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Too soon?
‘Three-two’s got a nice ring to to it’
If you passed your Ashes GCSE, you’ll know that only one team in Ashes history – Test history for that matter – has come back to win from 2-0 down.
“Even miracles wouldn’t want to intervene in such situations for England,” says Abhishek Chopra. “Such a beautifully terrible omnishambles.”
You know England are really screwed when Ben Stokes is at the crease and you still don’t believe a miracle is possible.
“Mate, I couldn’t agree more with Jonathan Hungin (11.32am) re: the India series,” says Max Williams. “Everyone was rightly celebrating the incredible drama but from an English perspective, I think it was really damaging. They blew multiple opportunities to win their first five-match series in seven years (!), culminating that collapse at the Oval to fail at something they took for granted – chasing down big scores. Suddenly there’s doubt when there wasn’t before – even if you aren’t aware of it. When the history books are written, this Ashes will likely be portrayed as the collapse of Bazball but the foundations were critically damaged in the summer. Not saving the match at Lords, not bowling India out at Old Trafford, not finishing the job at the Oval. All led here.”
Yes. Before a series against Australia, England fans talk a lot about Ashes scarring, but non-Ashes scarring is also relevant. Contrast this team with the 2023 side and especially Michael Vaughan’s lot in 2005. Their 2-1 victory in South Africa the previous winter – when they didn’t play particularly well but found a way to win – was so important.
It feels relevant to highlight the recent records of those three sides before the relevant Ashes series.
2005 P18 W14 D3 L1 (win/loss ratio: 14)
2023 P13 W11 D0 L2 (W/L ratio: 5.5)
2025-26 P23 W12 D1 L10 (W/L ratio 1.2)
Read all about it
ShareMarcus Trescothick’s reaction
You know it’s a bad day when one of the coaching staff does the post-match interview.
We’re fairly philosophical about what we’re trying to do – obviously we’re not quite operating as we need to do and they’ve been better than us today. They dominated the day and put us under a lot of pressure; it’s always challenging when that happens.
In certain areas we haven’t been as good as we need to be for long enough. We’re trying all the time to put that right.
It’s obvious what Australia are trying to do – smash away on a good length, especially from the far end. They’ve done it really well and hit consistent areas. It’s always tough when momentum goes against you. We’re good enough to put the pressure back on them but it hasn’t quite happened today.
Fair play to them, they’ve made it hard for us. It’s not just things that we’ve done wrong. We know that we’re behind the game but you have to stay positive and focussed on what you’re trying to do and how you’re gonna try and win the game.
[On the decision-making of the batters] We get it right sometimes, and when we do we dominate opposition. And when we don’t get it right, we play bad shots and that gets highlighted. It is what it is. You’ve gotta have some way of trying to play the game. We look back on every innings and try to work out how we can make it better next time. But we have to stick to our principles of what we’re trying to do.
England’s innings: a tale of two halves
First 17 overs 90 for 1
Next 18 overs 44 for 5
“Amidst the slating for England that will come,” writes Gary Naylor, “it shouldn’t be forgotten that Scott Boland was superb. Glenn McGrath could not have bowled better.”
Quite. And he’s a bit quicker than McGrath was at the back end of his career.
ShareScott Boland’s reaction
Great fun, yeah. We thought the ball would come alive in the night session and I think we bowled pretty well there.
England always play their shots. I feel like on this kind of wicket, where it’s a bit up and down, if we put as many balls as possible in the right place we’ll get some chances.
[What are the right areas?] Probably… ah, I won’t tell you that!
[On the lower-order runs] That was our main objective – to get some overs into the England bowlers for the second innings and to try and stretch out our bowling into the night session. Starcy was awesome and it was nice to be out there with him.
A summary of the day’s play
Mitchell Starc top scored with 77 as Australia pottered to 511 all out, a lead of 177 on first innings. By dragging things out, they ensured England would have to start their innings as the lights were coming on. After a fine start – 45 for 0 from six overs at tea, then 90 for one in the evening session – England fell apart. It was the usual mixture of ill-conceived strokes and forensic seam bowling from Australia. Scott Boland was magnificent.
