Jake Shears, 47, is an American singer, songwriter and actor, best known as the co-lead vocalist of Scissor Sisters, the pop band he formed with backing vocalist and multi-instrumentalist Babydaddy in 2000. The band hail from New York, with their self-titled debut album, featuring “Take Your Mama” and “Filthy/Gorgeous”, going to number one after a breakout Glastonbury performance in 2004. “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’”, co-written with Elton John, topped the Top 40 in 2006.

Shears made his Broadway debut in Kinky Boots in 2018. He toured with Kylie Minogue in 2019, appeared on The Masked Singerin 2020, and starred in Cabaret in the West End from 2023 to 2024. Here, he looks back at the moments that shaped him: from a nomadic childhood in the desert, to coming out in the 90s, witnessing 9/11, and getting the band back on the road.

I grew up in an RV. I was born in Mesa, Arizona, and we lived out in the desert, driving around in a motorhome for months at a time – from the West Coast, all the way to the East coast, up to Canada, then back down. We didn’t have a TV, so I would bring in piles of books. I was always reading and writing weird little stories. I still do. I finished a novel last New Year’s Eve, and I wrote a book last year – a real messy one.

I’m very extroverted but also very introverted – so right down the middle. I always knew I wanted to perform, but I didn’t quite know how. At NYU, I started hanging out in the experimental theatre wing and got cast in shows. I was also making money dancing on bars.

I’ve always needed attention. I wanted to make people laugh, to be the centre of the room. Now it’s my career, I don’t have those impulses so strongly, but I’ve definitely funnelled them into my work.

I was in New York on 9/11, when the towers fell. It felt like a very pivotal moment in my life, and for the city. Around that time, Babydaddy and I started just messing around with music – he was learning Logic, and we’d make silly songs, just to make each other laugh. Then we started performing them.

When I first heard our first single, “Electrobix”, played in public, I knew my life was about to change. It was at the Sónar by Day festival in Barcelona, on the best drugs I’ve ever had. Suddenly hearing our song just blew my mind.

I’m not as good as a single guy – I feel unmoored. Dating in your forties is hard, and when I first moved to London, I wasn’t at my happiest. Now I’ve got a wonderful boyfriend, Jon Reynolds – he’s a West End dancer. We met when I was doing Cabaret in London. We went on a blind date, and it’s been two years.

I’m still learning the secret to a happy relationship. I was in one for 10 years. It’s about staying plugged in – paying close attention, listening, communicating, not letting the weeds grow. You’ve got to keep your garden tended to.

When you came out in the 90s, people treated it like a death sentence – Aids was so synonymous with being gay. I came out at 15, which was hard, because there weren’t a lot of 15-year-olds coming out in the 90s. I feel lucky to have come out at the tail end of that generation, but it was still hard. Being a gay man seemed nebulous and abstract to a lot of people, but I was experiencing it first hand.

America is in an absolute mess, but I haven’t lost all hope. I think we can still pick up the pieces someday. For now, I’m really happy to not be there.

I need to work hard and sweat, otherwise I dip into melancholy. I’m 47, and feel much better when I’m working out – I need those endorphins. I’ve got a big, outgoing personality, but there’s a melancholy side, and exercising helps keep that at bay.

I have no desire to be hugely famous. You can live your life in London. Nobody cares, and that’s nice. I can’t imagine having the kind of fame that becomes an imposition. I feel like I’ve hit a sweet spot.

I love being in slightly over my head. I’m not sure I can pull off highly stressful, high pressure situations, though. I’m always just trying new things and learning new skills – right now, I’m busting my ass learning to properly play the piano and I’m loving it. Whether it’s the West End, Broadway, or writing, I consider myself an all around creative person – but at my core, I’ll always be a performer.

‘Scissor Sisters: It’s 10pm … Do You Know Where Your Sisters Are? Live From The O2, London’ is out now