Most couples in their eighties have long since downsized. But John and Marjorie Milbank are not most couples. When they decided to downsize from their five-bedroom Victorian house near Halesworth, Suffolk, in 2022, they couldn’t find anything they liked. So at an age when many are moving to retirement flats, they decided to build a house in their back garden — and it’s not some boring bungalow.
They built a modern black barn with double-height ceilings, glass all round and dramatic black timber cladding. It’s also two storeys; the couple always wanted a sculptural spiral staircase, despite John having endured two knee replacements.
For John and Marjorie, age is a state of mind. John, 82, who used to run his own precast concrete company in Essex, still races on the classic car racing circuit. Once his knee has improved he hopes to get back to riding Pharoah, his Irish sports horse. A few years ago, in their Victorian house, he built an extension to replace their old conservatory. “John is a very hands-on person — he will try his hand at everything,” Marjorie, 81, says. “He cuts the wood, he builds fences, he’s up ladders. His catchphrase is ‘I’ll just do it’.”
Their future home — the modern black barn — looks out onto their current house
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Both previously married, the couple met in 2008 using the Eastern Daily Press’s telephone Voice Personal ads. “Marjorie phoned up on a Monday night. I said, ‘Shall we meet on Tuesday?’ No sense messing about,” John recalls. “On the Thursday, I said, ‘Do you fancy coming to my house for a cup of tea?’ She turned up in red high heel shoes with a matching red handbag. I was having a bonfire in my wellies with no shirt on, but that’s me. We started going out straight away, and we’ve been together ever since.”
Marjorie, a primary school teacher for 45 years, moved in with John the same year; they were married in 2010. John knew Marjorie was a kindred spirit early on when they went walking in Bury St Edmunds and she started waxing lyrical about bricks and door handles. “I said, ‘Oh, isn’t that brickwork lovely,’” Marjorie recalls. “And he said, excuse my language, ‘Bloody hell. Who the hell talks about brickwork except me?’”
Their Victorian house has five bedrooms, six reception rooms and covers 3,500 sq ft
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John had wanted to be a civil engineer, but when he was 17 his father died so he gave up on that goal and took over the family concrete company. “We love walking around villages and backstreets and seeing the houses and how they’ve evolved,” John says. “And we also love modern architecture.”
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John had always fancied building his own house and Marjorie had always taken a keen interest in interior design, she tells me over quiche in the cosy kitchen of their house, which is warmed by a wood-burning stove and deep red cabinetry. They love the Victorian house — originally a school — but it has five bedrooms, six reception rooms and covers 3,500 sq ft, not to mention two acres of garden. It’s been great for parties; they hosted 75 people for their joint 80th birthday do, featuring an Abba tribute group. But though they’re young at heart, they’re also realistic. “We’ve always said we’ll move before we are pushed,” John says.
The couple wanted to build their new house nearby as they felt settled in the community
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They looked far and wide, but there aren’t many suitable houses for octogenarian downsizers who also need an acre for their horse. Nor were they keen on bungalows; they feel they’re for old people, and they don’t consider themselves old.
Even so, Marjorie concedes, “we’ve got friends around here, and when you’re getting older, it takes you a bit longer to make new friends, doesn’t it?… We thought, we can’t find anywhere nicer. That’s when we hit upon the idea of building our own house here.”
They hoped they could get planning permission to convert a 1960s piggery barn on their land, and started making inquiries in late 2022. They hired an architect, Julian D Hood. The plan was to split the plot in two, sell off the Victorian house and move to the other side of a hedge. But for two years they got caught up in planning tedium: bat surveys, newt surveys and chemical surveys on the former piggery.
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They were finally granted permission for a single-storey dwelling in early 2024. Then their planning consultant, Jasmine Philpott from Durrants Building Consultancy, told them the rules had changed; instead of converting the barn, they could build new from scratch. “The new rules would allow us to knock the barn down, move the footprint, and have two storeys. We said, oh, that’s what we really want,” Marjorie recalls. “We did think, do we want to go through all the planning again? But the other barn was going to be a compromise. And so we said, all right, let’s do it.”
