The beloved Faithful, 35, on which England player would make an awful Traitor, feeling like an imposter in rugby and whether he’d ever go on Strictly Come Dancing
My Sporting Life is The i Paper’s look behind the curtain on what drives sports stars to greatness. This week we speak to former England and Lions prop – and Celebrity Traitors finalist – Joe Marler about his Christmas traditions, early career struggles and Strictly Come Dancing.
I have a whole Yule log to myself every year. I just eat it myself. No one else is allowed to touch the Yule log. As much as I love the joy and happiness of the kids, unfortunately Christmas is all about the food with me.
We did try and do a sea dip last year, but not all the family would buy into it. They were all moaning it was too cold, so it was a bit lonely for me.
‘I have a whole Yule log to myself every year – no one else is allowed,’ says Marler
When was I happiest? Good question. I think probably the back end of my rugby career. So 2019 onwards, until it ended.
I’d gotten to a point in my life and my career where I was like, well, this is me, I’m comfortable with who I am, with the people I’ve got around me, and you get to a point where you can take it or leave it with people. And that freed me up where I wasn’t trying so hard to impress coaches or teammates.
It was like, this is me. This is what I can do. I know what I can’t do. That’s probably when I was most happy, when I could just enjoy playing the game for the love of it, as opposed to stressing about selection or stressing about trying to impress a coach and that lot.
I presented myself in a different way as a defence mechanism. It was two fingers up to the establishment, because I didn’t quite fit the mould of the traditional public schoolboy. I did feel out of place, that imposter syndrome, like I shouldn’t be here, how the heck have I got here and all that side of it.
I always wanted to be on stage growing up, and then got into rugby. And rugby became that stage where I could put on this exaggerated persona each week when you cross the white line, and then you can sack it off and come home and be normal. So that was my method in the madness.
Marler looks dejected after England lose to South Africa in the 2019 World Cup final (Photo: Getty)
Losing the 2019 World Cup final definitely hurt more than losing Celebrity Traitors. But had we won the World Cup final I probably would never have got the chance to play Traitors because I would have won the World Cup, retired on the spot and then buggered off to live in Spain. That was the plan. It really unfolded quite quickly in that final…
I forgave Nick Mohammed five minutes after it happened. It was an incredible experience. But the backlash off the back of the final episode, the amount of people that still come up to me, even weeks later, going, ‘Have you forgiven Nick?’ ‘Oh, oh, that Nick, what Nick did to you’. I was like, what Nick did to me in a pretend game? Yeah, it was so awful.
I was a massive fan of the show going into it so when I got the opportunity I was desperate to do it. I was like, this would be so much fun. It was like, oh my god, look at these guys, look at these megastars that I’d grown up watching.
So it was all bonkers, it was all silly, and it was all great, great fun and an incredible experience, and one I feel lucky to have been a part of.
Would Marcus Smith be a good Traitor? No, he’s too giggly. He’d be awful, actually. Even though Alan [Carr] just laughed and giggled at us the whole way through. No, he wouldn’t be able to hold it together.
Tommy Freeman would make a great Traitor. He’s got this outward persona, cheeky chappie, up for a lot. But he is also really sharp, really considered.
And the best of Faithfuls would be Jamie George, he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve come across. He’d do a better job than me actually of taking down the Traitors, because ultimately I lost again. Serial loser, I just lose at everything. World Cup finals, semi-finals, Traitors… It was fun to watch though.
I love players like Henry Pollock who’ve got the confidence to be themselves. I spent a large part of my career trying to fit into someone else’s mould. I’d encourage boys to be themselves more, and that’s not necessarily be someone like Henry, just be comfortable in your own skin and be yourself.
But rugby also has to allow that space for players to feel comfortable that if they are going to put themselves out there, they’re not going to be shot down left, right and centre by the media or commentators.
I still hear the commentators go, ‘Oh, look at the state of Henry’s hair, what’s he done there?’ and all that sort of thing. Why aren’t you making comments about any of the other players? Just because it’s different? So I just hope Henry doesn’t take any of the flak to heart and change accordingly.
Strictly Come Dancing? Not a chance. I have not got a rhythmic bone in my body. It does not interest me. I want to do stuff that I enjoy, and dancing is not one of them I’m afraid.
But Robbo [Chris Robshaw] did very well, considering I would always describe him as one of the most malcoordinated players I’ve ever played with. And now I just really enjoy watching his social media off the back of it. It’s great. But no, it’s not for me.
Joe Marler has teamed up with Sainsbury’s to launch “Couch to Christmas Day”; a three part audio guide on how to navigate festive hosting like a pro. The audio guide is live on Spotify and Apple Music now.
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