his ex-wife and children don’t know about his HIV diagnosis
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Statistics from the Department of Health show that there were 101 new diagnoses of HIV here last year, while there are 1,439 people living with HIV.
According to the department’s recent health survey, almost a fifth of those aged 16-34 haven’t heard of HIV, while fewer than one in three people know that someone on effective medication cannot pass the virus on.
Jacquie Richardson, chief executive of Positive Life, said: “Our message is get tested, know your status and end HIV.”