“I get the point about Bazball, and this team, providing joy and life-affirming excitement etc, but in this Test has there really been a passage of play where this has been true?” writes Paul Billington. “A poor first innings, having now seen the other team bat. Apparently clueless bowling. Now this… And they’re even getting out to defensive shots. Or is it that Australia, like those fancy cornflakes, are Just Too Good?”
Joe Root’s hundred was a good old life-affirmer, I’d say. But I know what you mean. The thing that will haunt England is that they have been nowhere near their best against a brilliant but vulnerable Australia side. In August, while most of us were high on cricket when India won at the Oval, my old Wisden colleague Jonathan Hungin was adamant that England’s failure to win the series would be really costly when the Ashes started. There are loads of factors but I do think England’s accumulated scarring since the last Ashes in 2023 is starting to hurt. Australia lost the WTC final, sure, but have won every series apart from the one against Shamar Joseph.
ShareStumps: England trail by 43 runs
34th over: England 134-6 (Stokes 4, Jacks 4) A maiden from Starc to Jacks brings to an end day a glorious day for Australia, who have taken a decisive grip on the match and series.
34th over: England 134-6 (Stokes 4, Jacks 4) Stokes pushes Boland into the covers for two; the rest of the over is a demonstration of the watertight forward defensive stroke. Stokes will still see a route to victory, because he has found one with England in even greater predicaments, but 99.94 per cent of us know this game will be done by tomorrow afternoon.
“Unless my maths is wrong, since when did two down with three to play mean that the series was over?” writes Simon McMahon.
33rd over: England 132-6 (Stokes 2, Jacks 4) Will Jacks times a boundary through extra cover before surviving an Australia review for a catch down the leg side. Alex Carey took it beautifully, of course he did, but the ball missed both glove and bat before hitting Jacks on the hip.
“I have been packing for my flight to Australia on Monday to distract myself,” writes Emma John. “I have now given up because it seems so meaningless. I need to take everything out and start again with all-black outfits.”
Look, Emma, I’ve told you before: as an England fan, if you want to enjoy an Ashes trip, you need to go to Lilac Hill.
ShareWICKET! England 128-6 (Smith c Carey b Starc 4)
Too good. Too, too good. Mitchell Starc gets his eighth wicket of the match – he’s on for back-to-back ten-fors – with a gorgeous delivery that moves away to shave the edge as Smith feels defensively. Alex Carey does the rest.
Smith reviewed, not sure why, but it was undeniably out and his poor series continues.
England have slipped from 90 for 1 to 128 for 6. They said it changes when the sun goes down around here…
Mitchell Starc celebrates taking the wicket of Jamie Smith. Photograph: Bradley Kanaris/Cricket Australia/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 06.23 EST
32nd over: England 127-5 (Stokes 1, Smith 4) Smith belts a drive through mid-off for four to get off the mark. A rare bad ball from Boland, who adjusts his length and jags one back to beat Smith. Lovely bowling. This is a serious interrogation, the kind usually reserved for Court TV, with Scott Boland in the role of prosecution counsel. Does that make me Vinnie Politan?
“How good is Boland when he is on song?” writes Chris Paraskevas. “Legitimately unplayable. Would love to see him do the business in England and banish those personal demons…”
That 2027 Ashes, as well as being the real quiz, could be the final achievement of a great Australian team – especially if they win in India earlier that year. Given recent events, they’ll fancy their chances in both series.
Updated at 06.24 EST
31st over: England 123-5 (Stokes 1, Smith 0) Just over 20 minutes to the close, although Australia could claim the extra extra half hour if they take another couple of wickets in that time.
Stokes is dealing exclusively in defensive strokes, most of them very solid. Most but not all: a thick edge drops short of Green in the gully.
“Having watched/endured a lot of this since 4.15am, despite not really wanting to,” begins Luke Regan, “I’ve decided all I want for Christmas is Severance, but for away Ashes series.”
30th over: England 123-5 (Stokes 1, Smith 0) Jamie Smith, on a pair, survives a big LBW shout first ball. Too high, but it was a jaffa of a nipbacker. A wicket maiden from Boland, who is making the ball talk. When he does that, he’s unplayable.
