It started with a text that didn’t get a reply — and I could feel myself spiraling. As someone who is constantly “on” due to perfectionist tendencies and diagnosed ADHD, I tend to overthink.
Perhaps you or someone you know is like this? We draft follow-ups in our heads and wonder if we said something wrong, making up scenarios and narratives without any proof whatsoever. It’s exhausting.
I’ve leaned on AI in a pinch during a panic attack and figured this time instead of overthinking, I’d ask ChatGPT what to do in this case using the “let them” theory made famous by Mel Robbins’ book.
While ChatGPT is certainly not a human therapist and should never be used as such, I was surprised by its ability to instantly apply the theory to that scenario. In fact, I decided to give it a full twenty-four hours to help me. I was surprised by the results.
What is the ‘Let Them’ rule?
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The idea comes from Mel Robbins, and it’s surprisingly simple. If someone does something you don’t like — cancels plans, doesn’t respond or acts in a way you wouldn’t — your instinct is usually to step in, fix it or take it personally.
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The “Let Them” rule flips that. Instead of trying to control the situation, you let people do what they’re going to do — and focus on what you can control instead.
That doesn’t mean you stop having standards or boundaries. It just means you stop wasting energy trying to manage other people’s behavior.
It sounded almost too simple. Which, if you know me, it’s exactly why I wanted to test it.
Here’s the prompt I used: “I’m trying the ‘Let Them’ rule for 24 hours. Every time I feel the urge to control something, I’ll tell you what’s happening. Give me the ‘Let Them’ version of how to respond.”
Then I actually followed it and decided to see what it felt like to give ChatGPT the job to think it through (whatever “it” was) instead of me. That alone felt like a shift.
The first moment it worked (and surprised me)
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Whether it was unanswered texts from friends to difficult conversations with contractors or even issues with the school disctrict involving my daughter’s IEP, whenever I felt the familiar spiral starting, I’d ask ChatGPT what to do by starting with the problem and asking for guidance using the “let them” prompt.
And while it may sound obvious to an outsider, each time it helped stop the spiral completely. I even found myself putting my phone down more often and staying in the moment.
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The small moments that usually drain me or the situations that normally eat up way too much mental energy shifted. When plans changed last minute or when a friend cancelled something that would normally cause my first reaction to be annoyance, the prompt helped to shift my expectations.
ChatGPT reframed it instantly: “Let them have a life that doesn’t revolve around your schedule.”
Instead of overanalyzing it, I adjusted and moved on.
The shift I didn’t expect
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Since I often rely on AI for productivity tasks, I know that it can handle heavy lifting. It can sift through emails with ease and unsubscribe to newsletters I don’t read just as easily as it can respond to a task dispatched from my phone and onto my computer.
I’ll admit it, using it for the personal stuff that quietly feels heavy throughout my day felt…weird. But after reading Mel Robbins’ book, I hadn’t taken any steps to actually implement the rule myself.
Using AI was way for me to “check in” and hold myself accountable to stick with it. At one point, I felt the urge to correct something immediately — to make sure I was understood, to clarify, to fix it. Instead, I paused. That alone saved me from a ton of unnecessary stress.
Bottom line
When things just didn’t go my way, something took longer than expected or minor inconveniences stacked up (you know, that low-level frustration that builds throughout the day), I would explain the situation to ChatGPT and it would redirect my frustrations. As a working mom, wife and human, by the end of the day, something felt… lighter.
AI helped me realize how much energy I was wasting trying to control things that were out of my hands. Because of the prompt, I made decisions faster, felt less reactive and stopped overthinking small things, which ultimately helped me have more energy for the stuff that actually mattered.
Give the prompt a try and let me know what you thinkg. Using it a few times might change how you handle the moments that usually throw you off.
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