Via iStockphoto / @uegn.k TikTok
Some people are determined to win a Darwin Award. And there’s nothing like the sight of a massive wild animal to bring out their inner desire to win one.
Two men in Montana recently gave it their best effort. A video posted by creator @uegn.k shows two men in a snow-covered parking lot at night. One appears to have a canned beverage in his hand. A moose is standing very close by on a snowy knoll.
A different man at a safe distance away films the encounter between dudes and wild beast. At first, he tries to talk sense into them.
“It’s not my moose, but it’s a g—– wild animal,” he chides the two. “Get the f— away from it, you idiots.”
A second man standing behind the camera offers a similar warning. “Let it be wild,” he says.
The first man says with apparent exasperation, “Jesus f—— Christ, you guys must be the dumbest people I’ve ever met in my life.”
The two men near the moose laugh.
Are Moose Dangerous?
While they are ungulates (hooved animals) like a cow, a deer, and a horse, which are typically thought to be docile creatures, moose are no shrinking violets. These massive creatures can grow up to seven feet tall and weigh anywhere from 800 to 1,600 pounds or more.
They may look friendly like other ungulates, but moose are definitely not your friends. They’re actually considered more dangerous than bears.
This isn’t because they’re particularly aggressive, to be fair, but their greater numbers and proclivity for living close to civilization mean humans are more likely to encounter a moose. As the two men in the parking lot learned.
Attacks are relatively rare, however. Still, in Alaska, five to 10 people are hospitalized each year as a result of getting too close to North America’s tallest animal.
What Happens Next?
It quickly becomes clear that no amount of helpful advice would make a difference. The two men are clearly captivated by the moose. Their desire to touch it is palpable.
The video, which is credited to @bibwitharte and purportedly took place in Big Sky, Montana, shows them inching closer to the moose.
The second admonishment about their relative lack of intelligence has no effect. So the two behind the camera seemingly give up.
“Go ahead, touch it,” the second one says.
The first agrees, albeit more colorfully, saying, “Go ahead. Try. Go ahead. Try. See what happens. See what the f— happens.”
The other one jokingly urges them to see how far the moose’s leg will stretch.
Perhaps the first speaker has a change of heart, because he tries again to convince them to abandon course. “Get the f— away from the moose,” he says.
Apparently this is all the encouragement the two near the moose need. They both creep nearer to the creature, mockingly saying, “Oh oh oh oh. Little closer. Little closer.”
“Go on. You guys are f—— idiots,” the first man says.
Finally the moment everyone watching is waiting for. One closes the gap between himself and the moose. Then he touches it on the hindquarters. Naturally, it turns to charge, and both scramble away. Well, one scrambles away, and the one who touched it attempts to. But instead he slips and falls in the snow.
As he clambers to his feet, the moose charges. His feet keep trying and failing to gain purchase as he half crawls away. The moose makes contact, and then man and moose disappear behind a car.
The men behind the camera are tickled. “Get him. Yeah. Get him! Get him!” one yells.
Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes
It isn’t clear what happened to either of the morons who took their chances with a moose. But people are pretty sure that the outcome was not in their favor. And they’re here for it. In the three days since it was posted, the video has amassed nearly 12 million views and 1.7 million likes. Most people are delighted.
“Instant karma is my favorite thing ever,” Jaydnali replied.
Many commenters took the opportunity to point out the stupidity of their actions. “Same animal that chases down full grown bears btw,” Contagiouslysteezy said.
Others made assumptions about their origins.
Autumn guessed, “20 bucks says they’re from Texas or some southern state.” Horsewithnoname disagreed, writing, “I’d bet my years salary on them being from California.”
Many, many people loved the reaction of the two men who had the sense to stay away from the moose.
“Me: ‘GET HIM GET HIIIIMMM,’” Thomas Cowling joked.
“I started yelling with him lol,” KimberF74 said.
If the people have any regrets, it’s that they don’t get to see the rest of the story of two dudes and a moose.
“The car blocked the best shot,” lamented one. “Vid needs to be 30 seconds longer,” another said wistfully.
Neither @uegn.k nor @bibwitharte responded to BroBible’s direct messages sent via TikTok.