It’s a minor detail of the series, because Australia have been far better in both games, but I do wonder whether England got it wrong at the toss, here and at Perth.
“Conspiracy theorists have long believed that the 2010-11 Ashes was actually filmed on a secret sound stage in Dallas,” honks Kristine.
ShareWICKET! England 123-5 (Brook c Carey b Boland 14)
And so it is. Harry Brook will be livid with himself – he’s been dismissed playing a defensive stroke. He pushed forward to a lovely, full-length delivery from Boland and got a thin edge through to Carey.
Australia are rampant and have taken four wickets for 33.
Australia are rampant as Scott Boland celebrates taking the wicket of Brook. Photograph: Darrian Traynor/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 06.08 EST
Australia review for caught behind next ball!
I’m pretty sure this one is out.
Brook is not out!
He missed it by a mile. Hmm, how weird. The ball did hit his back leg, which is probably why everyone appealed, but it was nowhere near the edge of the bat.
England review! Brook given out caught behind
Be still my beating everything.
29th over: England 123-4 (Brook 15, Stokes 1) Excellent analysis of Root’s wicket on the TV coverage. Every ball that Starc bowled to him was either just short or on a good length; then, out of nothing, he speared a very full delivery well wide of off stump. Root’s muscle memory took over and he edged a drive through to Carey.
Sure, it’s one of the older tricks in the book, but it works and Starc knows that. Brook almost falls for another, fresh-airing a drive on the up to a ball angled across him.
28th over: England 122-4 (Brook 14, Stokes 1) Australia are without four of their preferred XI (some by choice) and they are still hammering England. Boland, bowling round the wicket, hammers a length to Stokes, who defends and defends and defends in the hope if he keeps defending he might wake up and realise it’s 20 November 2025 and the series hasn’t started. A maiden.
“How naive we were to think this series might be different,” writes Joshua Keeling. “Another calamitous England series in Australia. That 2010/11 team looks better and better with every passing day.”
They do. One thing that interests me about that series is the Aussie team, which on paper looks superb. In reality most of them were either out of form or past their best, but to win three matches by an innings is utterly preposterous. Are we sure it actually happened?
27th over: England 122-4 (Brook 14, Stokes 1) Ben Stokes walks out to face his nemesis, Mitchell Starc. He’s turned round by his first ball, getting a leading edge into the off side, then gets off the mark with a single to leg.
“I had been in the process of writing that this morning was Pope and Crawley’s chance to prove the doubters wrong and repay all the faith put in them only to watch them both perish…” weeps Tom Van der Gucht. “Perhaps that’s the biggest failing of Bazball – not the exhilarating approach to cricket, but the bros backing bros vibes whereby they haven’t been ruthless enough in selection to pick the best players to achieve the masterplan.
“We’ve stuck with Pope and Crawley despite their clear weaknesses and can’t really be surprised now that they have failed to bring the blueprint to fruition due to them not quite being of the highest calibre.”
I’m still not convinced there were/are better alternatives, certainly to Crawley. He got out to a loose stroke, sure, but his performance in this game showed exactly why he was picked. I think Australia fear him a lot more than Pope.
Updated at 05.49 EST
Joe Root had started immaculately, but his first mistake was his last. He chased a wide half-volley from Starc, bowled from round the wicket, and snicked it through to Carey. His bat also hit the ground, which confused the umpire, but Australia were very confident and took the matter upstairs. The healthiest of spikes of Snicko confirmed what they already knew.
Mitchell Starc celebrates after dismissing Joe Root. Photograph: Cameron Spencer/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 05.54 EST
WICKET! England 121-4 (Root c Carey b Starc 15)
The Ashes are staying in Australia.
England’s Joe Root walks after his dismissal. Photograph: Hollie Adams/ReutersShare
Updated at 05.51 EST
Australia appeal for caught behind against Root!
Remember that costly Brad Haddin drop at Cardiff in 2015? I think this might be a repeat, except Carey has taken the catch.
26th over: England 121-3 (Root 15, Brook 14) “Evening Rob,” says Phil Withall. “I’ve not managed to see much cricket today; that may well have been a fortunate outcome. However, in a real mood-lifting moment, my daughters have given me a Mr Potato Head toy of the Dude from Big Lebowski. It really ties the room together.”