Hood came up with a design for a sleek and contemporary black barn that also pays homage to the local vernacular: it has a pitched roof and the burnt timber cladding (a Japanese tradition called shou sugi ban) is in keeping with the old black barns that dot Suffolk.
The design pays homage to the local vernacular with its pitched roof and black cladding
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They applied for a three-bedroom, 2,000 sq ft dwelling. Permission was granted in late 2024 and they started building in early 2025. They hired timber frame specialists Daniels & Vincent to build a house from glulam, which is durable, sustainable and aesthetically appealing (their interiors have exposed engineered wood ceilings). Also on their wish list was an air source heat pump and mechanical heat ventilation recovery system.
An air source heat pump has been installed, fulfilling John’s wish to ensure the house is “relevant in 30 or 40 years’ time”
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Inside they wanted an open-plan living-dining room, though Marjorie insisted on a separate kitchen (you can see the living room through a glass door, but it’s sealed from cooking smells). She is having fun choosing the decor: art deco tiles and door handles in the bathrooms, Laura Ashley kitchen cabinetry in bottle green from the Suffolk Kitchen Co. John was keen on a floating wood-burning stove. They both wanted that showstopping elliptical staircase by First Steps Design. Why? “It’s sexy,” says John, who also wanted black ash door sets with matching skirting and doors with no architraves or visible hinges.
Marjorie opted for Laura Ashley cabinetry in bottle green for the kitchen
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Why did they choose a spiral staircase? “It’s sexy,” says John
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The couple have always lived in period houses, but they are part of a growing cohort of pensioners who are embracing modern homes later in life. Another must-have was lots of light: the sides of the living room have double-height atriums with glazing by IDSystems, and the Norwich Architectural Lighting Company provided moody atmospheric uplighting.
In keeping with Suffolk’s artsy feel — think Maggi Hambling sculptures at Aldeburgh and Snape Maltings — they have a textured bronze front door by RK Doors with a sculptural handle by Phillip Watts Design, a zinc roof and metallic sculptures in the garden.
“We went out and decided on all these new things before we knew what the house was going to cost,” John says. “And then fainted when we found out,” Marjorie says. The budget was about £800,000, £80,000 of which was in the planning alone. And it took eight months — and £10,000 — to get permission to connect the water mains to the new house, while hooking up electricity cost another £4,000.
They’ll buy mostly new furniture to suit their modern home, but first they have to move in — they’ve accepted an offer on the Victorian house, which they had put on the market in January with Strutt & Parker for £1.25 million, and are waiting to exchange. They’re hoping their new house will be ready in May.
The old house has six reception rooms and a modern extension overlooking the garden
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What are they most looking forward to? “Having more time,” John says. “We’ve spent three years talking about this build. I just want time to sit down and read.”
Marjorie adds: “We want to have more time travelling. I also play the piano and I’m in a choir. The build hasn’t been stressful, but it’s been tiring.”
Their new bedroom looks back on the old house, from a distance. Marjorie says they’ll feel nostalgic. “But John always said we were only ever custodians of that house. It’s time to pass it on to someone else who will love it as much as we do.”
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John also wants to leave a legacy by building the new house. They’re putting data cabling throughout to connect it to Starlink. “We want this house to be relevant in 30 or 40 years’ time. We shouldn’t be building for the past, we should build for the future.”
They’ve put a shower room and sauna on the ground floor, but no bedroom as many older homeowners do. “We have no plans to stop using the stairs,” Marjorie says firmly.
The couple say they are ready to pass on their beloved old house “to someone else who will love it as much as we do”
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Their optimism is admirable. But at their age, why put themselves through the upheaval of all this construction? “It’s a challenge,” Marjorie says. “We’ve got two friends our age who are doing similar — renovating a Tudor place up in north Norfolk. They’re doing it for fun.”
“Why not?” John says. “I don’t let things worry me too much. How can I complain about anything when you look at what’s going on in Ukraine? We are so very lucky. We get up in the morning and just get on with it.”
The couple are a great case study for finding happiness later in life. “There are lots of couples who are not really happy,” John says. “We’ve gone through some tough times, but we’re exceedingly lucky now. I really appreciate that.”