Who hasn’t stood there and wanted to ground to swallow them whole? Golf’s a tough game and, when things are going wrong, it shows no mercy.
Whether it’s a duck hook, a complete whiff, a round that’s gone completely wrong, or a case of the dreaded sh… I can’t even say the word, all of you reading this will have had moments on the golf course that can only be described as disastrous.
In this episode of The NCG Golf Podcast, Tom Irwin and I detail some of our course catastrophes – the ones we’ve tried, and failed, to forget.
You can listen to all of them in much more detail in the episode below but, just to whet your appetite, we’ve highlighted a trio of our standout golf nightmares…
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A hole flag from the 150th Open at St Andrews | Source: Getty Images
Golf disasters: Tom’s Open Qualifying mishap
Tom said: “I enter Open Qualifying every year. This was two summers ago and what I’ve always done is enter the nearest venue to me.
“So a couple of years ago, I thought ‘I’m going to do it differently this year. I’m going to enter at Goswick’. It’s a classic links and two and a half hours up the road. It’s an amazing two loops of nine – a course between the dunes.”
He added: “I’ve arrived around half 10 thinking, ‘this is perfect. I can do an hour’s practice. I’m not here too early and I’m all ready for my 12.10pm tee time’.
“I pulled into the car park. You have to give your name as a player. I get round to the car park guy and he says, ‘what time’s your tee time?’ ‘I think it’s 12.10pm’ and he said, ‘no, can’t see you here’. I was like, ‘it definitely is’.
“I opened my phone up and I’d been looking at the start sheet for the previous year when my time was indeed 12.10pm. But this year, my time was 10.20am and I’d arrived at 10.40pm – missing my tee time by 20 minutes and thus being disqualified.”
Golf disasters: Steve’s unwanted Captain’s Day record
It’s still a club record, but not the kind of any of us would want. It’s 2017, at Sandburn Hall, in York, and I’m about to drive-in for my year as Captain.
I’m prone to overthinking things and I must have played that first shot 8,347 times in my head before I finally stood on the 1st tee.
In the weeks leading up to the stroke I’d also developed a destructive snap hook. Coincidence? I don’t think so, but I couldn’t get the ball off the ground.
I must have been in the driving range for about an hour and a half drilling ball after ball to try and break the spell the morning of the ceremony.
I probably should have been in the bar, easing my nerves with a couple of smooth ales. It couldn’t have worked out any worse.
What I did instead was turn up at the tee and snap it 96 yards. The ball barely got off the ground.
Want to know what’s worse? We did a charity sweepstake beforehand – guess the yardage the drive would travel – and the list started at 100 yards. So not only had I botched the drive, I even ruined the sweepstake!
Portugal Masters Pro-Am | Source: NCG
Golf disasters: Steve gets a pity five at a pro-am
I seem to have a thing about hitting shots in front of crowds. A few years ago, I played in the Portuguese Masters Pro-Am on the Old Course, in Vilamoura.
It was a Texas Scramble Format, which is basically the softest form of golf there is. There’s absolutely no pressure because there are three other people with you on every single shot.
But did I play any good golf? No, it was awful. I topped it off the 1st and it didn’t get any better. I told myself the sandy turf didn’t suit, but I ended up scuffing nearly every ball.
Our pro was Nacho Elvira, a multiple DP World Tour winner and all-round lovely guy. But when I finally hit a green on the 15th, Nacho was so surprised he gave me a high five. A pity five! God, I was bad that day.
Now have your say
What do you make of these golf disasters and what are your worst moments on a golf course? Let us know in the comments below, or get in touch and reveal all on X.