On a trip to visit a creative arts district in a nearby city, Shari met a talented artist, and they immediately connected. During the conversation, she learned that art was an avocation and that her new friend Jodie was a licensed therapist who works only with women clients.
That sparked a lively interaction. The theme that connects the women she works with is that they all are in challenging relationships with men, both at work and in their personal lives.
Jodie supports them in sorting through the situations and emotions they stir and helps them find their voices to speak up. Her goal is to empower women to actively create their relationships—not from old stereotypes of women and their roles but from a reservoir of self-respect—and develop satisfying relationships based on common goals and honest conversations.
Shari’s partner, James, accompanied her on the trip and overheard the interaction between the two women. James is what we refer to in our blog as a “good guy and ally”. He’s supportive of women; uses his influence to empower and promote women at work, and speaks up when bias against women arises
James thought the conversation between Shari and Jodie might have been a little exaggerated, as the two women became very animated sharing their personal war stories about interactions with men at work. Shari assured him it was not and that every woman has a story of outrageous things men have said to them on the job.
She told him that when women get together and the subject comes up, there is often a flurry of stories. In fact, she told hin, she had encountered only one woman who did not have an outrageous story to share. Shari and James continued their conversation as they left the arts district and stopped for gas on the way home.
On line inside the convenience store, waiting to pay for gas and snacks, James jokingly said to Shari, “Are you a member of the she-woman man-haters club?” (A phrase adapted from the vintage comedy Little Rascals television show, the boys created a he-man woman-haters club.)
In line, too, were five women; another tended the cash register. Overhearing the comment, one woman piped up: “Yes, I just filed for divorce yesterday. I was so tired of the lack of respect, role expectations, and verbal putdowns, I had it.”
Another woman chimed in with a story about a male colleague bragging to her about making twice her salary managing one of the company’s stores—while she was managing two stores. When she complained to their boss, he said that her colleague deserved more money because he had a family and she did not. That, she said, was when she put in her notice.
Another woman, shared that while working for a big accounting firm, a married male peer was once walking by, then pivoted and planted a passionate kiss on her. She was stunned and immediately left the office. He called her and said he was not going to apologize and told her to “suck it up”. She demanded that it never happen again. She decided to leave the company—but with the feeling that somehow it was her fault.
Unfortunately, instead of reporting inappropriate actions and comments to human resources departments, women often wonder whether they did something to cause it.
Upon reflection, both Shari and James agreed that there need to be more professionals like Jodie, who empower women to hold their own, speak up, and report inappropriate actions and comments to HR. Perhaps there will be a day when women get together to talk about things that happen at work and the good stories will outweigh the outrageous.