(Credits: Far Out / NASA / Uwe Conrad)
Mon 23 February 2026 9:30, UK
Whenever people say that a particular decade is the best there ever was in terms of pop music, what they always neglect to consider is that, amongst all of the greatness, there is a torrent of slop that somehow managed to hit the top of the charts.
Lots of people yearn for music to be as good as it was in the 1960s, but they seem to be forgetting that this is also a decade where the last two number one singles in the UK were The Archies’ ‘Sugar, Sugar’ and Rolf Harris’ ‘Two Little Boys’. If that’s the impression you’re leaving a decade behind with, I’d argue that you, the British public in 1969, ought to be ashamed that you allowed this supposed golden era to end with 14 weeks of pitiful shite.
There are examples of this in every decade throughout history that do their best to besmirch the good name of the singles chart and overshadow the genuinely deserving hits that have graced top spot, and it gets to a point where it’s hard to truly agree on what the best decade for music was because of the disconnect between the good and the bad.
I might be biased, but as a child of the 1990s, I’d argue that this was one of the best decades in music history, and then I immediately remind myself of the fact that Rednex’s version of ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ was number one on the day I was born. While the unfortunate timing of my introduction into the world could just be a case of coincidence, a list of the rest of 1995’s hits demonstrates that the pickings were slim, with The Outhere Brothers and Robson & Jerome both scoring multiple number ones that year, alongside Simply fucking Red.
Could it possibly have gotten more turgid than this? Why, of course, it could. Our concerning obsession with novelty, celebrities turning their hand to singing and wanky charity singles seemingly reared its ugly head more frequently in the 1990s than in any other decade in history, and while it would be easy to turn to The Teletubbies and call them the absolute nadir of the charts in the decade, their bizarre stint as double platinum-selling popstars isn’t actually the worst.
Sure, these children’s characters come pretty close to the bottom of the barrel, but there’s one single from the 1990s that eclipses ‘Teletubbies Say Eh-Oh!’ as being the biggest dumpster fire to have reigned over the UK charts during the period.
So, what was the worst number one of the 1990s?
Sadly, the UK saw fit at the end of 1993 to propel a rotund bag of flesh to the top of the charts with one of the greatest abominations ever heard. Knocking Meat Loaf off his throne after seven weeks at the top with ‘I’d Do Anything For Love’, the Noel Edmonds-created monster that is Mr Blobby went to number one with his eponymous debut single.
With his eyes whirling round in his smooth dome of a skull and a voice that sounds like a Dalek low on battery, this pink and yellow horror show somehow spent a week at number one, only to be knocked off, and then inexplicably returned for two more weeks, despite it having all the hallmarks of being one of the worst songs of all time. With a cheaply-produced dance track, a children’s chorus torturously letting a melody whimper out of them and, of course, Blobby himself adlibbing his own name over the top, you arguably can’t get much worse.
If we lived in a perfect world, Björk would have been top of the charts rather than languishing at number 21 with ‘Big Time Sensuality’, and I wouldn’t be writing this. ‘Mr Blobby’ is perhaps not just the worst number one of the 1990s, but the country’s greatest decline into applauding the lowest common denominator. Hearing the song will make you wish ears weren’t a thing, but then that still means you’d have to look at the prick. It’s an attack on all senses, a crime against humanity, and a dagger through the heart of what used to be one of the nation’s greatest cultural institutions.