On March 16, 2021, the world changed. Dozens more Dead Sea scroll fragments were discovered in the Judaean desert; Boris Johnson informed the British public that a new Covid variant was doing the rounds (we were still under a “stay at home” order in that final lockdown); and, most earth-shattering of all, my friend Christian set up the “Pub Conference” WhatsApp group.
This was a bad time for pubs and a great time for being silly online. In this small group of about 20 isolated pint lovers, we swapped stories about the beloved London boozers — at the time only able to serve takeaway drinks — that we longed to revisit. A Google map of Pub Conference-approved venues was created. As the Covid rules eased and life became more normal again, the list would grow — and continue growing, to its present total of 391 pubs, with the latest added last week (the Anchor on Lewisham Road). Whenever any of us want to grab a drink we simply whip out the map and hotfoot it to the nearest pin.
During nearly a decade of living in London, I have visited hundreds of pubs. There are the locals I’ve acquired while living in different parts of town — the Palm Tree in Mile End, the Compton Arms in Highbury and the Prince Albert in Peckham. There are the boozers in east and southeast London where I went on far too many average Hinge dates — plus one very successful one (we’re getting married at the same spot, the Kerfield Arms in Camberwell, this year). And there are the work pubs I have visited out of sheer convenience (read: beneath the office) that I now hold in great affection, from the Churchill Arms in Kensington to the Cross Keys in Covent Garden.
Any article like this is bound to prove contentious, so in the interests of giving it the veneer of statistical significance and in the spirit of democracy I asked all members of the Pub Conference to name and rank their five favourite London pubs. They took into account criteria including affordability, range of beers, decor, additional offerings such as live music and the staff and clientele, making sure to cover a good spread of neighbourhoods (gastropubs are a separate genre of establishment so food was not a consideration). Each response was weighted accordingly and I figured out the overall top five. I couldn’t have come up with a better list myself.
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1. The Wenlock Arms, Hoxton
The Wenlock featured in the 2013 film The World’s End
The first time I entered the Wenlock I thought, “This feels like just the sort of place where an Edgar Wright-directed, Simon Pegg-starring action comedy à la Shaun of the Dead would be filmed.” Bizarrely, I later found out that it had appeared as “Pub No 5” in their bonkers pub-crawl-themed sci-fi film The World’s End. You can see why they picked this nearly-200-year-old corner pub, in a peaceful residential nook of east London — the oak island bar, the leather banquettes, the vast windows overlooking a square; the main room is undeniably atmospheric. Whenever I visit, usually after playing squash on a Sunday afternoon, there is someone tinkling away at a piano. Mine’s a smooth, caramelly Wenlock House IPA.
Details Pints from £5 (wenlockarms.com)
2. The Prospect of Whitby, Wapping
The Prospect of Whitby has plenty of outdoor space overlooking the Thames
ALAMY
One of my central-London bugbears is that there are too few spots to grab a riverside pint. This is why my pals and I often end up in Wapping, to the east. Dating from 1520, the Prospect of Whitby is the perfect pitstop during a walk from St Katharine Docks near Tower Hill to Shadwell Basin. The building offers a whistle-stop historical tour: 400-year-old flagstone floors, a moody black Victorian façade, a gibbet with noose overhanging the water (don’t be alarmed — the nearby execution site it commemorates closed in 1830). Your pint-swigging predecessors were sailors and smugglers, and you can feel it. But besides the history the main draw is the waterside panorama from the rear terrace — you can see why Turner and Whistler came here to sketch.
Details Pints from £7 (greeneking.co.uk)
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3. The Sutton Arms, Clerkenwell 
The Sutton Arms is a great place for a quiet after-work pint
JACK BRENT
Clerkenwell is the best location in London for early-evening drinks — it’s accessible but also a place where people live and not touristy in the slightest. This means that its pubs are rarely rammed and have a more relaxed feel than those in the City, for instance. The Sutton Arms is a case in point. Here, on a corner of Great Sutton Street, the focus is on good beer rather than getting sloshed. The blackboard lists a constantly rotating selection of British craft beers available on tap — if it’s in, try the super-refreshing Dusty’s Ginger Beer. The last time I went there Marisa Abela, the actress who played Amy Winehouse in the film Back to Black, was perched outside with her thesp companions.
Details Pints from £6 (suttonarms)
4. The Coach & Horses, Soho
The Coach & and Horses has a jubilant vibe
Some pubs are known for attracting lawyers; others (sadly) for insurance bros. There are also politician pubs and civil-servant pubs. The Coach & Horses on Greek Street is — and long has been — a journalist pub. It’s where Jeffrey Bernard sourced much material for his Low Life column in The Spectator, which began in the late 1970s, while Private Eye hosted its infamous fortnightly lunches upstairs. But that’s not the only reason I’m into it. There are few better introductions to London drinking culture than the pre-theatre Coach & Horses scrum. The manager, Ali Ross, and her team are young, warm and arty, and so is the clientele. The vibe feels like that of a jubilant wedding party — one fuelled by Guinness and Taytos.
Details Pints from £7 (coachandhorsessoho.pub)
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5. The Pride of Spitalfields, Spitalfields
Head to the Pride of Spitalfields for an affordable beer
ALAMY
In an age when a pint of even the most basic lager will cost you upwards of £7 in London (I have paid almost £9), anywhere that you can spend as little as a fiver should be celebrated. Enter the Pride of Spitalfields, just off Brick Lane, which came top in my highly scientific poll. This is the most fun, best-value boozer in the East End. You’ll spend hours drinking and chatting on the pavement outside, but you’ll spend even longer admiring the floral carpets and nodding along to the DJ sets inside. For company, expect a jumble of City boys, couples on dates, art students, bewildered tourists, creative thirtysomethings, retired locals and jolly staff who insist on referring to Staropramen beer as “strap a man on”. The proudest moment in the history of our WhatsApp group was when a mate and I made the cut for a lock-in here — I’m still banging on about it two years later.
Details Pints from £5; 3 Heneage Street, E1
Don’t agree with Huw’s pick? Recommend your favourite London boozer in the comments