You should try having Junior Soprano watching over you in the bedroom.
Brook is not out!
He was outside the line and it was probably going over as well. A poor review.
Australia review for LBW against Brook!
Scott Boland replaces Neser. His first ball keeps very low and beats Brook outside off stump; that uneven bounce is fast becoming a factor in this game and you’d expect at least one more batter to be torpedoed.
Brook late cuts for four, then survives an LBW appeal after playing around an excellent nipbacker. It looks high but Australia have gone upstairs.
25th over: England 115-3 (Root 15, Brook 8) With an hour’s play remaining, Mitchell Starc returns in place of the quietly excellent Brendan Doggett (6-2-19-0). He starts around the wicket to Brook, who tucks a single off the hip, and keeps the same angle of attack to Root.
Sir Alastair Cook speculates that he’s trying to hit the big crack on off stump, as he did so spectacularly against James Vince at Perth in 2017. Nothing doing in that over; Root helps himself to a pair of twos, one on each side of the wicket.
24th over: England 110-3 (Root 11, Brook 7) Neser gets one to burst menacingly from a length towards Brook, who aborts his attacking stroke and is hit high on the bat. On the TV commentary, Sir Alastair Cook is bemoaning the ease with which Neser was given both wickets by Pope and Crawley; it’s hard to argue.
23rd over: England 107-3 (Root 11, Brook 4) Root steers Doggett through the slips for four, a deliberate, well-controlled stroke, and times a cut for two more. Doggett responds with an excellent delivery that keeps a bit low, beats Root and only just misses the off stump.
If England can get a lead of 200 – I know, I know – they will fancy their chances of a pitch that looks increasingly uneven. Right now, with England still 70 runs behind, Australia hold every single ace.
“On a positive note,” writes Stef, “at least this game lasted longer than the first Test. After that? I hear the weather’s nice over there!”
And Swans have just released a great new pop song. It’s the sound of summer!
22nd over: England 101-3 (Root 5, Brook 4) Goodness me. Brook’s first ball seams back dramatically to hit the pad and is smartly taken by Carey. At first I thought it had bowled him; in fact Australia were appealing unsuccessfully, for caught behind.
Brook gets off the mark with a boundary to fine leg.
Updated at 05.25 EST
Drinks: England trail by 80 runs
Harry Brook is the new batter. Enough said.
We anticipated a gazillion scenarios ahead of this Ashes series. Michael Neser putting Australia 2-0 up via the medium of caught-and-bowleds wasn’t on the list – but he has taken two in quick succession to put the Aussies in complete control. Crawley scuffed an ill-conceived drive back towards Neser, who reached to his right to take a brilliant two-handed catch.
Zak Crawley walks after a tame dismissal. Photograph: Jason O’Brien/ShutterstockShare
Updated at 05.27 EST
WICKET! England 97-3 (Crawley ct and b Neser 44)
Another one gone!
Neser celebrates catching Crawley off his own delivery. Photograph: Cameron Spencer/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 05.33 EST
21st over: England 95-2 (Crawley 42, Root 5) A maiden from Doggett to Root. Pressure’s building.
“I wonder if Ollie Pope is not well served by Bazball,” writes Jonathan Wood. “He just doesn’t seem suited to it, and has lost his way. When he was just playing for Surrey, he reminded me of Ian Bell; and now he reminds me of the Ian Bell who struggled in the England team like little boy lost. Bell eventually found confidence in his ability to do things his way, and became the best English batsman for a couple of years. Maybe Pope needs to find his own way too.
“McCullum is all for players expressing themselves in their own way. If this is Pope’s way, he’s preparing like Spud prepared for job interviews.”
Our imaginary legal department would like to point out this is a metaphorical comparison, and that Pope doesn’t enjoy a little dab o’ speed before he goes out to bat. You might be right, though I still think the biggest problem is that he’s just not a No3. When he batted down the order in New Zealand last year he counter-attacked beautifully, and though he still took risks he seemed to manage them a lot better. I would also argue he’d lost his way before Bazball; remember that horror trot in 2021.